The situation now was: Lan holding Baby, Shu Yang holding me, I holding Beibei, and Yang Ziru standing on one leg. Due to severe overloading, the flying carpet’s speed could rival a turtle’s walk! Lan had a drop of cold sweat on his forehead and uttered two words: “So crowded.”
It was now late at night, but we were still on Baby’s ragged flying carpet, moving slowly under the moonlight. Everyone with panda eyes wailed, “When will we ever reach Wudang Sect… T^T”
Our group arrived at the Wudang Sect at ten o’clock the next morning. We rolled off the flying carpet, each of us with panda-like eyes that could put actual pandas to shame! I said, “Baby… Next time, we should get a better quality flying carpet. Ugh~” I wasn’t sick; I was just motion sick from the flying carpet!
Baby stuffed the flying carpet back into the ‘Pampers’ diaper, blurry-eyed, and then collapsed and fell asleep. The Wudang disciples found six ‘panda people’ sleeping at their gate.
When I woke up, I found myself on a hard wooden bed. I looked around and saw people practicing martial arts – some doing tai chi, others practicing sword techniques. “Oh, the rumors are true. Wudang disciples really do practice medicine.”
By the time everyone woke up, it was already dusk. The Wudang Sect was remote but beautiful during sunset. The disciples enjoyed jokes and played with Baby and Beibei after training.
However, they didn’t give special treatment to guests – we ate what they ate, which I found quite good. I would feel uncomfortable with special treatment.
The Wudang and Kongtong disciples shared one common trait: they were Taoists and ate both vegetarian and meat dishes. Shu Yang, who studied medicine, learned alchemy from the older Wudang masters while accompanying me.
Three people were inseparable: Lin, Baby, and Beibei. Baby was a loyal fan of Lin, and Beibei was Baby’s lover, so wherever Lin went, Baby and Beibei followed.
Yang Ziru was busy gathering information, which I found unproductive. Out of curiosity, I asked the head elder of the Wudang Sect, “What’s the key point of tai chi?”
“Very simple,” the old man laughed, “the key to tai chi is not to be too hasty.” I roared, “Don’t joke around when I’m being serious!”
“Cough, alright, I’ll tell you!” he said dramatically, “Actually… our sect’s kung fu cannot be passed outside.”
With his fake serious expression, I stumbled and fell, then got up and punched the old man flying. “Go die!”
” Heh, looks like my “go die” punch has improved, even sending such a martial arts master flying.
Recently, the weather was stuffy and gloomy, with the sun refusing to show its face. Perhaps due to the intensity of our travels and irregular diet, I fell ill. This was my first time getting sick in ancient times, and with primitive medical technology, I could only endure the bitterness of traditional Chinese medicine.
After a period of ordeal, I finally recovered and left the Wudang Sect.
[Volume Two, Jianghu: Chapter Sixty, Emei Sect.]
Shu Yang was to return to Chu Yue Kingdom in a few days, and I felt down again. Why does no one manage the state affairs when Shu Yang is away? Unlike Shu Yang, Yu Mo’s situation was quite different – once he stepped out for a few days, wanted posters were everywhere, and on the last day, he was dragged back to Zhen Ming Kingdom.
I thought this might be because the ministers control Yu Mo more strictly, which is why Zhen Ming Kingdom is so powerful.
One day, Bao Bao somehow ended up in Arabia; all I remember is that he disappeared the night he went down the mountain. The next day, he stole Aladdin’s magic carpet. This was the highest quality “genuine” carpet, completely different from the wobbly, low-quality rugs Bao Bao had used before. This one was obedient – when Bao Bao told it to fly high, it flew high; when he told it to go east, it absolutely wouldn’t dare go west.
Moreover, its speed could rival an airplane! Baby’s old shabby carpet was abandoned by everyone, but now he uses it to wipe his feet, so it still contributes something. Before going to Emei Sect, I visited a local gambling house and won loads of gold ingots, which collapsed the same day.
Thanks to the flying carpet Baby stole, we reached Emei Sect much faster, in less than half an hour. Just like in Jin Yong’s novels, everyone in Emei Sect was a nun! However, I was surprised to find that Emei Sect’s nuns were boy-crazy fanatics.
As soon as we arrived, a group of nuns pushed me, Stupid Ru, and Baby out. Baby was surrounded by layers of young girls, while Lin and Shu Yang faced a similar fate! Even if nuns don’t often see men, they shouldn’t be this desperate!
I got angry, rushed forward, and knocked away the nuns surrounding Shu Yang, shouting: “Roar! Anyone who dares touch my husband Shu Yang, I’ll kill them!” The remaining nuns quickly backed off. Baby, a martial arts novice, could only watch as a group of young nuns stripped him down to his underwear, while he cried, with tears almost flooding the entire Emei Sect.
Shu Yang had me protecting him, Baby had Baby protecting him, but Lin was the most miserable, being harassed daily and nearly sexually assaulted several times. Yang Zi Ru was grateful that Mo Ran didn’t come, or his chastity would have been in danger.
After two days of interaction, except for Lin, we got along quite well with Emei Sect members. However, their quirks caused me severe sleep deprivation! They drank tea all day and forced me to drink dozens of cups daily, making me nauseous at the sight of tea.
Lin didn’t dare bathe for days to avoid being watched. Under various ‘tortures’, we all investigated but found not a single clue. Lin sat on the flying carpet, frowning: “Harassed by those crazy women for nothing.” Everyone could only force a bitter smile.
Right after leaving Emei Sect, Shu Yang was taken back to Chu Yue Kingdom by Lin, for two reasons: he couldn’t neglect state affairs for too long, and the jianghu was too ‘treacherous’ after their experience with Emei Sect’s perverted women. However, just as Shu Yang left, Bao Xi arrived.
Since the First Under Heaven Hall’s branch in Zhen Ming Kingdom had opened, someone needed to host the opening ceremony. This time, only Yang Zi Ru would go to Kunlun Sect. When I explained everything to her, she unexpectedly refused to let me return!
Yang Ziru almost made us angry. She insisted, “At least give me the flying carpet and teach me how to use it.” I shouted back, “What am I supposed to do about going to Huashan Sect if you take the flying carpet?”
Baby then said, “Stupid Sister Ziru doesn’t need to be disabled! I have another flying carpet!” Yang Ziru excitedly responded, “Really?! Take it out and let me see?”
Baby pulled out an old, tattered flying carpet, pinching his nose with one hand and holding the carpet in the other. “Here! For you! I’ll give it to you!” Yang Ziru, also pinching her nose, took the flying carpet and exclaimed, “Did you use this carpet to clean the toilet? How can it be so worn and smelly?!”
Baby, still laughing, said, “Daddy taught Baby that things should be recycled to avoid polluting the environment; it’s a good way to save money!”
So Baby used it to wipe his feet! Yang Ziru waved the dirty, torn flying carpet.
A light bulb went off in Baby’s head, “Oh! I just remembered! Yesterday at Emei Sect, a dog stole the carpet I was using to wipe my feet! When I retrieved it, it was like this!”
“Damn! You still put this rag in your little pants?! Aren’t you afraid it’s dirty?!” I exclaimed.
Yang Ziru had three black lines on her forehead, “I think he’s completely brainless, losing this rag to a dog and then picking it up! Crazy!”
Baby stood with his hands on his hips: “You’re the crazy one! This is called environmental protection! Do you understand?!”
