As fireworks blazed, memories of a stormy night and cherry blossoms filled my mind. My reason burned to ashes. I arched my body in pleasure, having long since ended our whirlpool of sinking together. He was reluctant to leave me, saying I was warm.
I managed a forced smile. “Then don’t leave.” He brushed my hair away, and I traced the sweat on his forehead and the contours of his face. I knew this was our last night; it wasn’t as ethereal as I imagined, but it was enough. This beautiful first love ends here, and I ask for nothing more. After resting, he kissed me again, and my body gradually swelled.
I moved my body slightly, feeling quickly filled with no way to escape. I closed my eyes in resignation. Ah! Let him do what he wants, however many times; anyway, this is the last night.
Early the next morning, I opened the curtains. Ye Zhengchen, sleeping, reached out to cover his eyes and woke up. “So early?” he asked.
“I’m going to Kobe today,” I replied.
“To Kobe?” he sat up.
“Didn’t I tell you I have a classmate at Kobe University who invited me to play…”
“I’ll accompany you.”
“I’ll stay at her place tonight and return tomorrow.” I indeed had a classmate at Kobe University whom Ye Zhengchen had met.
He hesitated. “I have a report to submit tomorrow.”
“A gathering between women; it wouldn’t be appropriate for you to come.”
Seeing I would not let him accompany me, he stopped insisting. After breakfast, I changed into sportswear, put on sports shoes, and carried a backpack, including a large bottle of water. Before leaving, Ye Zhengchen helped me put on a sun hat, laughing and patting my head. “Come back early.”
“Okay!”
I walked a few steps, then ran back and stood on tiptoe to kiss his lips, reluctant to leave his soft taste.
After dusk, night fell. I tilted my head back, looking at the pure white magnolia flowers overhead, clustered and beautiful.
Whenever I heard a car approach and then recede, I would stand on tiptoe and peek over the one-person-high wall, looking toward the small building at the other street corner. Ye Zhengchen never came, not once.
I took a sip from the remaining half bottle of water, secretly hoping I had guessed wrong. Perhaps everything was not as I thought… I even planned to leave and cook a bowl of dan dan noodles for Ye Zhengchen.
A slight brake sound interrupted my thoughts. I peered out; Ye Zhengchen’s car had stopped at the street corner. I watched as he stepped out, holding a key, and walked to the door, inserting it into the keyhole.
The lock turned, and he opened the door. I couldn’t hear anything; Yu Yin must have heard the wind chimes clearly, standing at the door with a coquettish smile. Ye Zhengchen glanced at her and walked past her into the house, as naturally as if entering his own home.
I checked my watch in the pale moonlight. It was ten o’clock—a man coming to a woman’s home at that hour. What would happen was obvious. Guessing and suspecting was one thing, but the reality laid bare before my eyes was another.
In that moment, I bit my hand hard, tears falling in clusters. I hated myself a bit. Why didn’t I go to Kobe? Why did I have to wait here and see the truth I already knew? Now that I’ve seen it, it serves no purpose except to make myself hurt more.
I stood under the tree, the magnolia flowers swaying in the wind. I remembered many things: when Yu Yin first went to the convenience store, her light laugh, and when she met Ye Zhengchen there with a polite handshake. I recalled that night when Yu Yin drove toward me; she had probably seen me clearly. I also remembered her cold fingers holding my hand, saying she sometimes envied me.
Two months ago, her boyfriend had found new love, using busyness as an excuse to have trysts, living a carefree life. And I was still foolishly becoming friends with his lover, helping her choose men’s underwear. After crying my tears dry, I started to laugh, almost dying from my own laughter. The most ridiculous thing was that I actually thought Ye Zhengchen would marry me, that he would still hold my hand when our hair turned gray and travel the world together. Yet I believed in his undying love for me.
Ha! Ha!
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Yu Yin’s smile deepened: “Didn’t you say she loves you, trusts you, and will follow you wholeheartedly? What are you afraid of?”
Ye Zhengchen replied, “I warn you, don’t do anything to hurt her.”
A chill swept over my back. My legs trembled, and I felt weak, suddenly realizing I hadn’t eaten since noon.
“I want to understand the meaning of your words,” I said, trying to stand firm.
“Are you afraid I’ll hurt her, or that she’ll leave you?” Yu Yin asked as she walked closer to Ye Zhengchen. “I approached her with no other purpose. I just wanted to know what kind of girl she is. Now I know she’s lovely—smart, kind, naive… and most importantly, what I believe you like most: she’s upright and knows how to respect herself.”
Ye Zhengchen interrupted coldly. “What do you want?”
“I’ll bet you,” Yu Yin said flatly. “If she knows about our relationship, she will definitely leave you!”
I didn’t understand; I couldn’t comprehend what they were saying. Their exchange was sharp and confrontational.
In the dark night, I couldn’t see Ye Zhengchen’s expression, but I sensed a terrifying momentum: “Are you threatening me?!”
Yu Yin shook her head, her tone almost pleading. “I just want you to stay and accompany me…”
This sentence made my ears buzz.
Ye Zhengchen looked at Yu Yin for a long time, ultimately not getting into the car. He slammed the car door shut, and I could no longer support myself; my legs went limp, and I collapsed to the ground.
Ye Zhengchen was startled by the sound and looked in my direction. I looked back at him. Though only a few meters apart, I felt he was unreachable.
I supported myself against a nearby tree and stood up, slowly walking along the street, not knowing where I was going. My only thought was to keep walking to a place where he no longer existed.
He quickly caught up and hugged me from behind. I turned angrily, forcefully pushing him away, continuously retreating. “Don’t touch me!”
I shouted loudly, hugging my trembling body and moving backward. Behind me was a beautiful garden, but it felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, with a thousand-foot precipice behind me. One more step back would shatter me completely.
“Darling,” Ye Zhengchen caught my wrist. “Let me explain, there’s nothing between me and Yu Yin…”
Yu Yin laughed, “Ye Zhengchen, are you still trying to deceive her?”
“Shut up!” Ye Zhengchen nervously gripped my wrists, as if afraid I would escape. Yu Yin fell silent, and I could hear her mocking laughter: Fine, then continue deceiving this silly girl!
I tried to leave, but Ye Zhengchen still held me tightly. I completely broke down, desperately hitting him with my remaining strength—hitting, kicking, scratching, biting. Ye Zhengchen didn’t dodge, holding my wrist, letting me vent. My gaze passed through his silence to Yu Yin, who silently observed us. I couldn’t discern any emotion on her face.
I suddenly felt afraid, terribly afraid, because she seemed neither surprised nor panicked. She had been waiting from the beginning, waiting for everything to unfold.
I forgot to cry, staring at her exquisite face, wanting to see the world behind her mask.
Seeing me calm down, Ye Zhengchen asked, “Do you believe me?” My dried-up tears started flowing again.
“How can I believe you? If I hadn’t discovered this today, how long were you planning to deceive me… three months, three years, or a lifetime?”
