“Hey, Lele, where are you?” Su Yiwen’s voice sounded particularly anxious over the phone. Tao Le covered her mouth to stifle a laugh before calmly replying, “I just left the hospital with my mom.” “Oh? I didn’t see you; I’m right at the hospital entrance.” Su Yiwen looked around but saw no sign of his wife. “Maybe we just missed each other; I’m already on my way back.” Hearing this, Su Yiwen felt disappointed. They had been ‘separated’ for three months, and despite having reconciled, he visited the Tao family almost daily, either for meals or to curry favor with his in-laws, all in hopes of getting his wife back home soon. However, Tao Le had become increasingly stubborn, insisting on waiting until after the baby was born to return, which for Su Yiwen was worse than the ten most brutal tortures of the Qing dynasty. He figured, after the baby was born, it would be months before she would come back, leaving him in this ‘quasi-widower’ state, which might drive him insane. “Do you have something to say?” Tao Le asked. Su Yiwen laughed awkwardly, “Dear, are you coming home today?” “I told you, after the baby is born, why are you in such a rush?” Indeed, she wasn’t in a hurry; only Su Yiwen was. Skipping work, he had sneaked out of the prosecutor’s office to catch her at the hospital, only to find she wasn’t there. “Anything else? If not, I’m hanging up.” Before Su Yiwen could respond, Tao Le had already hung up. Su Yiwen called out into the phone for a while, but there was no response; she always used delay tactics, knowing he wouldn’t dare resist. Tao Le, after hanging up, smiled slyly. She looked around at the wooden attic, the silver-gray kitchen, and the beige sofa. Although nothing had changed, having been away for just over three months, she missed this place, their home, so much. Yes, Tao Le had secretly returned; she didn’t tell Su Yiwen to surprise him.
She knew that Su Yiwen had not been having an easy time lately. Whether it was to punish him or to give herself some space to calm down, there should always be a limit. After all, she was married, and how the two of them should get along needed time to slowly prove. During these days, she had been settling her emotions, and when she realized certain feelings, she naturally chose to return, which didn’t need any reason. Tao Le looked around the house; fortunately, although Su Yi was not capable of taking care of himself, the house was still quite clean overall. She went upstairs to the bedroom, pushed the door open, and saw that the bedsheets were spotless—quite impressive, not at all the chaotic scene she had imagined. Turning around, she noticed the study door slightly ajar. Without thinking, Tao Le pushed it open and entered, only to be startled by the sight inside. It was worse than a refugee camp; clothes were casually piled on the sofa, the desk was buried under a mountain of books, reminiscent of the first time she entered his office, and the laptop was nowhere to be seen, buried under everything. The pillows and blankets on the small bed next to it were tossed about in disarray. In short, even a pigsty would be more comfortable. Tao Le rolled her eyes; she had just started to appreciate Su Yiwen’s efforts, thinking he might have improved himself while she was away, but it turned out it was all an illusion; he had just shifted his mess to the study. Tao Le angrily rolled up her sleeves and, stepping over the pile of dirty clothes as if crossing the Yellow River, made her way to the desk. “Damn it, I’m not here to clean up your mess!” she said, yet her hands didn’t stop. Unconsciously, she began to tidy the desk, planning to give Su Yiwen a good lecture when he got home about his lifestyle. She sorted the books by category, organized the documents one by one, and finally, the laptop surfaced. Tao Le was pleased with her hard work when suddenly, she caught a glimpse of something under the laptop. Curious, she pulled it out to find a black hardcover notebook. Without much thought, she opened it to see familiar handwriting. This must be Su Yiwen’s diary. Tao Le smiled faintly, surprised that this old man still kept a diary at his age. Although reading it was not moral, she decided to do it just this once; it shouldn’t matter if she didn’t tell him. She read page by page; most of them were records of his emotions, simple yet straightforward. However, —March 1, Sunny: Today, three years later, I met her again at B University, but she still doesn’t remember who I am. I admit I was really disappointed at that moment… March 16, Overcast: After a night of turmoil from the police station to the hospital, both she and I were exhausted. Although the robbery was unexpected, she got hurt because of it. I think only she can make me feel this heartache… April 9, Sunny: I just arrived in Yunnan suddenly and didn’t have time to tell her. She must be very angry now because I couldn’t accompany her to the hospital for her dressing change. I hope I can explain when I return. April 10, Cloudy: I admit I’m not a romantic person, so I went to the Sino-Burmese border, thinking only of bringing back some soil for her. What’s most important is having our feet on the ground! April 13, Overcast: I rushed back because of the photos, worried that she might do something impulsive. I was angry, and for the first time, I raised my voice at her. Now, reflecting on it, I really regret it. Thinking calmly, the reason for my anger wasn’t her immaturity but seeing her with Han Xu… April 24, Sunny: The postgraduate entrance exam is over, and she performed excellently, just as I expected. But she doesn’t know that I arranged those exam questions for her. Just like now, as I revise this thesis for her, I finally understand why I get so angry when she’s with someone else—it’s because I’ve never forgotten her these three years… June 16, Sunny: Today is her graduation day. She said goodbye to me, but I really wanted to tell her we’d meet again in half a month. I’m looking forward to seeing her then. July 2, Sunny: We’ve become colleagues. Perhaps this isn’t good news for her, but for me, it means I can see her every day. I’m so eager for tomorrow to come. July 13, Overcast: We’ve become neighbors. Slowly, I believe she will accept me. July 25, Cloudy: I was away in Beijing for just a week, and I came back to the bad news of her being taken to the police station. Le Le, when will you grow up and stop worrying me? August 1, Sunny: I know she had dinner with Han Xu tonight. Even though I know nothing will happen, I just feel uncomfortable, which led me to do something so impulsive. Le Le, I’m sorry, can you forgive me? August 3, Sunny: She hasn’t spoken to me. Out of anger, I agreed to go on a blind date with Prosecutor Xu’s daughter. I don’t even know why I did that… August 8, Sunny: Perhaps I should be grateful for agreeing to the blind date with Xu Ling; otherwise, I wouldn’t have seen her so angry and her telling the truth. This time, she won’t leave me again… Tao Le continued flipping through the diary, her eyes growing redder. She had no idea he had always remembered their little moments and his feelings. November 11, Sunny: Today is the most memorable day for both of us. We got married! Thinking about how I almost caused her miscarriage because of Lizhi’s misunderstanding, I really hate myself. Now that we finally have our own home, I must make her happy! November 29, Rain: Work at the Anti-Corruption Bureau is increasing, and the year-end tasks are pressing. Although I’m tired, knowing she’s by my side makes me content… December 4, Overcast: The Flower in the Flower case has been decided. I don’t want to tell her, afraid she’ll get angry because of these matters. Sorry, wife, once the case is solved, you can punish me however you want. December 15, Overcast: I know she’s starting to suspect, as many things are happening, and she no longer trusts me as she used to. I don’t know how to explain… January 5, Cloudy: The case is solved, everything is over. And she left this home, just like she said, maybe I really am not a good husband. Wife, I’m sorry… Each subsequent page recorded his guilt and longing. Tao Le’s vision had long since blurred; there were so many things she didn’t know, and she hadn’t understood him. Perhaps from the beginning to the end, she was the one who was most unqualified, from being his girlfriend to his wife, she hadn’t treated him well. Flipping to the last page, dated yesterday: Le Le, when will you come back?
If I could, I would wish for us to start over, and I would never let you be this heartbroken. Although I’m not good at sweet talk, you are the only one for me in this lifetime, so no matter how long it takes, I will wait. Because I love you… Taole closed the notebook, her lips curling into a smile filled with satisfaction and happiness. Without hesitation, she reached into her pocket, took out her phone, and dialed the familiar number. The man’s deep voice came through the phone. She smiled, looking at the photo of the two of them on the table, and finally spoke. “Honey… I’m back.”
(End of the story)
