Raise your hand if you want the girl to agree. Loveless [Revised Version] The words “marry me” suddenly escaped Ye Zhengchen’s lips, catching me off guard and leaving no time to remove my engagement ring. I felt I should have a thousand reasons to refuse: I haven’t officially ended my engagement with Yin Zhongtian; I haven’t explained anything to my parents; I haven’t had time to know Ye Zhengchen in his military uniform; I don’t have the courage to love him recklessly again; I don’t know if this unqualified lover can be a qualified husband or son-in-law; I haven’t met his family, and I don’t know if his parents would accept me. Truly, there are a thousand reasons, but none could stop my racing heartbeat, which felt like it could jump out at any moment. Suddenly, a drop of icy water slid into my collar, extremely cold. The towel had melted and was trickling down my face. I shivered and huddled myself. Ye Zhengchen noticed the melting ice, casually throwing the towel on the coffee table, his cold fingers gently following the water’s path down to my collar. I sat frozen, unable to move, staring at him. His hand seemed frozen too, fingers stopping at my collar, staring straight ahead. “You…
“Perhaps from the cold compress, my speech was unclear, my voice trembling. ‘Can you really help him?’
‘Mm.’ His gaze fell on my lips. ‘I guarantee you’ll be satisfied.’
‘Oh…’ Does that mean I also have to satisfy him?
His face approached slowly, his breath carrying a faint smell of alcohol. Time seemed to freeze, my mind entering a shutdown state.
His lips drew closer, like April cherry blossom petals with sweet dew, leaving a tingling sensation. I found it difficult to resist Ye Zhengchen’s tenderness; when he became gentle, I felt dizzy, unsure whether to push him away or embrace him. The doorbell suddenly rang, startling us both. Ye Zhengchen cursed softly, looking towards my door.
Late at night, few people visit my home, one being right in front of me. As I thought of the other, I was jolted awake, stumbling to the door. Through the peephole, I saw Yin Zhongtian outside, head down, tightly clutching a plastic bag from a pharmacy.
I looked back helplessly at Ye Zhengchen, instinctively hoping he would hide. He sat on the sofa, clearly guessing who it was and had no intention of hiding. I felt like I’d fallen into an ice cellar, my breath like frost.”
I hesitated to leave Yin Zhongtian some dignity by sparing him from this scene.
“Why won’t you open the door? Are you afraid he’ll be stimulated? Or do you think…” Ye Zhengchen smiled faintly, his tone light. “He’s returned, indicating he’s already forgiven you?”
I realized the man before me was terrifying, or perhaps he had always been this way, and I just hadn’t noticed.
“I’m afraid he’ll kill you,” I said through gritted teeth.
Ye Zhengchen snorted contemptuously and ignored me.
Yin Zhongtian pressed the doorbell again, the sound becoming anxious and scratching at my eardrums.
Some things must be faced. Hiding from today’s sunrise won’t prevent tomorrow’s sunset. I turned the lock, slowly opening the door like lighting a bomb’s fuse.
As the door opened, Yin Zhongtian rushed forward eagerly, grabbing my hand. “Xiao Bing, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have hit you.”
His words stopped as his eyes focused behind me. I empathized with his feelings; I too had seen my beloved man enter another woman’s home late at night. Yin Zhongtian must feel, like me, that he was the most foolish person in the world, wishing for a cliff to jump off.
Yin Zhongtian, usually good-tempered, finally exploded. He flung the bag in his hand and charged towards the door like a madman.
Seeing him clench his fist, I immediately blocked the doorway. “Don’t…”
He pushed me, and I staggered. After steadying myself, I saw Ye Zhengchen standing up, quickly grabbing Yin Zhongtian’s arm. I wasn’t worried about Ye Zhengchen hitting him; I was concerned that a fight would leave Yin Zhongtian humiliated if he lost.
“Let go!” Yin Zhongtian shouted.
“Zhongtian! Calm down… You can’t beat him.”
Yin Zhongtian glared at me, his body rigid.
I wanted to say more, but he angrily pushed me away and ran downstairs, his steps chaotic.
His distress reminded me of when Dad was seriously ill. Kneeling in the temple, I prayed for his safety. Yin Zhongtian knelt with me, offering to pray daily if it helped. During sleepless nights, I would sit on the bench outside the hospital in a daze, and he would stay with me, accompanying me through the long nights.
I still remember sitting under the old elm tree, my lips turning purple from the cold, and he draped clothes over me, making me believe that someone in this world could give me warmth besides Ye Zhengchen.
But what did I give him? I let him witness my betrayal without giving him a chance to vent his emotions.
“Zhongtian?!” I called out, only to have my wrist gripped tightly and pulled back into the room. The door slammed shut, and Ye Zhengchen glared at me coldly.
The ice had melted, and water seeped from the towel, trickling across the glass coffee table and splashing onto the floor.
Suddenly, Ye Zhengchen embraced me, lifted my face, and kissed me fiercely. Although I had experienced this many times, his sudden kiss shocked me. The wound on my face throbbed as he continued, his powerful arms trapping me, his lips ravaging, and his tongue invading my mouth.
I felt increasingly breathless, everything before my eyes blurring, with only the intense mixture of love and resentment between us remaining clear. Eventually, I lost all sensation, collapsing weakly in his arms, without the strength to breathe…
Noticing my state, Ye Zhengchen ended his kiss, supporting my swaying body. “Darling? What’s wrong?”
My head was dizzy. “I’m just… very tired.”
I felt completely drained. Ye Zhengchen noticed my poor complexion and checked my heartbeat. “Are you feeling unwell?”
“I’m a bit dizzy,” I replied. After working all day, not eating dinner, and then experiencing so much, followed by a passionate kiss, how could I not be exhausted?
“Wait a moment,” he said, carrying me to the bedroom and laying me on the bed before rushing to the kitchen.
He soon returned with a cup of hot sugar water, placing it at my lips. The temperature was just right—hot but not scalding, sweet but not cloying, spreading warmth through my empty stomach.
“Feeling better?” he asked, wiping the water droplets from the corner of my mouth.
“Mm.”
Looking at him now, gentle as ever, he seemed like the most beautiful illusion in a dream. If possible, I wish the past was just a dream. After waking, I would return to that small apartment with cherry blossoms blooming outside the window. We would sleep on lotus-colored sheets, fingers intertwined, with our names engraved on matching couple watches.
Yun Yin and Yin Zhongtian are absent; it’s just he and I, enjoying our world and calculating our tutoring fees.
The past is unchangeable, but the future? I wonder if I want a future with him. The answer is yes. Even if the future brings scars, I’m willing to try again.
He is Ye Zhengchen, my first love and once-shattered dream. With him, I feel truly alive, regardless of whether our experiences are sweet or bitter.
“Go to sleep. Don’t think about anything, rest well,” he said, helping me lie down.
“What about you?”
“I’ll sleep on the sofa…” He raised an eyebrow, with a mischievous smile: “If you insist I sleep on the bed, I won’t mind.”
As he fetched a blanket, I called out, “Winter is coming, and nights are getting cold…”
I knew he couldn’t sleep well on the sofa; just days ago, I heard him tossing and turning all night. “Don’t you have other friends in Nanzhou?”
“I don’t sleep in others’ beds,” he bluntly replied, “except yours.”
