She held Jiang Shangheng’s ashes, refusing to let go, feeling cold and hot compresses on her forehead. She knew she was sick and feverish but didn’t want to wake up. In waking, she’d only have his handful of dust, but in dreams, she at least had his bloody self, though she could never catch him, not even his fingers.
Madame Min kept telling her that if she didn’t improve, she would lose the child; Aunt Lin held her hand, saying if she didn’t wake up, how could Jiang Shangheng rest in peace.
Her belly suddenly began to hurt, as if the child was protesting, protesting the mother’s neglect, her collapse, her silent abandonment.
Gu Qingtong released Jiang Shangheng’s ashes, and her abdomen grew increasingly painful until she was given a bowl of extremely bitter medicine.
The medicine seemed to contain sedatives. This time, she fell into a complete sleep, with no nightmares, no Jiang Shangheng, dreaming of nothing.
Winter arrived in the blink of an eye. Gu Qingtong was no longer as heartbroken and tearful as before, but she still avoided accepting Jiang Shangheng’s death.
Because she refused to be far from him, Jiang Shangheng’s ashes were buried under the wood hibiscus tree in the yard.
Master Jiang, thinking about letting the deceased rest, but considering her pregnancy, allowed her to do as she wished.
She now rarely left her home, just watching him daily.
Gu Qingtong looked out, seeing Yanxing City covered in snow, with endless snowflakes continuously falling.
After winter arrived, the dozen children left by General He no longer followed Master Min on escort missions. For the first time outside Floating Cloud Mountain, seeing snow made them joyful. The weather wasn’t too cold, so the younger children played in the snow in the yard, while the older ones entertained themselves by throwing snowballs at each other.
Winter had come, so spring was not far behind.
Gu Qingtong remembered that she had also arrived here in spring. She first met Jiang Shangheng by the lake, and he had saved her. The tombstone in the yard wasn’t intricately carved, but she felt that by looking at it, he was also looking at her.
