Lin Xiaole, the queen of topics, shouted, “Hey! What are you acting so high and mighty for, do you think you’re something special, ugly…” She probably wanted to call me ‘ugly girl’ again but stopped halfway, sticking out her tongue because Sheng Siwei was right there. Sheng Siwei shot her a fierce look. I smirked inwardly, I might not be beautiful, but what’s it to you? Are you beautiful? Calling others ugly doesn’t make you beautiful. Dream on. Who’s really being high and mighty here? Sheng Siwei, you bring my enemy Lin Xiaole to cause a scene under my house, forcing me to forgive you, why should I give in? You guys are just delusional. Do you think I, Xiang Xiaowu, am that easy to bully? If you dare, keep standing there or go around the neighborhood with a loudspeaker announcing that Xiang Xiaowu is an ugly girl. Do you think I care?
I said, “Leave.” As I waved my hand, I felt it hit something, but I didn’t pay much attention and turned to leave. After taking just two steps, I heard a loud ‘bang’ from downstairs, followed by Lin Xiaole’s scream. Startled, I turned around to see that one of the hanging pots on the balcony was missing.
And so, my sick leave ended, and I was back to school. Over the weekend, Xia Wei came to visit. We huddled on the couch reading manga. That day she was particularly quiet, and after a while, she looked up and said, “Xiang Xiaowu, you’ve gotten more and more ruthless. A few years ago, you hit Sheng Siwei with a stool, now you’re throwing flower pots. If Lin Xiaole hadn’t dragged him to the hospital in time, he might have died right under your balcony.” I didn’t say anything, feeling a pang of guilt. A handsome guy like him, and I left two scars on his head; I hated myself for him.
I remembered that day, he was holding his forehead, half-kneeling on the ground, blood trickling through his fingers, his clothes and the ground stained with blood, while Lin Xiaole was screaming like a banshee beside him. It was quite terrifying, and I don’t know who called the ambulance. Those two days were nerve-wracking; I felt like a murderer.
Xia Wei said, “Hey, I think Sheng Siwei is really a good guy. Even after you hit him like that, he still insists it’s not your fault.” Then she looked at me seriously, “When you get back to school, you’ll see you’ve become the talk of the town.”
On Sunday night, as usual, I had to return to school. As I got off my electric bike to enter the school gate, I saw a few people looking at me, whispering and occasionally letting out malicious chuckles. I didn’t bother with them; let them talk, I’ve been through the pain of rumors before, what more can I fear? The more you hurt, the more numb you become. Like now, I was numb. I locked my bike, hugging my books, walking step by step towards the dormitory. The camphor trees had shed their flowers, their branches offering denser shade, and the evening heat was oppressive. As I passed by room 304, I heard someone talking inside.
“Have you heard about Xiang Xiaowu from Class 11, Grade 10?” “Yeah, the one who was rumored with Gu Nanxiang, quite plain-looking.” “Plain? She’s downright ugly. Heard she’s now got rumors with Sheng Bangzhu. Apparently, Sheng Bangzhu used to like Lin Xiaole, but Xiang Xiaowu got in the way.” “No way! She’s really shameless, always doing stuff like this…” “Come on! How could Sheng Bangzhu like either of them? Ugh! One’s uglier than the other!” “Especially Xiang Xiaowu, the most disgusting. She actually got involved with our school’s two most handsome guys, what’s so great about her, being ugly is something to be proud of?” “I really feel sorry for our leader.”
My feet stopped at the door of room 304, unable to move forward, biting my lips hard, hugging my books tightly, my heart felt like it was stuffed with lead, making it hard to breathe. I kept telling myself not to cry, not to cry. Two girls walked by, glanced at me, exchanged a knowing look, and slammed the door shut. A minute later, the room was silent.
I continued forward, staggering like a marionette that had lost its strings, a puppet whose limbs were pierced by rumors, feeling nothing.
