Matriarchal Desires

Although a child conceived this way might not be as good as a normal pregnancy, if they wanted a child, this was their only option. When she was gone, there would at least be someone to accompany Su Xi. Whether the child resembled her was no longer important, as long as he and the child could be safe and happy.

Su Xi suddenly hugged Jin Yu, grabbing the bedding on both sides. He rarely took the initiative like this, but he was truly touched. Happiness filled his heart at the thought of marrying her and potentially becoming a parent.

Jin Yu thought Su Xi had agreed and kissed his red lips. Su Xi slightly turned his head, causing her to miss. Confused, she asked why he refused.

Su Xi fell silent. He was just a hidden prostitute. Her frequent visits had already damaged her reputation. He couldn’t burden her further. Though she had never voiced any concerns, he had heard the unpleasant rumors. Even with pregnancy, he felt he couldn’t enter the Jin family’s door. Moreover, he didn’t want her to know he was pregnant through fertility medicine, fearing she might misunderstand.

Su Xi lowered his eyes. Even if someone treated him well, he couldn’t marry again.

He just hoped for a little warmth.

“But, but……”

“But what?” Jinyu slightly furrowed her brow. Did he really only see her as a benefactor who had saved them?

“But two years have passed, and I haven’t been pregnant. Don’t you think……” Suxi couldn’t continue. Two years without pregnancy made her fear what might happen if he became pregnant through fertility medicine. She might get angry and never come back.

Jinyu’s body stiffened. Suxi had not been pregnant, possibly due to her own condition. Jinyu kissed Suxi deeply, until her face was flushed and eyes misty, then lay on his heaving chest, gasping, “As long as we can have a child, can you accept one conceived through fertility medicine?” Who doesn’t hope their child will grow up to be exceptional? If he couldn’t accept it, she wouldn’t force him; she didn’t want her child to be at a disadvantage.

A sudden fear surged in Suxi’s heart, more uneasy than ever. Tears welled up and rolled down. Did she know? Did she know he had taken fertility medicine and become pregnant?

Jinyu reached out to wipe away his cold tears, feeling disappointed, “If you can’t accept it, then forget it.”

I won’t force you. Don’t feel wronged.”

“I’m not wronged,” Suxi’s voice choked, “If my child was conceived through fertility medicine, will you dislike the child?” She feared that if she were to be disliked, he would hide the child away to protect it from her contempt.

Jinyu suddenly felt hope. She embraced Suxi, and as their bodies moved together, Suxi moaned softly. Jinyu kissed Suxi’s neck, sometimes licking and biting, before drawing closer to her lips. Suxi slightly opened her red lips, allowing Jinyu’s tongue to intertwine with hers.

“I’ll send someone to get some fertility medicine tomorrow. Will you take some every day?” Jinyu asked.

Suxi gasped, “Okay, after the child is born, treat the child well… don’t dislike… hmm…”

Jinyu kissed her lips again, “Our child… will be well-treated…” Her lips moved down to Suxi’s chest, sucking and biting tenderly.

Suxi arched her head, gasping, her hand covering her belly, afraid Jinyu’s movements might harm the baby. Her body flushed pink with desire, scattered hair spread across the bed, revealing traces of redness on her tender skin.

Jin Yu thought the days would continue to be peaceful until Jin Mo returned before the New Year, stirring up entanglements involving Yun Mei and Xu Yi. However, one noon, the housekeeper arrived, looking hesitant. Jin Yu, who never had a fondness for her, acknowledged her work ability.

“Young Master, Xu Gongzi’s personal attendant Hua Yan has come,” the housekeeper mentioned, still hoping for Xu Gongzi’s acceptance into the Jin family.

Jin Yu was stunned upon returning to the mansion. Over a month had passed since Xu Yi left, and while rumors had circulated, they were just beginning to subside. She had worried somewhat about Xu Yi but hadn’t focused on it much.

Initially, Jin Yu planned to reject the visit, yet recalling her time with Xu Yi, she felt something was amiss and decided to meet him.

Jin Yu sat in the carriage, the wheels rolling gently. Her thoughts drifted far away, with the outside shouts mingling with the wind, unheard.

Jin Yu sat quietly in the carriage, swaying gently. She seemed to hear Xu Yi’s fragile voice again, pleading with unconditional love and a willingness to wait.

Lowering her eyes, she lifted the carriage curtain to look outside. It was winter, and the cold wind chilled her, bringing her back to the moment.

“How is he now?” she asked.

“You’ll know if you go and see,” came the sorrowful reply.

Jin Yu dropped the curtain, worried about his condition.

The carriage suddenly stopped, causing her to lean forward. She steadied herself on the frame, remaining seated.

“Young Master, we’ve arrived at the Xu residence,” came a servant’s voice from outside.

In a room with a light gauze screen decorated with delicate flower leaves, Xu Yi held the blue jade hairpin, his most precious possession.

The door was gently pushed open, and light streamed in. Xu Yi looked out and asked, “Hua Yan, is that you?”

When Jin Yu saw Xu Yi, her heart trembled. She thought she could let go, but in the end, she couldn’t.

She thought Xu Yi would live a happy life, not realizing she had driven him to despair.

“It’s me,” Jinyu said, holding his ice-cold hands.

Xu Yi was stunned, remaining motionless for a long time. Tears welled up in his eyes, rolling down in large droplets, wetting his collar. His cold hands gripped Jinyu’s warm ones, trembling as they traced up her arm to gently caress her face. “Is it really you? Is it really you?” he asked in a choked, hoarse voice, filled with joy and unease. He traced Jinyu’s features, afraid she might disappear.

“It’s me,” Jinyu whispered, tenderly embracing him. “It’s me…”

Xu Yi cried in Jinyu’s embrace, tears flowing as despair had blinded him. He thought he would live alone in darkness forever, never seeing her again. Unexpectedly, she had returned, holding him as if heaven was showing him mercy.

After a long time, when he had cried out all his tears, he stopped, feeling emotionally drained.

He leaned against Jinyu’s embrace, occasionally hiccupping and clutching her clothes tightly, afraid she would leave or that this was just another dream.

Jinyu wiped away his tears, gently touching his forehead, “What happened to your eyes?” She hadn’t expected him to change so much in just over a month.

Xu Yi lowered his head, feeling uneasy, and nestled closer to her, gripping her clothes even tighter, afraid she would push him away.

Jinyu covered his cold hand, stroking it, hoping to warm it, “Did you plan this? That if I didn’t want you, you’d become like this?”

Xu Yi remained silent, his small hand trembling. Jinyu compassionately stroked his back, drawing him closer, “I’ll find a doctor. Your eyes will be healed.”

Xu Yi shook his head, tears welling up again, “No, no…” If healed, you’ll leave me again. His choked voice was heartbreaking. He’d rather stay blind than lose her, wondering what use eyes were if he couldn’t see her.

She thought her heart had gone cold and devoid of feeling, but upon hearing Xu Yi’s words and seeing his situation, she felt pain and compassion. Xu Yi believed she had given him warmth, but she knew it was he who had warmed her heart, allowing her to embrace others and believe again.

Xu Yi responded awkwardly, thinking that even if this was a dream, he was willing to remain in it, grasping at the fleeting happiness.

Lying softly in Jing Yu’s arms, his face flushed and lips slightly parted, Xu Yi felt enveloped by warmth. He clutched Jing Yu’s clothing, not wanting her to leave, wishing this dream would last.

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