“Is that so?” Yun Mei lay back down, wondering why he had fallen asleep so suddenly.

Dao’er stirred the charcoal fire, producing a soft crackling sound. “If Young Master is tired, you can rest early.”

“Dao’er, you go to sleep. It’s late autumn now, so you should rest well.”

“Dao’er is not tired and will stay with Young Master a while longer.”

Yun Mei casually responded with a “hmm,” the warm bottle providing brief warmth. He closed his eyes, unable to sleep, and turned to look at the man warming himself by the charcoal brazier. “Dao’er, do you think the Mistress will marry Xu Gongzi?”

Dao’er was taken aback, “Why does Young Master suddenly mention this?”

Did he say something to you today? Please don’t listen to him. The Master has always been devoted to Young Master and even called off an engagement for your sake.”

Yun Mei lowered his eyes. “He didn’t say anything. I’m just overthinking.”

“Young Master?” Dao’er looked worried.

“I’m fine,” Yun Mei smiled faintly, then fell silent. After a while, he sighed, “If only I were him. If I were Xu Yi, things wouldn’t be like this. I could be with the one I loved.”

Meeting Dao’er’s concerned gaze, Yun Mei forced a smile. “Is the Mistress busy today?”

“I’m not sure, but I heard she was in the account room checking ledgers all morning, didn’t eat lunch, and only went out in the afternoon,” Dao’er answered carefully.

“When did she return? Did she have dinner?” After asking, Yun Mei was surprised at himself for paying attention to her. In their two-year marriage, they had been indifferent to each other.

“Young Master?” Dao’er looked helpless, not knowing when the Mistress had returned.

The silence stretched on. Eventually, Yun Mei felt increasingly uneasy and got up to put on a warm coat. “Dao’er, I’m going to the Mistress’s room. Prepare some refreshments.”

Dao’er was incredulous, “Young Master, now?”

“Yes, now,” Yun Mei decided. “I’ll go alone. Stay here.”

“No, Young Master. I’ll accompany you.”

“No,” Yun Mei’s face reddened, seeming slightly embarrassed.

He dressed carefully, tidied his hair to one side, and was about to leave when Dao’er called out, “Young Master, take this so you don’t get cold.” Dao’er handed him a warm bottle and draped a cloak over him before he departed.

After Yun Mei left, Dao’er stirred the calming grass in the incense burner, anxiously sitting by the charcoal brazier. The Young Master seemed very different today, and he hoped nothing would go wrong.

Yun Mei carried a red lantern towards Jin Yu’s room. The cold wind blew, making the candlelight flicker.

The wind lifted a few strands of his hair, brushing against his face. He pulled his cloak tighter and continued forward.

Along the way, few servants were present. They bowed and continued their duties. Those on patrol kept patrolling, and those returning to their rooms did so without lingering. They didn’t quite like the Cloud Zheng Husband but plastered smiles on their faces, knowing he was beloved by their Mistress, despite being neglected for two years. They believed the Mistress still loved him and was merely angry.

Yun Mei was aware of their superficial flattery and hidden mockery. Though uncomfortable, he had no reason to complain. For the past two years, he had rarely gone out, wanting to avoid being pointed at and ridiculed.

Standing in Jingyu’s room, Yunmei lit the red candles, brightening the space. He walked around with a lantern, reflecting on the years since he last entered.

He had expected Jinmo to be a literary scholar, but he was surprised by the elegance of his wife’s room, which was delicate and free from vulgarity. On the yellow pear wood table lay a sheet of xuan paper and several brushes on the inkstone.

Approaching with the lantern, Yunmei noticed the topmost drawing—a man who wasn’t exceptionally handsome but had a comfortable presence. His eyes, slightly lowered, still revealed a hint of spirit, and he held his clothing belt shyly, appearing uneasy.

As Yunmei crouched down, the lantern fell and caught fire. He hesitated to extinguish it, instead hugging himself, his gaze fixed on the flames. Unknowingly, a few cold tears rolled down his cheeks, the candlelight flickering desolately across his face.

He realized he might have lost everything, including his wife. If he hadn’t cared deeply, how could he have captured such spirit in the painting that even made him feel inferior?

He came here thinking that if his wife wanted him, he would not refuse. Now, he realized she had lost interest in him, even physically.

For two years, he had believed his wife’s anger was temporary. Now he understood she neglected him out of indifference, only staying in the marriage out of slight sympathy.

As night deepened, the lantern’s fire gradually extinguished, leaving only a distant red candle flickering dimly.

Yunmei sat quietly in the candlelight for a long time before blowing it out and curling up in the bedding, feeling cold and forgotten.

He truly had nothing left.

#

When Xu Yi returned home, his family gathered for a meal fell silent. Some watched him and Hua Yan as spectators. Xu Yi, afraid, bowed his head and said, “I’ll return to my room.”

As they left, his family’s mockery lingered. A man remarked mockingly, “Mother, now you believe little brother went out to see Miss Jing, right? We told you so.”

Xu Yi stiffened, gripping his handkerchief tightly, tears welling in his eyes as panic threatened to consume him.

How did they know he went to find that person? Would he be expelled from the Xu family again? If cast out, she might want him even less. What should he do now?

Xu Yi lowered his head, his voice hoarse and choked, “What does Mother want to say to her child?” He was obedient yet cautious.

Mother Xu looked at him and sighed, “Perhaps I should not have let you marry into the Jin family.” Initially, the eldest son was supposed to marry into the Jin family, but after finding Xu Yi, they allowed him to replace the eldest son as a form of compensation for his hardships. At that time, the Jin family was furious, accusing them of insulting their family by marrying into someone with an impure background. For Xu Yi’s sake, she had endured the Jin family’s pressure, unaware that it would almost ruin his life.

Xu Yi looked up in panic, “No, I am happy to marry into the Jin family.” If it weren’t for the chance to see her, he would not have returned to the Xu family when Mother sent someone to fetch him. Over the years, to gain some status to see her, he had endured humiliation in the Xu family, living carefully and never resisting, fearing that he would be driven out and that she would dislike him even more.

After Mother Xu ordered Hua Yan to leave, she said to Xu Yi, “I have instructed them not to spread today’s matter. You are not to secretly see her anymore. Prepare yourself to get married.”

“No, I don’t want to get married. Mother, I will not marry anyone but her. Please don’t marry me off to someone else.” Xu Yi shook his head urgently, pleading.

“You don’t need to worry about Boss Miao. I have already spoken to her about your situation.” Mother Xu looked at him with heartache, “She even knows about your miscarriage.”

Xu Yi froze, panic rising in his heart. “Mother, I…”

Mother Xu wiped his tear-stained face, feeling distressed. “You must have been scared when you found out you were pregnant. Did you think no one would know if you didn’t say anything?” Fortunately, it was concealed in time, and almost no one knew.

Xu Yi lowered his head, his eyes reddening again, his hand covering his belly. He had felt scared and happy at first, but later, when he miscarried, he was very sad. How could the child suddenly be gone?

Tears flowed again as he thought about it.