Fu Xiaotang stared at her now-empty hand, which had just been warmly held. It felt empty, as if she had lost something important, yet she couldn’t remember what it was. On the way home that evening, in Fang Junjie’s car, Fu Xiaotang seemed unusually cheerful, chattering away, “Azun, Brother Ten’s house is so big, I got disoriented when we left…” Fang Junjie focused on driving, smiling slightly without responding. “Can I really go there often?” Fu Xiaotang clasped her hands, her eyes crescent-shaped with joy, “I love their kitchen, and the flower garden too.” Fang Junjie’s smile stiffened, his knuckles whitening as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. Fu Xiaotang, oblivious, continued her silly laughter, talking non-stop. “I didn’t even get to tell you about last time when I took Ji Shan to eat with Tang Li, and Xiao Tao said she liked gentle, beautiful boys like Ji Shan, and she even asked if Young Master Junjie was keeping you as a trophy boyfriend. How annoying is she?” Fang Junjie’s expression darkened, his foot suddenly hit the brake, the car skidding half across the street before coming to a stop in a dark alley. Fu Xiaotang was startled, still catching her breath when Fang Junjie abruptly pulled her to him, holding her head firmly, and kissed her fiercely. Wei Xiaozhang instinctively struggled, but Fang Junjie’s arm, as if cast from iron, gripped her tightly, so tight that she could hardly breathe. He almost bit into every corner of her mouth, his fierce approach seeming to want to dismantle and consume her. Fu Xiaotang kept her body tense until the pain from his biting made her realize what he was doing, but she did not resist, allowing his domineering and painful assault. Perhaps she needed the pain too, otherwise, since earlier, she had been lost in thought, dazed, feeling nothing but the sharp pain deep in her heart. That’s why she desperately tried to make conversation, that’s why she vaguely wanted to use physical pain to resist the psychological torment. It wasn’t until Fang Junjie’s hand, tenderly and inexorably, slipped inside her shirt that a sudden clarity struck her. With difficulty and struggle, she exhaled, “No!” Fang Junjie paid no attention, effortlessly pushing her down onto the passenger seat, his long, nimble fingers already touching her back. Fu Xiaotang shivered, her voice slightly quivering with a hint of tears, “A Zun, don’t.” Fang Junjie abruptly stopped all his movements. The two, as if strangers, stared at each other from close proximity, both panting slightly, unable to control it. After a long while, he suddenly got up, pulled her up, and whispered almost inaudibly, “I’m sorry.” He quickly started the car, and all the way, he didn’t say another word to her. Fu Xiaotang stared blankly at his profile; Fang Junjie had never been like this. He was always gentle, elegant, and charming, even in the beginning of their acquaintance, he had never shown her even a hint of coldness. Fu Xiaotang thought this, feeling as if something was stuck in her chest, making her very sad. She vaguely knew it was because of her, but she wasn’t sure exactly why.
The car raced along, soon arriving at the “Heavenly Paradise” building. Fang Junjie seemed to have recovered, smiling faintly at Fu Xiaotang, “You go up first, I have some things to deal with.” Fu Xiaotang felt restless, wanting to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out. Fang Junjie, looking very tired, sighed lightly, “Go to bed early, we’ll talk if there’s anything tomorrow, okay?” Fu Xiaotang could only nod and got out of the car. Fang Junjie turned his head away without looking back, and in an instant, the car was gone. Fu Xiaotang stood there, dazed, remembering the time Fang Junjie had brought her to their family banquet, dropping her off at the same spot. But that time was full of tender affection, unlike the cold detachment now, the contrast making her heart a mix of emotions.
