Walking aimlessly on a quiet street, stepping on fallen yellow leaves, his last words echoed in my ears, sand blinding my eyes.
In the evening, I washed myself countless times in the bathroom, unable to remove his scent. Lying in bed, exhausted and dizzy, my mind was filled with our bed scenes, every position, every detail, even his expressions.
Ah! Men always fantasize about women before sex, forgetting everything after. Women forget men before sex but can’t stop thinking about them afterward.
As I reflected, a message tone rang on my phone. I sat up quickly, hoping it was from Yin Zhongtian.
Opening it, I saw a message from an unknown number: “I’m hungry! Want to eat your noodles again?”
I stared blankly at the message, recalling the blooming cherry blossoms that year, outside his window…
My apartment and Ye Zhengchen’s were separated by a completely non-soundproof wall. Initially, out of politeness, I shared food whenever I cooked. During his days off, I’d prepare meals and invite him.
Gradually, it became a habit for him to come and freeload. One night, past midnight, he knocked on my door: “Girl, I’m starving! Cook me some noodles.”
I drowsily opened the door, rubbing my eyes. “It’s so late, are you treating me like a daughter?!”
He glanced at my thin nightgown. “I’d rather treat you like a wife, are you willing?!”
I pulled my nightgown closed, rolling my eyes. While cooking noodles, I sighed, “Who would be your wife? This life would be ruined!”
I put down my phone and, an hour later, slowly typed: “Go home and have your wife cook for you.” Two hours later, I deleted it character by character.
Asking about love is hard to let go of, but it’s also hard to continue.
Author’s note: Who says you have to put clothes back on? With such a striking name and synopsis, how could I not start with something striking?!
Scattered memories of the past. I put on a coat, walked to the window, and opened the curtains. A cold wind blew on my damp hair, providing a cool sensation. The burning-like pain on my neck, shoulders, and chest was now soothed.
In front of the street lamp, a black Hummer SUV was parked, its deep color and sharp angles suggesting it belonged to a man who could conquer everything. I couldn’t see through the dark green window, but the engine was still running, and light gray smoke drifted from the exhaust pipe, disappearing into the night. Next to the car stood an old elm tree, its withered yellow leaves illuminated by moonlight.
I tilted my head back, remembering the old elm tree at my childhood home, lush and verdant in summer. My father and Yin Zhongtian’s father were long-time colleagues and friends. Yin Zhongtian, four years older, always wore a clean white shirt, his patient smile evident. I often pestered him to play with me, sometimes begging him to help me climb the old elm tree, but he always refused.
On the eve of my college graduation, Yin Zhongtian confessed his feelings for me in a romantic café.
He wore a tailored suit, with smooth skin, thick eyebrows, and a high-bridged nose, looking refined and cultured. He nervously stirred his coffee with a steel spoon, confessing he had liked me for a long time.
Scared, I shook my head frantically.
He was puzzled, as if the relationship was perfectly logical. “Do you have someone you like?”
“Yes! But they haven’t appeared yet!”
Yin Zhongtian was classic husband material—handsome, gentle, cultured, and hardworking. After graduating, he became a national civil servant in the municipal government, with a bright future. However, influenced by Taiwanese romance novels, I believed the taste of “unable to give up” was true love.
I was waiting for a man who would make me fall in love at first sight, grow deeper with each meeting, and leave me heartbroken yet without regret.
After rejecting Yin Zhongtian, my mother repeatedly nagged: “Zhongtian is a good man; what kind of man are you looking for? Looks? Those are just pretty but useless. A rich young master? They’re unreliable! Zhongtian…”
Annoyed, I interrupted her: “I want to find a soldier.”
“A soldier?! Soldiers don’t even have personal freedom. How can they take care of you…”
She went on a long lecture about why soldiers were no good, but I stubbornly liked them anyway. Just thinking about that dark green military uniform, independent posture, and strong sense of restraint intoxicated me. Occasionally, I fantasized about taking minutes to unbutton his clothes, wishing a soldier would appear for me to pounce on.
After being nagged by my mother for months, I couldn’t bear it anymore. To protect my long-fatigued eardrums and avoid becoming deaf, I gritted my teeth and decided to go to Japan alone to continue my studies. I told my father it was to save the declining medical industry, and he was so moved that he took out all his savings accumulated over twenty years.
Three years ago, with a pure wish, I met the person destined for me and experienced that irresistible love.
On my first day, I got to know the Chinese students nearby, except for Ye Zhengchen, who didn’t come back all night. For several consecutive days, he still hadn’t returned, and I suspected he had already moved out. I asked Liu Jie downstairs, who said, “Ye Zhengchen?! That handsome guy! You’d better stay away from him. He’s a typical playboy who loves luxury cars and beautiful women.”
I looked at Qin Xue beside me and joked, “Then he must really love Qin Xue.” She turned away, lowering her eyelids, and I sensed a hint of ambiguity regarding her feelings.
I later mentioned Ye Zhengchen to Qin Xue, and she said, “He’s a man impossible to figure out. You’ll never guess what’s on his mind.” I wanted to explain that men and women think differently, but I held back seeing her mood wasn’t great.
A few days later, Brother Feng and Sister Feng invited the neighbors to their home to make dumplings. While we sat making them, one girl said, “I heard there’s an incredibly handsome guy in our apartment.”
“Ye Zhengchen? He’s not just handsome, he’s devastatingly attractive,” another girl declared. I was stunned by the admiration.
“I heard he’s a master at seducing girls and has never failed…”
Xiao Lu, pinching a dumpling, sighed, “Men like that are poison, pure poison.” I felt relieved, thinking that as a medicine student, even if I got poisoned, I wouldn’t die miserably.
The talkative Sister Feng quietly asked, “Is Ye Zhengchen dating Qin Xue?”
“Really?” I was surprised. Qin Xue hadn’t mentioned anything.
“They’ve been playing this ambiguous game for who knows how long,” Xiao Lu said. “Who knows what’s really going on?”
“Don’t talk nonsense, it’s not true!” Brother Feng, who had just come to serve dumplings, interrupted. “Ye Zhengchen and Qin Xue have no relationship.”
“Where has Ye Zhengchen been? Is he coming tonight?” someone asked.
“He went to Tokyo for a conference with the professor. He should be back in a couple of days.”
I suddenly understood that asking men is more efficient for information.
After hearing so many rumors, my curiosity about Ye Zhengchen grew.
I hoped to knock on his door, checking morning and night. No one answered, and the note I stuck on the door remained untouched. I thought: Ah! Handsome guy, could you come back soon? I can’t live without the internet!
One day, with still no sign of Ye Zhengchen, I decided to solve my hunger issue before continuing my stakeout. I took the hand-drawn map from the Indian guy in the lab and set out to find the legendary affordable supermarket.
The Indian said it was close, a 30-minute walk. I struggled for an hour without seeing a supermarket. Standing at the crossroads, I sighed: If only I had studied world geography properly!
