I laughed and chatted with friends, pulling Lingling to go shopping, portraying an image of doing well. Yet, in solitude, I often lay in bed, wrapped in a cold blanket, reminiscing about Ye Zhengchen and moments we shared. During periods of insomnia, I would stare at the wall covered in the character “zheng,” slowly counting each stroke in the darkness.
Sometimes, a song would drift from next door, the melodious “Heavenly Fragrance.”
I bit the back of my hand and silently shed tears, not wanting the neighbors to hear me cry. I cooked a full pot of noodles, intending to bring some to him, but then held back.
I called Qin Xue, who said she had eaten, and Lingling, who said she was busy in the lab. So I ate alone, finishing all the noodles.
When Lingling came back, I had just finished eating and smiled at her with reddened eyes. She sighed deeply.
I falsely said, “I’m fine.”
“Did you and Ye Zhengchen have a fight?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Not a fight, a breakup.”
She laughed teasingly. “Broken up again?”
“Lingling…” I looked at her seriously. “If your loved one suddenly had an unexpected fiancée, what would you do?”
Lingling stopped laughing and walked to the balcony, looking at the cherry blossom forest, now only green leaves remaining.
“I…” she said, her eyes filled with sorrow. “As long as he doesn’t let go, I’ll wait for him, no matter how long…”
She softly added, “Some people, once you’ve loved them, you can’t love anyone else again… If you truly love someone, why give them up to another woman? So what if she’s his fiancée? They’re not even married yet!”
After Lingling left, I stood on the balcony, sleepless all night.
Some people, once you’ve loved them, you can’t love anyone else again. Three years isn’t that long compared to a lifetime.
