Introduction: My name is Xiang Xiaowu, a name so ordinary it couldn’t be more ordinary, a girl as unremarkable as one could be, studying at a private school where beautiful girls are as common as cow hair, which is quite annoying. Ironically, our Yunxiao High School only boasts two major heartthrobs: Sheng Siwei and Gu Nanxiang. Hmph! Heartthrobs! What’s so great about them? In my eyes, they’re just ridiculous monkeys. However, embarrassingly enough, I’m actually part of the Gu faction. Those brainless girls have split into two groups: Sheng’s and Gu’s. Ugh! Idiots! Here begins my story:
Main Text: I enjoy blogging, and this bad habit of mine betrayed my secret. Xia Wei, after sneakily reading my blog, exclaimed dramatically, “Oh my God, Xiang Xiaowu, you’ve got a crush on him, and… you’re even part of the Gu faction!” So what if I’m in the Gu faction? But truly, it’s embarrassing. Someone like me, who only gives the middle finger to boys, has actually joined the Gu faction! That’s really embarrassing! Super embarrassing! Xia Wei also said, “Poor little Xiaowu, you have no hope.” Pfft! Who cares? It’s not like that monkey will ever know I have a crush on him. Cough! Cough! I mean, like him. In fact, I’ve only seen him twice afterward. Once, he was playing the electric guitar, singing “Love in Qingcheng” to himself, and I downloaded it as my ringtone when I got home; another time at the school gate, where a dozen girls in super short skirts with made-up faces were gathered, and when he walked by, they screamed like crazy, “Leader! Leader! I love you!” It was quite a spectacle, earth-shaking! A fan club of die-hard fans! The funniest part was that the girls from Sheng’s faction were so angry, puffing out their cheeks, wishing they could challenge the Gu faction with megaphones. But later on, much later, I found out… Gu Nanxiang actually likes… Xia Wei.
One weekend, Xia Wei and I were taking the bus home. According to Xia Wei, it was to experience the joy of common folk, and for me, it was to save money. I never imagined we’d meet Gu Nanxiang on the bus. When the bus doors opened, and he stepped in, my heart nearly jumped out of my throat. “Hey!” Just as my mind was in turmoil, Xia Wei nudged me with her elbow. “He’s looking at me…” Xia Wei whispered in my ear, “He’s been looking at me since he got on… this is the sixth time.” “Who?” “Obviously, Gu, the leader of the faction.” No way! I was stunned, my heart skipped a beat, tears welling up. “Maybe… he’s looking at you.” Xia Wei turned to me with a smile, then burst into laughter, clutching her stomach. What’s that supposed to mean? Is it strange for him to look at me? I, Xiang Xiaowu, excel in all subjects, always in the top three in school; it wouldn’t be wrong for him to admire me, maybe he’s even my fan. Hehe~~~ I can assure you, if it were anyone else, I would’ve hit them with my textbook without hesitation. I grew up in a single-parent family. My mother, Ms. Xiang Fei, is very beautiful, but I look nothing like her. So, whenever those girls see a photo of my mom, they exclaim in surprise, “Are you sure this is really your mother?” or “Are you adopted?” It’s really infuriating!
Ms. Xiang runs a small company. She always makes herself busier than the Prime Minister! I hate her; all these years, she’s been working away from home, leaving me with Aunt Xiang Tong like baggage. It’s as if I’ve never been her child. I remember that night, that night when it was snowing heavily, I watched her and Su Hao sign their divorce agreement. They sat across from each other like business negotiators, solemn in expression. Xiang Fei’s hand trembled slightly as she signed. At the moment of signing, I heard her roar in a voice filled with despair and near anger, “Su Hao, you’ll never see Xiang Xiaowu again in this lifetime.” The pen fell to the ground and broke, ink seeping into the floor like a ghastly wound. And there I was, a seven-year-old, hiding in the dark corner, watching their fierce argument. I dare say, that night’s snow was the coldest, the most chilling in history. After that, Su Hao slammed the door and left, never to be seen again from that night on. Xiang Fei is always decisive, true to her word. Several times, I overheard Aunt Xiang Tong on the phone, whispering, “Xiaowu, this child, occasionally becomes reclusive and has a bad temper…” I knew she was talking to Xiang Fei. After the divorce, Xiang Fei didn’t want to see me anymore, except for depositing a fixed allowance into my account each month, to prove she’s still my guardian.
Although I couldn’t confirm whether that sentence was really said by Xiang Fei, I still cried. Wanting to commit suicide—Xiang Fei, my dear mother, no matter how much I hated you, how much I didn’t want to see you; yet, you are still the closest person to me in this world. That day, Xia Wei didn’t go to school. During the break, I called her mobile, but it was off, and then, almost instinctively, I dialed her home phone. “Hello!” came the voice of the nanny. “I thought—” What if Xia Wei wasn’t at home? She’s no stranger to skipping classes. “Is that Xiaoxiao?” “…Yes… it’s me.” “Xiaoxiao, why are you calling at this time? Did you not go to school, or did something happen to Wei Wei?” The nanny on the other end asked nervously. Sweat was pouring from my forehead, and in my panic, a lie just slipped out: “How could that be? Xia Wei… she… haha, she’s right next to me, yawning. I was actually trying to call home, but… look… I accidentally dialed the wrong number.” “Oh! I thought something was wrong.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “How could anything be wrong? Haha, no problem! I’ll hang up now, goodbye.” “Goodbye.” I hastily hung up, my hand on my chest where my heart was pounding. It took quite a while to calm down. Xia Wei wasn’t at home, so where could she have gone? I remember when I first came to Yunxiao High School, it was during my rebellious phase. At that time, Xiang Fei was at home, and I was constantly at odds with her. She didn’t care about me at all. When I saw her leave without even looking back through the curtain gap, I felt utterly hopeless. Really, once she left, I didn’t want to make trouble anymore. I hid the razor blade under my blanket for three days, crying for three days. I thought, if I died, you would regret it, right? But I didn’t die. I watched a movie where a girl slit her wrist, and her death was agonizing. I was scared. The first time I told Xia Wei about this, she stared at me, her eyes full of sympathy: My poor little Xiaoxiao, you actually considered suicide. When the class teacher discovered my secret, I said, yes, I was extremely conflicted at the time. Without a word, she grabbed my hand and rolled up my sleeve. I gave a weak smile and pulled my hand back. She sighed and patted my head sorrowfully: Xiaoxiao, no matter what, you must never do something so foolish. You should understand, if you died, how heartbroken your mother would be. That conversation happened on the first New Year’s Day after I entered Yunxiao. Xia Wei and I were on the rooftop. That day, the wind was fierce, carrying snowflakes, and everything was pitch black around us. She wore a thin black skirt, shivering; I was also chilled to the bone, my teeth chattering. I turned my back to her, my voice somewhat choked. Xia Wei gently hugged me from behind. She said, Xiaoxiao, please believe me, I can understand you, really. From that day on, we became friends.
