I remember my daddy saying this to mommy, but every time daddy says it, mommy slaps him.” Baobao said seriously, and Beibei’s head sprouted several question marks: “Does that mean Beibei should also slap Baobao brother?”
Baobao shook his head: “No need, because my daddy was lying to mommy, but what I’m saying is true!”
Beibei looked touched: “Baobao brother~”
Baobao also looked deeply emotional: “Beibei little sister~”
Wuwu… Am I completely ignored? T^T
“Yin’er! How can you be with that boy again?!” King Yama’s godfather’s authoritative voice came, and we three turned around mechanically…
[Volume Two – Jianghu: Chapter Fifty-Five, Two Little Ghosts Want to Elope.]
What we saw was King Yama’s godfather wrapped in a top, wearing a flower garland around his neck, and a Hawaiian-style grass skirt. “Uh, King Yama’s godfather, weren’t you on vacation in Hawaii with godmother?” As soon as King Yama’s godfather saw me, his attitude immediately changed, and he came up with a cheerful smile: “Han’er, you’re here!”
I had bulging veins on my forehead: “Don’t make me ask twice! (╰_╯)” King Yama’s godfather quickly nodded and bowed: “Yes, yes, yes, I just went on a Hawaii vacation with the wife, and I’ll be going on an African adventure in a moment.”
Beibei just finished speaking, then turned back to whisper sweet nothings with Baobao. I had three black lines hanging over my head.
“Beibei, didn’t your dad just tell you not to play with him?”
Beibei nodded: “Yes, but Dad only said I shouldn’t play with the ‘little brat’, he didn’t say I couldn’t play with Baobao gege!”
Baobao romantically hugged Beibei and said, “Beibei, let’s elope!” Beibei looked back at Baobao, “Okay, no matter where Baobao gege goes, to the ends of the earth, Beibei will follow!”
Baobao nodded, then bit his index finger, “So where should we elope to?” Beibei exclaimed, “I know! We’ll go with Xiao Han jiejie! Both my dad and Baobao gege’s dad are scared of Xiao Han jiejie. This way, she can protect us!”
“I’m stunned. Why drag me into their elopement!” I reflexively blurted, “I want ice cream.” Baobao ran off and returned with a delicious ice cream. I snatched it and devoured it, then said, “I want an air conditioner.”
Beibei, head down, played with her fingers, “No air conditioner, but would Xiao Han jiejie like a solar-powered handheld fan?” I nodded vigorously: “Deal!” Beibei handed over a handheld electric fan.
“But let’s be clear,” I reminded them, “you two can follow me, but food, drink, and living expenses are on you.”
I don’t have extra money to support you.” The two little devils stuck out their tongues: “We know, stingy Xiao Han jiejie!” And so, the two little devils began their elopement journey.
Seeing Baobao and Beibei’s intimate behavior every day makes me itchy! Why can these two little devils be so affectionate, while I’ve never had the courage? Oh, my dear husbands lack romantic cells!
Yu Mo was about to return, and Shu Yang was coming to ‘take over’. In the true Ming Kingdom, every small street and alley was plastered with wanted posters to hunt down their escaped emperor, while their leader was sitting next to me, grimacing at the two oblivious little devils, “Han’er! Where did you get these two little brats? They’re always so intimate! It’s annoying!”
I sipped tea leisurely, “One from the sky, one from underground, one from the King of Hell’s godfather’s home, one from the Jade Emperor’s godfather’s home. If you’re unhappy, just close your eyes!”
Smack! Baobao and Beibei kissed each other’s little mouths again, gazing at each other tenderly. Yang Ziru propped her chin, extremely dissatisfied: “It’s all your fault! You sent Mo Ran away. Otherwise, it would be me and Mo Ran kissing now!” “Wow, your imagination is so rich!” I helplessly rolled my eyes.
Ever since I sent Mo Ran back to the Xiantian Hall, the foolish Zi Ru has been acting like she’s gone mad, constantly complaining that I sent “her” Mo Ran away. As the two little devils eloped, her jealousy grew even more intense. “By the way, silly Zi Ru, where do you plan to look for someone today?”
“Don’t call me silly Zi Ru!” Yang Zi Ru pouted indignantly, “I’m going to Shaolin Temple! I need to check the Eight Major Sects; at least I might get some information.” I held my fan, too lazy to look at her, “What are you going to the Eight Major Sects for?”
“By intuition!”
“Are you really that silly? Can intuition be eaten?!” I realized this girl was really simple-minded! “If you’re not going to the Eight Major Sects, are you planning to look in the bathroom for someone?!” “Can you both stop arguing and be quiet for a moment?” Yu Mo looked at us helplessly.
Sigh, knowing my own leniency, I reluctantly followed them to Shaolin Temple. This damn temple is built in such a remote place; I should have killed that person earlier! Damn these mountain paths, they’re unbearable! Wow, my feet are blistered! I squatted down, indignant: “I’m not going! You go! My feet are about to collapse!”
Yu Mo squatted in front of me, “Get on, I’ll carry you.” I happily climbed onto Yu Mo’s back. “Wow, Yu Mo’s back is so warm!” Soon after, Bei Bei spoke up, “Bao Bao gege, Bei Bei wants to be carried too!” Bao Bao immediately picked up Bei Bei. Only the silly Zi Ru was shouting from behind, “You’re biased!”
Finally climbing up, I jumped off Yu Mo’s back, looking at the large gate. Chanting echoed from the temple, and I couldn’t help but marvel: “Wow! The monks’ singing voices are amazing!” Beibei also jumped off Baobao’s back and playfully hooked her arm through Baobao’s arm: “So bald uncles like playing instruments!” Yu Mo looked exasperated.
Yang Ziru cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted: “Hey! Is anyone inside? Open the door!” “Idiot! Why make it so complicated?” I slapped open a hole in the Shaolin Temple gate. Baobao and Beibei clapped and cheered as we entered through the hole. The two gatekeeping monks broke out in a cold sweat.
The cost of the damaged gate was paid by Yu Mo, who lamented, “Great heavens! This gate is expensive!”
To explore intelligence, we stayed in Shaolin Temple for several days. When lunch was served again, I went crazy: “Lord! Can’t you let people live! This is against heaven’s reason and humanity! It’s just vegetables, radish, and thin porridge again!” I had been eating this for days. Yu Mo patted my shoulder: “Good, just make do with it.”
I poured both his portion and mine down his throat.
Yu Mo fell to the ground, foaming at the mouth. “Make do? Damn, I want meat!! Awoo~~” I howled like a wolf. The abbot wiped sweat from his forehead, “Donor, you must not kill! Buddha is merciful!” “Merciful your ancestors’ eighteen generations!” I roared.
Sniff sniff~ The smell of grilled fish! I saw Baobao and Beibei gnawing on a grilled fish, making my saliva flow. “Baobao, Beibei, I want to eat too!” I pounced over. The abbot stared wide-eyed at the fish in their mouths: “This fish… why does it look so familiar?”
“Uh, baldy, could this fish be your relative?” I asked. Baobao said: “Maybe! I caught it from the pond near Grandpa Abbot’s room!”
“That was my pet goldfish!!!” The abbot shouted. Baobao and Beibei quickly said: “Grandpa Abbot, sorry, we didn’t mean to. But since we’ve eaten it, it’s already dead, so just let us finish it!” The abbot decisively replied: “No!”
Baobao and Beibei split the fish and stuffed it into their mouths, then said: “But we’ve already swallowed it!” The abbot fainted.
I was drinking the nauseating vegetable and radish thin porridge with a painful expression when Beibei brought out a bowl of fragrant soup: “Sister Xiao Han, drink this! You’ve been eating vegetarian for so long, your mouth is bland.”
“Try this soup.”
