Memories of that day when ‘Jin Yu’ took him flashed, causing his body to stiffen and tremble. Though blurry, the recollection was vivid; it had been painful and frightening, leaving him swollen and bleeding afterward.
“Xiao Lian,” Su Xi pulled his hand to stop him. “Don’t say nonsense, sit quietly.”
Su Xi and Xiao Lian had seen Xu Yi at the Beauty Parlor and both remembered.
“I…” Xiao Lian turned away, “I’m not talking nonsense, his eyes…”
Xu Yi felt the unusual gaze and lowered his head, not letting others see his blind eyes. Since losing his sight, he had remained in his inner chambers with only Hua Yan for company. No one had looked at him like this before, and a faint sense of fear grew within him. Confused, Xu Yi held Jin Yu’s hand and leaned slightly towards her.
Jin Yu drew him closer, whispering, “It’s okay.”
Xu Yi softly responded with an “En” and leaned into Jin Yu’s embrace, feeling her warmth ease his anxiety.
Su Xi sensed their intimacy and felt flustered. He looked anxiously at Jin Yu, who nodded reassuringly. Su Xi calmed down but paused upon glancing at Xu Yi, questioning Jin Yu.
Jin Yu’s voice was gentle, “We’ll talk about this later. Don’t overthink it. Take care of yourself and the baby.” She was concerned because Xu Yi had just left the Xu family and felt uneasy, even with her support. She also worried about Su Xi, who was pregnant and required care throughout the journey.
Su Xi smiled at Jin Yu and then looked at her belly, feeling sympathy for Xu Yi. How could such beautiful eyes no longer see?
Though Xu Yi was blind, hearing “baby” reminded him that the two people in the carriage were the same ones he had met at the Beauty Parlor. Jin Yu had confirmed the pregnancy rumors, and hearing her say “baby” made him envious. If his own baby were still alive, they would almost be a year old now.
Xiao Lian noticed Xu Yi’s disappointment and leaned in, “Do you want to touch my brother’s belly? It’s quite big now.”
Jin Yu darkened her expression and lowered her voice, “Xiao Lian, sit over there and be quiet.” Xu Yi had experienced a miscarriage, and Jin Yu wanted to avoid painful memories.
Xiao Lian sat down next to Su Xi, feeling aggrieved. “I was just…”
“No one would let him speak. He looked at Xu Yi with hostility, but when he saw those sightless eyes, his hostility disappeared. How could such a lovable person be bad? He turned to glare at Jin Yu, “Did you do something to him to make his eyes go blind?”
Xu Yi softly explained to Xiao Lian, “It’s not Miss Jin’s fault, it’s my own…” He lowered his head, acknowledging his responsibility.
Seeing Xu Yi’s honest demeanor, Xiao Lian felt he was easily bullied and became more suspicious of Jin Yu. He moved away from her and softened towards Xu Yi, “My brother’s belly is soft and smooth. Would you like to touch?”
Xu Yi became hopeful but remembered Jin Yu’s earlier reluctance and looked disappointed. He tugged at Jin Yu’s sleeve, “I’ll be very gentle, I won’t hurt the baby. Can I touch, just once?”
Seeing his expectant expression, Jin Yu touched his face, “Yes, you can.”
Xu Yi’s face lit up with joy. He turned to move closer but then became timid, “Is it okay?”
Su Xi, who had been stroking his belly, paused and looked at Xu Yi, then at Jin Yu. Seeing her nod, he smiled and said, “Yes.”
“Really?” Xu Yi was overjoyed.
Xiao Lian took Xu Yi’s hand from Jin Yu, “My brother is very nice. He said it’s okay, so it definitely is. I’ll help you.”
Jin Yu, watching Xu Yi being led away, called out to Xiao Lian, “Be careful.”
Xiao Lian sulked, ignoring her. How was everything always his fault?
The sound of rolling carriage wheels began. Xu Yi felt a mix of anticipation and unease, clutching Jin Yu’s clothing, not wanting to be abandoned. This journey would determine his future.
Su Xi, with his hand on his slightly protruding belly, leaned into Jin Yu’s embrace. As drowsiness came, Jin Yu helped him lie down and covered him with blankets. Though the day was warm, warming stoves had been prepared for the colder nights.
Xiao Lian occasionally lifted the carriage curtain to look outside, gazing longingly at Xu Yi nestled in Jin Yu’s embrace. He wanted to be held too. With a grieved expression, he turned away, feeling frustrated. Why did Jin Yu hold Su Xi and Xu Yi but never him?
Jin Yu looked at Xiao Lian, huddled in the corner, her eyes full of concern. “Xiao Lian, are you cold?”
Xiao Lian turned at her words, staring blankly, then nodded, “Cold, very cold…” How should he respond if she hugged him?
Her brother seemed to always blush when embraced, which troubled Xiao Lian, making her hesitant to hug him.
Jin Yu voiced her concern, “There’s a warming stove in the carriage, or you can sleep on the soft couch.”
Xiao Lian’s face fell, glaring at Jin Yu before turning away in frustration. She imagined what it was like when Jin Yu had carried her to find a doctor after she fainted. Her brother had mentioned Jin Yu carrying her before, but she wasn’t sure if it was on her lap or like how she carried her brother into the house.
Seeing Xiao Lian dejected, Jin Yu smiled softly, “If you feel cold, you can come closer.”
Xiao Lian looked at her with teary eyes, then snorted and turned away, not wanting Jin Yu to hug her, despite her desire for warmth.
Jin Yu then turned her attention to Xu Yi in her arms, “Are you tired?”
“Not tired,” Xu Yi replied shyly, a blush on his face.
“Are you cold?” Jin Yu asked again.
Xu Yi nestled more into Jin Yu’s embrace, “A little.”
“Want to sleep?”
“No…” Xu Yi shook his head, “I want to stay in your arms… I want to keep feeling this warmth, not wanting to lose it again.”
Jin Yu tenderly kissed his forehead, “Rest well, I’ll hold you.”
“Okay,” Xu Yi giggled, “Can we have a baby? I want one too. This time I’ll be very careful, won’t lose it again…”
Jin Yu paused, kissing Xu Yi’s cheek, “Yes, we’ll have a baby again.” She knew Xu Yi envied Su Xi. Although she liked the idea of having a child, she recalled that if Xu Yi’s previous pregnancy hadn’t ended in miscarriage, he might not be with her now. Holding Xu Yi tightly, she thought that children could come later, but a person could only be lost once.
Xu Yi, reassured by Jin Yu’s promise, closed his eyes and gradually fell asleep in her arms, exhausted from the long ride.
Xiao Lian looked up at her with teary eyes, “Why do you never hug me? I’m also well-behaved…”
Jin Yu pulled him into her embrace, allowing him to warm up against her. “It’s quite warm in the car. If you’re cold, you can sleep on the soft couch with the heater. You’re tired, so why bother staying awake?”
Xiao Lian murmured, “I don’t care what you say, I’m going to sleep right here…”
Jin Yu felt helpless facing him. He was sickly, young, and Su Xi’s most beloved younger brother—someone who couldn’t be scolded or punished. “Are you still feeling cold?” she asked softly, revealing the tender part of her heart surrounded by her loved ones.
Xiao Lian was stunned by Jin Yu’s words and felt her care. His eyes turned sour and teary; she had always been good to her brother. “Cold, still cold, hold me tighter…” his voice choked, tinged with hoarseness.
Jin Yu’s hands were slightly stiff but caressed Xiao Lian’s back. He felt the warmth from her body and pressed closer, realizing why everyone liked being hugged by her—it was so warm. He slipped his cold hands into her clothing, finding even more heat inside. If only he had asked her to hold him before winter, he wouldn’t have felt so cold. He used to think her nightly visits tormented his brother, but being close to such a soft, warm body was comforting. No wonder his brother blushed when she came to sleep with him; he decided he would do the same. Xiao Lian giggled, caressing her, mumbling drowsily, “Soft, fragrant, this young master will cherish you…”
