This “sorry” felt pitiful and ridiculous.
He became anxious, promising, “Give me some time, I can handle this matter.”
” How long? Three years? Is it worth waiting three years for a man with a fiancée? Looking at the person before me, for another man, of course not. But for him, perhaps. I ran into the bathroom, turning the cold water to maximum, desperately washing my face to calm myself. His things were neatly arranged on the right side of the sink. Seeing them, I kept washing my face. I saw him in the mirror, standing behind me, seemingly with countless words he wanted to say but couldn’t. “Get out!” I gathered his things, turning to throw them at him. “Take your things and get out!” He stood motionless, and the items crashed to the floor with dull thuds. “I don’t want to see you again,” I said. “You never loved me,” Ye Zhengchen stated flatly, his voice drifting like it was from far away. He left, gently locking my door. His desolate back was etched on my heart again. Water from the faucet kept flowing, overflowing the sink, spreading on the floor. I squatted down, picking up the water-soaked toothbrush, towel, and broken glass, throwing them in the trash. I hoped the water could flood over me, submerge my heartbeat, so my heart would stop thinking of him. From that day, I never saw Ye Zhengchen again. He seemed to quietly disappear from my life, or perhaps never existed. “
I continued attending classes, reading materials, and nurturing my bacteria. Regardless of the holiday, I focused entirely on my studies, taking notes and dedicating myself to my work in the lab.
I carefully read the summary Ye Zhengchen wrote for me, exploring his annotations and marking every key point. Each exclamation mark he used represented a crucial insight.
As the time for cultivating bacteria reached critical days, I moved my bedding into the lab, checking on them every three hours while in protective gear. One early morning, the associate professor found me packing up my bedding. When I explained that I was cultivating bacteria and needed constant attention, his attitude shifted; he became more friendly and even told me, somewhat insincerely, to take care of myself. I replied, “Thank you!”
After extended time in Japan, I noticed a growing sense of insincerity in everyone, including myself.
