“As long as she comes to see me, it’s fine,” Xu Yi’s tone was stubborn. Of course, he hoped to see her face, but he was afraid that if his eyes healed, he would be abandoned again. He would rather live in darkness than lose her. As long as he could be with her, what more could he want?
Jin Mo watched Xu Yi silently. Feeling Jin Mo’s gaze, Xu Yi lowered his head further. “Please leave. This is my boudoir. I’m about to get married. You shouldn’t be here.”
“Won’t you marry me? I won’t mind your past. As long as you’re willing to marry me,” Jin Mo urged softly, unwilling to let go after so many years.
Xu Yi fell silent. He knew the second young lady cared for him and wanted to marry him, promising fidelity. He yearned for someone to love him deeply, unlike his father’s relationship with his mother. The second young lady could offer him that life, ignoring his lost innocence. He should feel content, but his heart belonged to someone else. He would rather be a concubine, happy with any attention.
“As long as I can marry the person I love, I’m willing to endure hardship,” Xu Yi said, turning away. “I don’t want to. She said she would marry me. I’ll wait for her.”
“Marry me. We’ll live well together, just the two of us.”
“No, I’m waiting for her to marry me. I won’t marry anyone else.”
Xu Yi’s words were unchanged, refusing her once again, causing Jin Mo pain like a thorn in her heart. He always rejected her, his eyes focused solely on one person, leaving no room for her. Why was it like this?
“What if she doesn’t marry you this time?” Jin Mo asked. Could she truly not win the heart of her loved one? Even after giving her whole heart, could she not move him even a little?
Xu Yi gripped the bedding nervously, “She said she would marry me. Even if she doesn’t, she still visits me sometimes. I’m satisfied. I’ll keep waiting for her.”
Jin Mo’s heart ached, not just for her own repeated rejections, but for Xu Yi’s devoted love. His obsessive love for the eldest lady had caused him immense suffering. She had always silently wished he would love someone who would cherish him, yet his heart belonged only to the eldest lady, who had space for another man, never caring for him.
“If my sister is no longer the head of the Jin family, would you still marry her?” Jin Mo asked. The eldest lady had once abandoned him for the position of family head and Cloud Mei. Would she now sacrifice the family head position for him? Why was she going against their previous agreement?
Seeing Xu Yi not respond, Jin Mo asked, “If I become the head of the Jin family, would you marry me?” She would take back the family head position, even if it meant losing her freedom.
Xu Yi’s heart trembled, turning away. “She is the master of the Jin family and has already sent a betrothal gift, saying she would marry me before the year ends. I will only marry her.” No one else occupied his heart; every day was filled with thoughts of her, longing to be by her side.
“Is that so?” Jin Mo muttered, “You really don’t want to come with me?”
“No,” Xu Yi answered firmly, his determination palpable despite his blindness.
Jin Mo left Xu Yi’s chamber in disappointment, a familiar emptiness settling in.
“Master,” Hua Yan called uneasily as Jin Mo emerged.
Jin Mo shook himself from his thoughts, looking at Hua Yan, who had changed much like Xu Yi. His voice carried a hint of reproach, “Have you forgotten that I am your master? Why didn’t you tell me about his pregnancy and blindness for two years?”
Hua Yan lowered his head guiltily. He hadn’t told Jin Mo about Xu Yi’s pregnancy, fearing Jin Mo would despise Xu Yi. He thought that if Jin Yu no longer wanted Xu Yi, perhaps Xu Yi could marry Jin Mo and find happiness, believing he was acting in Xu Yi’s best interests.
Seeing Hua Yan’s reaction, Jin Mo didn’t pursue the matter further. “What happened to his eyes?” he asked, feeling heartache. The miscarriage had happened two years ago, but what about his eyes? Had he been living in darkness, fear, and sorrow?
Hua Yan spoke compassionately about Xu Yi’s eyes, “After the Jin family master spent a day with the young master, he secretly blinded himself. By the time it was discovered, he could no longer see. The family master called a doctor, but Xu Yi refused treatment, and the doctor said it was beyond cure.” The young master was in complete despair, unable to bear any more pain, and to avoid being married off, he had destroyed his own eyes.
Jin Mo looked towards Xu Yi’s chamber, his eyes filled with heartache. “I’ll send someone to find a doctor. Take good care of him.”
Hua Yan wasn’t surprised by Jin Mo’s concern for Xu Yi. He knew the master had always cared for the young master, and the fact that he didn’t despise Xu Yi after learning of his pregnancy reassured Hua Yan.
“The Jin family master said she would send someone to find a doctor to treat the young master.”
Jin Mo paused. Did his elder sister truly care this much? If she could bring him happiness, perhaps he could let go.
As Jin Mo was about to leave, Hua Yan called out uneasily, “Master, the Jin family master already knows I was sent by you to be near the young master.” She remembered Jin Yu’s words at the Three Lives Stone and hoped the master would return quickly to resolve the matter.
Jin Mo was taken aback for a moment. So she knew? In the past two years, he sensed his sister was not as simple as before. What had happened after he left Ten Li Town? Everything seemed different upon his return. “Hua Yan, from now on, you’ll stay by his side and take care of him. I’m no longer your master; he is.”
“Master?” Hua Yan was surprised.
“That’s how it will be.” Jin Mo knew Hua Yan had Xu Yi’s best interests at heart. Completely entrusting Hua Yan to Xu Yi, he felt the young master would benefit from having such a caring servant.
Jin Mo wasn’t sure if her decision to give up the Jin family mastership and wander outside was youthful pride or impulsiveness. She had hoped her loved ones would be safe and wanted to travel the world with her lover, but now nothing had been realized.
Her only relative was poisoned, and her lover’s heart could only contain someone else, far from her.
Looking at Xu Yi’s chamber, Jin Mo knew that even after reclaiming the Jin family mastership, she might never win Xu Yi’s heart. Nonetheless, she wanted to do one last thing for him, hoping he could be happy and not suffer. She couldn’t completely entrust him to her elder sister yet and hoped he wouldn’t blame her.
It was time to investigate her elder sister’s matters.
After Jin Mo left, Xu Yi remained uneasy until Jin Yu appeared. Joyfully, he grabbed her clothing and nestled into her embrace, whispering softly, “I missed you so much…”
Jin Yu stroked his back, feeling the soft bone structure beneath her hand. “If I asked you now, would you still be willing to marry me?” If Xu Yi still wanted to marry her, she would. If he hesitated, she would let him go and support his relationship with Jin Mo.
Xu Yi loosened his grip, snuggling closer to Jin Yu, his voice a mix of grievance and determination, “I will marry you. You know I’ve always been willing to marry you.”
“What if I’m not the Jin family master? Would you still marry me?” If it came to that, she would leave the Jin family. She had no good feelings towards it after managing it for two years as a form of repayment. Moreover, if she took Xu Yi, she would be giving up the Jin family mastership—a promise made to Jin Mo.
It was never meant to be hers, and she wouldn’t force it. Though reluctant to let Xu Yi go, she waited for Jin Mo’s return, giving Xu Yi the choice.
Xu Yi looked up at Jin Yu, anxious. “If you’re not the Jin family master, what will you do?”
Jin Yu observed Xu Yi’s unease, remaining silent for a long time before speaking. “I will leave here.”
