“I’m busy, no time.” His tone was terrible, and he hung up immediately.
I didn’t know who called.
At noon, Yu Yin came—not to my home, but to Ye Zhengchen’s. Through the poorly soundproofed wall, I heard her voice. She said she bought Sichuan hot pot seasoning, Kobe beef, and imported lamb. What a warm moment for them!
Even through a wall, I felt superfluous. I laughed, got up, dressed, and went out.
I wandered through Carrefour, a cosmetics store, a sports store… My feet grew soft from exhaustion, and it was only six in the evening. So, I went to an izakaya to drink.
People who are heartbroken always drink, showing that alcohol can numb pain. I wanted to try and see if it would work. The effect was good.
After drinking a bottle of sweet and sour plum wine, my mood improved significantly. I laughed uncontrollably while thinking about Ye Zhengchen and Yu Yin enjoying hot pot at home.
Wondering if Yu Yin would stay over that night felt absurd. I ordered another bottle and laughed at the thought, finding it increasingly amusing.
By nine in the evening, having finished two bottles, I was dizzy and unsteady on my feet as I headed home.
Passing Ye Zhengchen’s door, I glanced through the window and saw shadows of two overlapping figures behind the pale green curtains. It looked like a harmonious scene, unlike anything I’d seen before.
I finally reached my door but couldn’t find my key after searching my bag for what felt like an eternity. Frustrated, I dumped everything on the ground, kneeling to search until I found it. Just as I was about to open the door, Ye Zhengchen emerged from the neighboring unit, looking at me.
I hastily pretended to pick up my things, knowing it was childish but feeling too drunk to care.
“You’ve been drinking?” he asked, his tone gloomy and hinting at suppressed anger.
I looked up, wanting to see his expression clearly, but everything was too blurry. Rubbing my eyes, I felt droplets of liquid come out.
Then, I tried to open the door, but the key shook in my hand, failing to insert into the keyhole several times. The more anxious I became, the harder it was.
Suddenly, he snatched the key from my hand and opened the door.
“Thank…”
Before I could finish, he pushed me inside and locked the door.
“Sweetheart…”
The room was dark, his voice passionately resonating. Even my heart, numbed by alcohol, felt a strong sensation.
I leaned against the wall, shrinking into the corner, pressing my knees against my chest.
There was a sentence I would never say if I weren’t drunk. But I was, and I rambled, “Senior brother, I beg you, don’t let her stay here tonight… I can’t bear it… It hurts so much…”
I finally reacted, shaking my head and begging him in a lower voice, “No, Ru Yin is next door, your wife is next door…”
He paused for a moment.
Seizing the opportunity to break free, I stood up, but he grabbed my leg, tearing off my skirt and ripping my stockings.
“Ye Zhengchen!” With my clothes torn and unable to block his exploring hands, I trembled with anger.
“Do you know what you’re doing?”
He answered decisively, “I don’t know!”
With his legal wife right next door, he ran to my room and pinned me to the ground—this was the Ye Zhengchen I knew.
His imposing physique, sword-like eyebrows, and determined gaze radiated an unparalleled arrogance. The pressure weighed heavily on me, almost crushing my spine. I bit my lower lip, swallowing my cry for help, and fixed my eyes on the wall as a faint taste of blood seeped between my teeth.
Moments before, I had a trace of soft attachment to him. Now, only hate remained, etched into my bones.
He raised my left hand, revealing our synchronized black and white watches, each second hand’s jump piercing my fragile self-esteem.
What I wanted most was to be with him, a right that only Yu Yin possessed.
“Stay by my side,” he embraced me, holding me intimately. “Don’t consider anyone else, just be happy yourself!”
His attitude resembled a man keeping a mistress in a TV drama. Most frustratingly, he reached toward my chest again, teasing that sensitive area.
I curled up in the blanket at the end of the bed, and he followed, rubbing his nose behind my ear. “Darling, I miss you too… Let’s stop tormenting each other.”
Scattered clothes lay among the bedding.
Once there’s a first compromise, there will be a second, becoming accustomed and forgetting dignity.
Every mistress starts fierce but eventually surrenders to intense desires.
I was about to surrender.
Just as my self-esteem and moral defenses wavered, I recalled a scene in the hospital: Yu Yin smoothing her skirt while Ye Zhengchen lay quietly watching.
I sat embarrassed, holding a thermos cup.
With blood mixed with alcohol rushing to my head, I suddenly pushed him away and rushed to the kitchen for a sharp knife. “Leave! If you don’t, I’ll kill you!”
He glanced at the knife. “You can’t even hold it steady. Could you kill?”
“Don’t push me.”
“I don’t believe you’ll kill me.”
He approached, my knife retreating inch by inch, laughing. “You can’t bear to.”
I gripped the knife handle tightly as he pressed closer, knowing my love for him made it hard to hurt him.
My knife retreated until there was nowhere else to go. I steeled my heart, turning the knife point toward myself.
“If you don’t leave, I…”
He saw the knife point less than a millimeter from my neck, and his expression changed. “Stop playing.”
“I…”
As I started to speak, my wrist was suddenly gripped firmly. His movement was extremely fast.
“I know you hate me; I’ve pushed you to a dead end.” He wrapped my hand with his other hand, the knife pressed against his heart. “Stab me. Will it make you feel better?”
I thought he was just talking, but unexpectedly…
He guided my hand to stab. Blood seeped from the knife’s edge.
“No!”
I pulled back my hand, the knife clattering to the ground.
I panicked, grabbing the medical kit and tearing the gauze roll messily. Completely forgetting the first aid methods I’d learned, I pressed a bundle of gauze on his wound, feeling his heavy heartbeat beneath my palm. A sharp pain spread from my hand throughout my body; that stab might as well have been in me.
“Do you still hate me?” he asked.
I shook my head. “You know I can’t bear to see you hurt…”
“Give me one more chance, wait for me three years…”
Blood soaked through the gauze, hot and bright red.
The next day, I forced myself to get up, shower, and pack my things. Just as I was about to go to school, I received a call from Yin Zhongtian.
I remembered when I first came to Japan, Yin Zhongtian would often call me or leave messages online. Since I mentioned having a boyfriend, he had never contacted me actively. I was surprised when he suddenly called, hesitated, and answered the phone.
“Hi!” I said, unsure of what else to say.
“Xiao Bing,” his voice was serious. “Are you busy in Japan?”
“Not bad, quite busy recently.”
“Can you come back home for a trip?”
This request seemed abrupt. Yin Zhongtian had always been cautious, so his sudden request must have a reason.
“What happened?” I asked urgently.
“Uncle Bao… just finished surgery…”
I felt my blood freeze, falling onto the bed. Whenever I called home recently, my parents’ voices were calm, and they would quickly hang up.
“What illness did he have?” I pressed.
He was silent for a moment. “Come back, and I’ll tell you.”
If it were a normal illness, my parents wouldn’t have hidden it from me, and Yin Zhongtian wouldn’t urge my return.
“Is there a life-threatening risk?” I kept repeating: No, no, definitely not.
“The surgery was successful; the doctor said… temporarily, no.”
Yin Zhongtian’s “temporarily no” felt like a death knell. “I’ll buy a ticket right now.”
