He had a knot in his heart, one I had tied myself. When I tied it, I never thought this knot would become my own problem.
After I turned thirteen, I began painting beauties for the Shai Yue Studio, and it became my career. From thirteen to fifteen, I painted countless famous beauties, both male and female, from respectable families and pleasure quarters, some I sought to paint, others who invited me.
Behind these beauties were numerous pursuers. Most maintained an aloof appearance on the surface but moved freely among these admirers, enjoying fleeting romances.
And these pursuers were mostly like wandering bees and butterflies, often chasing multiple targets.
I had seen too many examples of those who declared eternal love to one person yesterday but were sending flirtatious glances to another today. Faces that seemed passionate one moment turned cold the next. Gradually, I became somewhat detached about love and romance. My adolescent years had transformed me into a stubborn, unromantic person.
With no illusions about love, I viewed marriage practically. Although I earned some money from painting, it barely covered our family’s basic expenses. I had responsibilities—my older brother needed to marry, my younger sister required a dowry, and I had to help my mother repay gambling debts. At fifteen, I decided to marry into a wealthy family to support my family in the future.
Around this time, eighteen-year-old An Jin, blushing, brought a package of sugar cakes to confess, asking if I would marry him.
At that moment, An Jin had not yet become a Ministry of Personnel official and hadn’t even taken the exam. The An family relied on some inherited property and income from their book studio, making them no better off than my family. After seriously considering it for a day, I returned the sugar cakes and told him I preferred to marry a rich man.
An Jin’s face turned pale as he stood blankly on the small path between our families. I felt guilty. If I had known he was waiting to marry me, I would have discouraged him sooner. So, I comforted him, “With your looks, you’ll find a lady from a good family. Don’t waste time on me.”
