Late at night, a series of frantic knocks woke me up, but beside me, the breathing was still steady… I never worry about any sudden events interrupting his sleep; he always sleeps through until he naturally wakes up. I got out of bed to open the door, still wondering which fool would knock without using the doorbell. As a stench of smoke and alcohol hit me, I saw Qi Yufeng. He paused, and I froze. For some reason, I didn’t back away but stared at him, laughing foolishly, mocking myself and him, two pitiful souls. I could only move towards him, softly calling, “Qi Yufeng, Qi Yufeng, Qi Yufeng…” His head rested on my shoulder, that once familiar voice, low and hoarse, lingering in my ears, “Don’t stop… don’t stop…” I had never seen him so childish, and I couldn’t help but laugh, but he tightened his grip, choking me, and before I blacked out, I shouted in his ear with all my might, “Damn it, Qi Yufeng, you’re going crazy with alcohol!” The violent shaking of my eardrums might have brought him back to his senses. He let go, his deep eyes unchanged, looking into them was like being back to the times he used to scare me, always teasing with a half-smile, “I can go even crazier…” But now, he said nothing…
Actually, everything has changed; I only hold onto the images of the past, with nothing left that I can salvage. Suddenly, I felt that getting drunk was a form of bliss, shedding all responsibilities, just to be irresponsible. When alcohol is only used to go crazy, what difference does it make whether you drink or not? I just want to go wild! What’s wrong with that? Damn it, why should a good person like me be so exhausted? Qi Yufeng, if you came, you deserve it! Your silence is your debt! Today, I’ll make you scream! Damn it!!
