[011] A Gloomy Name! “My dear, what’s going on up there? Why is it making such a racket?” the Jade Emperor patted the Queen Mother’s hand, glancing fearfully at the ceiling of the Heavenly Palace. “From the sound, it seems to be coming from the Tai Bai Divine Temple on the 99th heaven. It might be this old man causing trouble, bringing something from the human world… fireworks? Yes, fireworks! I heard they’re quite beautiful~” The Jade Emperor rubbed his forehead as the Queen Mother’s expression shifted from a frown to wide, sparkling eyes: the Heavenly Court was about to be in chaos again.
Last time, the Queen Mother insisted on something from the human world called chicken mud, claiming it was trendy and beautiful, even using the word “sexy” while wearing a two-piece outfit. The following day, all officials in the Heavenly Court took sick leave without specifying a reason, which was understood—everyone had boils… including me.
“Tai Bai, come out!” I shouted while slapping a feather duster in my hand. Our respected Tai Bai Jinxing was trembling and curled up under the bed.
“Not coming out! A real man, if he says he won’t come out, he won’t come out!” Tai Bai shouted defiantly.
Oh? The old man has learned to resist? I tossed the feather duster aside and reached for him.
“Old man, don’t you owe me a reasonable explanation?!” I finally grabbed Tai Bai’s beard and pulled him out from under the bed.
“Oh, oh, oh—be gentle! This beard is valuable! I wash it daily with Qing holy water, comb it with a five-colored glass comb, and occasionally wax and oil it…” Tai Bai ramble about his beard care.
“Enough! Stop blabbering, or I’ll set fire to it!” I interrupted.
Tai Bai jumped back, holding his beard protectively.
“Why did I turn into a cat!” I exclaimed in frustration, unable to directly express my feelings for the beautiful man.
Even worse, whoever wrote the Book of Life and Death made me die in a cesspit before enjoying beauty—how unfair! I beat my chest like a gorilla—my heart aches! My beautiful man! (crying dramatically)
