Boss Wu slapped his forehead, “What the hell is going on tonight, so many unexpected things happening, and now someone is calling in sick.”
Liu Quanhai and Qi Shejiang exchanged glances, suddenly reaching a mutual understanding. Liu Quanhai smiled, “Then this is a perfect time. Boss Wu, why not take this opportunity to let little Jesse perform a segment here?”
Boss Wu considered it; he was looking at Xia Yiwei.
Xia Yiwei was stunned.
After a while, she suddenly spoke, “Okay, you go on stage and see if you can save this situation.”
Upon careful reflection, given her son’s personality, stopping him would only make him rebellious.
If she gave him a chance to take the stage, perhaps reality would teach him a lesson?
Performing comedy was not the same as singing.
Liu Quanhai nodded, “Alright then, what shall we perform? I’ll support you with a segment?”
But Qi Shejiang shook his head, “No time to coordinate lines; I’ll just do a solo act.”
…
Qi Shejiang took a moment to prepare in the backstage and borrowed some “equipment.”
After twenty minutes, it was time for Qi Shejiang to go on stage. Liu Quanhai and the others led Xia Yiwei into the private box to watch.
Someone was announcing from the front, “Solo comedy performance, performer: Jesse.”
Staff moved a table forward, with props like clappers and folding fans placed on it.
Qi Shejiang was still in his usual outfit, walking steadily to the front of the stage.
They were supposed to be announcing a solo performance, but could this person really do a solo act?
He was young and handsome, with a foreign name; it seemed a bit strange for him to perform comedy.
As they exchanged whispers, they knew all about his performances on TV.
In the box, Liu Quanhai and Xia Yiwei observed the audience, who were all murmuring quietly, holding their breath as they watched Qi Shejiang; they could anticipate the difficulty for Qi Shejiang in performing comedy—it was because he was too good-looking!
Then Qi Shejiang stood still, scanned the audience, and opened his mouth to recite: “Lonely mountains move, wine brings sorrow, frost fills the night that keeps me awake. A mud man speaks of ghosts, let’s discuss these… right and wrong!”
With a crisp “bang!” the clapper hit the table, and the venue fell silent, no more clamor.
This was called a grounding poem, recited by performers of solo comedy or storytelling right after they took the stage to gather the audience’s attention, usually prefacing a few lines of poetry.
The content could be lyrical, introduce the story later, or even come with jokes, making it entertaining.
Qi Shejiang enunciated clearly, his voice melodious and resonant, yet not harsh, with a very steady stage presence; as he spoke word by word, the audience could not help but stop their chatter, slowly quieting down as Qi Shejiang finished the verse, one by one falling silent.
With a final clap of the clapper, a sharp sound pierced the silence, and the poem captivated the whole audience!
Chapter Six
From the expressions on your faces, I can tell that you find it strange—what is this person doing up here, acting like a foreign friend? Did he get the introduction wrong? Actually, he came up here to dance.” Qi Shejiang spoke at a moderate pace and articulated what the audience was thinking, causing everyone to smile in understanding.
“Alas, I didn’t want to come up either, but my mom insisted I showcase my talent.” Qi Shejiang knew that Xia Yiwei was quite famous and immediately made a joke about her, “My mom, as you all know, is gentle and beautiful. Since I was young, my family has never engaged in corporal punishment. She always uses her hands.”
He delivered a humorous punchline, and everyone was familiar with Xia Yiwei; she had just performed, and laughter erupted, mixed with some playful teasing—Xia Yiwei should still be at the tea house, right?
With Xia Yiwei as a setup and Qi Shejiang’s rhythm, what could have been a good joke became a great one.
“So, I had to come up here,” Qi Shejiang said, “otherwise, what if she clapped her hand on her own head and accused me of being unfilial?”
The audience laughed again, this time even louder, followed by a chorus of “Oh!”
Earlier, Qi Shejiang had said that Xia Yiwei didn’t believe in corporal punishment and only used her hands. With the twist, it made everyone realize: wait, that means she beats herself?!
It was an odd joke, but no one would actually think that Xia Yiwei did such a thing.
“This child…” Even Xia Yiwei herself was amused in the private booth, yet she felt somewhat sweet inside. After all, the mother-son duo had not been close for many years, and her son’s willingness to use her as the punchline felt affectionate.
Qi Shejiang first recited a fixed introductory poem that captivated the entire audience. Then, he grabbed a few jokes from his and Xia Yiwei’s lives for a test run, all done on the fly.
In the world of cross-talk, this improvisation is referred to as “live hanging,” which tests the performer’s ability to adapt in real-time.
Now that he saw the jokes landing one after another, the audience’s expressions gradually relaxed, focusing on his words rather than solely trying to capture his face on their phones, and he slowly introduced the main topic.
“…Speaking of my mom, she is the quintessential beautiful female star who loves beauty. In her life, she doesn’t allow anything unattractive. So the story I’m going to tell next has to feature a beautiful protagonist.”
Qi Shejiang smoothly transitioned from Xia Yiwei to the story.
“This story takes place not too long ago during the reign of Xianfeng. In Changzhou City, there was a scoundrel named Yang Haoshan, who is the protagonist of this story. He was orphaned, and even his relatives and neighbors didn’t care for him. When a household named Zhao on the street was robbed, he was the first one they suspected.
“Yang Haoshan, having lost his parents, had no one to support him, and within half a month of being imprisoned, he starved to death! In the past, prison conditions were poor, and the jailers were not easy to deal with.
Many prisoners who weren’t sentenced to death ended up dying in there due to cold, hunger, illness, etc.—this is called ‘starved to death.’ You tell me, was his death unjust?”
Qi Shejiang spoke with a controlled rhythm, maintaining clarity in his pronunciation and managing the pace well. While the jokes may not have packed together as densely as earlier warm-up remarks, they still captivated everyone.
“After Yang Haoshan died, he arrived at the underworld and, of course, claimed injustice. The King of Hell checked with the local city god and said that Yang Haoshan should be acquitted. Yang Haoshan replied, ‘I’m already dead; being acquitted means being set free to become a wandering ghost?’ The King of Hell reassured him, ‘Don’t worry, I’m not like that muddle-headed county official. Right now, your body is decaying at the potter’s field, but don’t fear, there are two living people whose lives have come to an end. You can borrow a body to return to life and live out the remainder of your days, and also get your grievances avenged. Choose one of the two options; which one do you want?’
“Yang Haoshan was delighted—he could choose!
The King of Hell said, ‘One is the Zhao family who falsely accused you; they have a wife at home, the other is the county official’s legitimate wife who misjudged you. So, which one do you want?'”
The audience erupted into laughter, shouting in approval.
This story, titled “Soul Switching,” tells of a scoundrel named Yang Haoshan who unjustly died in prison and then returned to life in the body of the county official’s wife. It’s a humorous tale of a man borrowing a woman’s body and the ensuing hilarious situations.
