“I’m not afraid of her,” I said, contemplating his thin undergarment. “Do you—like her?”
He turned, pulling me into his embrace, and after a pause, said, “Silly monster.”
I felt reassured as my eyelids began to droop. An Jin’s hand gently patted my back, like a soothing lullaby.
That night, I slept well and vaguely remember dreaming of a sunny day from the summer when I was five, when An Jin and I went to catch frogs by a small stream in the forest. The weather was unbearably hot, and I was sweating as I saw the sparkling, clear stream and smooth, colorful pebbles. Excited, I took off my jacket and jumped in. The water was refreshingly cool, reaching my chest. I called for An Jin to join me.
He hesitated but was tempted by the water, slowly undressing to enter. His skin was white and tender, like freshly baked buns. We caught small fish and splashed water at each other. I played with him and secretly pulled down his pants underwater. Just as I was about to clap and mock him, I accidentally looked down and was heartbroken, continuously wiping tears.
An Jin panicked, patting my back and asking what was wrong.
I cried, “Brother Jin, you have a meat worm on you.”
An Jin blushed, hurriedly pulling up his pants and stammering that it wasn’t a worm.
Since I hadn’t bathed with my older brother before, this was my first time seeing such a “thing.” Although An Jin comforted me for a long time, I stubbornly believed he was seriously ill and might not live long.
Finally, An Jin held my hand, promised he would be fine, and bought me several sugar cakes with different fillings, making me laugh through my tears.
When I woke up, I found myself smiling, my mouth moist, as if something had passed over it. An Jin had probably been awake for a while, his face dark red and somewhat embarrassed.
I cleared my throat, casually wiping my lips: “Did I talk in my sleep?”
He shook his head.
“Did I steal the blanket?”
He shook his head again. I felt calm, suddenly aware that my right palm was burning hot. Opening my hand and lifting the blanket, I curled up, mortified. “I didn’t mean to…”
