“Damn, you’re calling me a scoundrel!” The old man jumped in anger.
“Huh? You can read minds?” I instinctively covered my chest.
“Of course! Who am I? A god!” The old man boasted.
“May I ask—which divine realm are you from?” I had never heard of such a dark god.
“Dark? Am I dark? Even if I’m a little dark, you can’t just slander that I’m not a god!” He emphasized “a little bit.”
“You’d be lost in a coal pile…” I muttered under my breath. “Alright, which path are you from?”
“Infernal Affairs!” The old man declared proudly, then quickly covered his mouth, chuckling, “Accident, pure accident. Watched too many movies.”
“Do gods watch movies?” I asked, intrigued.
“Of course—gods must keep up with the times! The Heavenly Court has replaced mirrors watching mortals with 36-inch LCD screens, so what’s wrong with watching a movie?”
“Okay, shouldn’t you introduce yourself first?” We were back to the original question.
The old man straightened his clothes: “Oh. Ahem, I’m Tai Bai Jinxing…”
“Wait…” I interrupted. Did I hear that right? He said his name is Tai “Bai” Jinxing?
“Who says Tai Bai Jinxing must be white?” he responded, annoyed.
“Aren’t they always white on TV? Are they deceiving the audience? How outrageous!”
“Well… not entirely… I was in a hurry today… didn’t have time to put on makeup…” Tai Bai Jinxing looked shy, shuffling his feet.
A wave of goosebumps: “So you’re called Tai ‘White’ because you use too much powder?”
“Pretty much.” His expression—oh my god!
“Let’s talk about your purpose.” Changing the subject seemed best.
“Oh, right, almost forgot.” Tai Bai Jinxing finally returned to normal. “That just now—actually, I accidentally—well—”
Seeing his expression, I thought I probably knew how I died. “Speak!” I gritted my teeth.
“It’s the Heavenly Court’s fault. With fewer public toilets than banks, I accidentally had a stomachache, found a corner, discovered it was a tofu-dregs project, and accidentally… stuff fell down…”
“And then accidentally killed me?” I glared at him, ashen-faced. So, I was killed by… excrement—embarrassing.
“Basically… that’s how it was…” At this point, finger-twisting was useless. Too late, watch my fist—
“Wait!” Seeing my intention, Tai Bai Jinxing quickly stopped me.
“Speak!” My tone was unfriendly.
