“The Grand Tutor has already exchanged his life for his son’s. Do you think I am a monarch who disregards the law? I will spare Yin Can because of the Grand Tutor’s self-immolation before me. But I never expected Yin Can to be so ungrateful for the Grand Tutor’s painstaking efforts!” Cang Lian’s tone remained flat, his expression between heartache and numbness.
“You may leave now. I have my own plans. In half a month, I will personally lead the expedition!” Cang Lian’s cold voice echoed in the empty council hall.
“I know what you want to say. My decision will not change. You may retire. I am tired!
He wearily waved at everyone, blocking their attempts to interject.
I had been watching from the side, observing Cang Lian, feeling a subtle compassion. His mask had been too perfect before; I had nothing left but resentment. But seeing him now, I realized he was just a pitiful person.
I watched his weary demeanor and felt sympathy.
I no longer know what Shui Zi Wei and Yin Can intend to do. When they left last time, Yin Can said Wei had an unresolved responsibility to Cang’s nation, yet now he does something so foolish. I do not believe my Wei would follow that madman.
“It seems I am truly tired and need rest,” his voice drifted into my ears.
I watched him quietly resting on the table, then turned and left the council hall, heading towards the Zi flower field.
I stood blankly in the Zihua, not knowing why I always have those inexplicable memories, not knowing what those fragments have to do with me.
For three days, I wandered like a lost soul, aimlessly wandering for three days. And three days later, I returned to Ran Yan’er’s body, and Ran Yan’er also woke up.
Only after waking up, my eyes went blind. Probably due to Yin Can’s poison, this is a sign of poison spreading. However, I do not understand why Yin Can would treat me this way.
I have no grudge against him, yet he keeps pushing me into hell.
“You’re awake, how are you? Is anything uncomfortable?” Cang Lian’s familiar voice interrupted my wild thoughts, and I turned my head towards the sound.
Being blind was truly a big trouble for me. I groped towards the voice, wanting to know where he was. The darkness in front of my eyes made me even more afraid, afraid of struggling alone in the darkness, afraid of everyone abandoning me.
“Here, I’m here!” He held my groping hands. His hands were warm, rough, with a strong sense of familiarity.
Perhaps I didn’t have a good impression of him before, but since seeing him that way last time, my disgust towards him had somewhat dissipated. Moreover, his attitude towards me had changed dramatically. This change surprised me and left me unsure how to respond, but ultimately, we were no longer as confrontational as before.
“It’s nothing… I know some medicine myself. This poison won’t kill me immediately. Even when it acts up, it won’t be sudden. Initially, the eyes go blind, then hearing is lost, then hands and feet lose sensation, and only then will the poison attack the heart.” I said this casually, but in my heart, I knew Yin Can wouldn’t let me die so easily. I might not know his thoughts, but he probably still found me useful.
“Is Shui Zixi now with Yin Can?”
” I asked instinctively, though I already knew the answer, yet couldn’t believe he would use me like Yin Can. If he was with Yin Can, he couldn’t be unaware of my poisoning.
Cang Lian’s voice was silent for a long time before slowly responding: “The soldiers returning from Xiangzhou say so, but I’m not entirely sure.” He ultimately considered my feelings and didn’t give me an answer I didn’t want to hear.
“Can you take me with you on your expedition?” I asked uncertainly.
My hand was still tightly held by him, and when I asked, I unconsciously gripped tightly.
“We’ll go together, the poison in your body will be cured quickly—very quickly!” he assured.
Hearing his words, I felt a touch of emotion in my heart. I once hated him for taking away my freedom, hated him for making me stay in that hellish palace for a year, hated him for taking away my innocence. But now, I could no longer hate him.
“I know, I know Yin Can won’t end well! I believe you, I know you’ll cure my poison, I know!” I murmured.
I felt him pull me into his embrace, felt his familiar breath.
“I will give you the happiness you want, I won’t force you anymore, won’t make you do anything!” he said softly.
“I know!”
“I answered softly.
Expedition (1)
Half a month later, I set out with Cang Lian to Xiangzhou.
On the way, because of my inconvenient eyes, I always stayed close to Cang Lian, obediently following by his side.
Every day by his side, I could always hear people coming and going, always feel people entering and leaving, but sitting in Cang Lian’s tent, I couldn’t hear what they were discussing. However, I could sense the atmosphere becoming increasingly tense as we approached Xiangzhou. Cang Lian was also no longer paying attention to me, sometimes spending entire days discussing in the tent, while I just sat quietly behind.
My eyes were inconvenient, and I didn’t know the outside situation, but the palace maid serving me spoke more and more strangely. I knew Cang Lian’s situation was not good.
“Xiaowu, what’s happening outside!” Since mistakenly calling that palace maid Xiaowu, I had continued to call her that.
“Miss, the situation outside is fine, nothing is happening!” she respectfully answered.
“The situation is fine? But why do I feel like something has happened!” I asked casually.
“Miss, please rest well, don’t overthink. Nothing is happening outside!” she maintained her calm tone.
I didn’t ask more.
“I’m thirsty, pour me some tea,” I reached out, groping for the cup for her to pour water. She handed me the cup of water.
I sipped the tea, silent for a long time before speaking again: “How long have you been in the palace?” I asked inadvertently.
“This servant has not been in the palace for a full year,” she answered.
I continued sipping the tea: “So when did you start poisoning my tea?” I asked as casually as if asking about daily life.
“I don’t understand the meaning of your words! How could this tea be poisoned!” Her tone was not as panicked as I had imagined, and she answered calmly.
“How can you not understand when I’m speaking so directly? I’ve always felt that you look very similar to Xiao Wu. Even when I was disoriented, I couldn’t have mistaken you repeatedly. You are Xiao Wu, right! You have deceived me again, betrayed me again. How can I trust you again!” I spoke with difficulty, my eyes fixed tightly on her, trying to see clearly the face of the person who once said she saw me as a sister.
I was poisoned, but my eyes had not completely gone blind. Although I couldn’t see faces clearly, I could still see blurry shadows. I could vaguely see that she had done something to the tea.
She was too confident, believing I would not suspect her, thinking I would completely believe Yin Can’s words. He said Xiao Wu was dead, so I truly believed Xiao Wu was dead.
“Miss, I originally wanted to let you stay in the tent for a while longer. The master is not fully prepared yet, but since you know now, I can only take you away with me.”
Her voice sounded harsh to me now. Repeated deception, repeated betrayal – I no longer knew who to trust. I didn’t even know whether to trust Xiu. He said he would come back for me, told me to wait for him, but he never returned.
“It won’t be easy for you to take me out. Carrying a blind person out of Cang Lian’s tent would require extraordinary skills!” I said casually. In truth, staying in Cang Lian’s tent was suffocating, and I really wanted to see Xiu, to ask why he hadn’t returned to our small house. If he could return with me now, I would still be willing.
