This bold act was celebrated by the people of Yan Feng, who praised me as the first woman in Qi’s history to pursue a husband. I resolved to go all out, embodying a bold and thick-skinned approach, and personally brought back the betrothal gifts.
My mother and sister looked at me as if I were a savior. My father sighed, walked into the study, and burned a copy of “Female Admonitions.” My older brother held my hand, saying, “Sister, I understand.”
In fact, I didn’t understand myself.
When I sat on the wedding bed after the three bows and nine kowtows, I couldn’t understand how I had ended up selling myself when I had originally come to confront him.
When An Jin lifted the veil, the captivating sight of him in red made everything clear. Since ancient times, even heroes have fallen for beauty, let alone me.
Though I understood, I couldn’t accept it. I had hurt his heart before, and using such methods to disrupt my family was despicable. After drinking the wedding wine with An Jin, I gave him a cold look, unwilling to consummate the marriage.
To my surprise, he ignored my expression. After downing the wedding wine, he blushed and began to undress me. I didn’t want to submit, but we had performed the rites and drunk the wine. Refusing now would seem overly dramatic. I struggled briefly before being laid on the bed and stripped bare, left with only a single hairpin.
I have no principles, yet I still hold some fantasies and expectations. I want to see if his body is still as white and tender as it was when he was eight years old, like a freshly steamed fine flour bun.
However, even a fine flour bun can become a torturous weapon. By the time the sharp pain arrived, it was already too late to regret. I screamed and pushed him, tears streaming down my face. He refused to retreat, covered in sweat, and gasped, “Actually, I’m in pain too. Just bear with it.”
I never believed this. If both parties are in pain, why continue this? It was obviously a lie to cover up his enjoyment of my suffering. The most despicable part was after everything ended; he stared bitterly at the blood on the bed, as if it were his own.
