The first time, we both lay quietly in bed. He turned around, pulling me into his embrace, my back against his chest. I was very nervous, but he laughed, gently kissing the back of my neck. “Silly girl, don’t worry. Our first time will happen on our wedding night, following the most sacred and complete sequence: getting to know each other, falling in love, waiting, the wedding, union, new life, nurturing, unity, lifelong companionship… I want to give you the best… We’ll both wait for each other, okay?” You always overwhelm me so effortlessly; I’ve knocked down my dams and built the highest tower for you with them. Sit obediently on top, don’t get hurt, don’t get tainted by the dust, okay? Just keep talking… “I just want to hold you like this now, and when I wake up, I want to see you still in my arms, every day…” I cried. He wouldn’t know because he was asleep. I carefully turned over, kissing his hairline, eyebrows, and eyes… I whispered into his ear, “Believe it or not, I really love you. You are my prince, and I only want to marry you, so you must take me away to the castle on your island. You’ll hold me and fall asleep quietly every day, I’ll give you a kiss, then lie in your arms waiting for you to wake up and see me, until the day we die, understand? Can you hear me talking in your dreams?” I prayed that the Lord would send this long sentence into his dreams when he was unhappy. But our happiness was shattered, some fragments lost forever, no matter how frantically we tried to mend it, it was dead. On the night Ke Xun graduated, he told me he was going back to his country. That night, he held me tightly; I felt his tears on my neck. He said he didn’t want to go back; he thought he could escape, but both his brothers had died, and he had to return to take over the family business, a life he didn’t want… He was in pain, I knew. It was the first time he cried in front of me, and I wanted to cry too, but I absolutely couldn’t now, it would only add to his burden. I turned around, hugging him tightly so he wouldn’t see my teary, red eyes. “Don’t be afraid, life isn’t set in stone, you can change it. Maybe you’re forced to take over the business, but you can still pursue your dreams in your spare time, right? This way, you won’t have time to stray, which isn’t bad either~ Three years from now, I’ll graduate and come find you, and then we can be like this again.” “I allow you to slack off every day to miss me, and our island and castle. I’ll wait for you to build it, for your proposal, I’ll wait forever! So, your task is quite heavy.” I tried to look at him, but he pressed me against his chest, “It’s okay, go to sleep.” In front of a woman, a man’s tears are the most restrained. I remembered a line, “Seeing you try to smile, my heart feels as damp as the rain about to come.” Looking back now, I was too naive then; reality never allows such naivety. Perhaps that night, Ke Xun had already realized this, which is why he cried.
During my five years at university, I worked hard just to graduate early. I flew to their city and stayed at Hua Hua and Ba Ba’s place, without telling him, planning a big surprise! But Hua Hua and Ba Ba were reluctant to help me find him; they were no longer carefree like before, busy with their own jobs, so I decided to find him myself. “Let me in!” I was pushed out again. “Miss, you can’t enter. First, you don’t have a membership card. Second, Mr. Li is a well-known young master; everyone knows him, and if we let every woman claiming to be here for him inside, it would disturb our guests and damage our company’s reputation. Third, your behavior is obstructing our business. Fourth…” The manager brother was still going to continue… “Stop, I understand, I won’t go in. And I suggest you don’t ramble on; it affects the guests’ mood and the company’s image.” “Oh, I’ll pay attention, thank you, Miss, for pointing it out. If you get a membership card in the future, I will warmly welcome you, offer you good discounts, and give you the best room…” “Thank you, please go in, go in…” Finally, he left -.-||| What kind of club is this… He must be inside, discussing business, right? I didn’t expect Ke Xun to be so famous; he must be working hard! How should I scare him? The manager’s voice came again, “Mr. Li, please take your time, come again soon.” He came out! “Young Master Li, do you prefer the car or the hotel tonight?” He came out flanked by women, followed by several subordinates. Was that him? How could I forget that face! “Ke Xun!” The name I had resisted shouting out so many times burst from my lips in this scene. I saw his face turn pale, “You all, leave.” “Who is she, Young Master Li?” The two women tugged at his sleeve, “I said get lost!” I saw the murderous look in his eyes as he approached, shoving me into a black sports car. I couldn’t say a word. Who was he? He smoked outside, then got in. He had learned to smoke… Who was he now? “I didn’t expect you to show up at this time.” “There are always many unexpected things in life to keep us on our toes.” Very sarcastic, “Like I didn’t expect you to be soliciting prostitutes, or that this is what you meant by inheriting the family business, the life you didn’t want?” “A lot has changed, I’ve changed, once changed, there’s no going back, it’s all gone!” He roared at me, his eyes bloodshot. “What do you mean by no going back? Have you tried? Did you even try? You didn’t, otherwise, you wouldn’t be like this…” My voice was so low even I could barely hear it, my eyes feeling like they were about to burst with pain… “You gave up, so what was the point of my efforts these two years? From the beginning, it was just me, like a fool, holding on…” “Yes! You are damn naive like a fool, thinking there could be some childish story of innocent love after growing up!” He roared at me again. Childish story? Our past? “I’m sorry, my tone was a bit harsh…” He leaned back in his seat, hand propping his head, silent for a long time. It hurt, I felt like hands were inside me, squeezing my heart hard. He couldn’t say it, I knew, so I spoke up. “We’re breaking up, aren’t we?”
