Dealing with Tigers

“He looked out the window, not even wanting to look at me? ‘Xia Xia, I can’t give you what you want…’ I’ve already rushed out of the car… What do I want? I’ve never asked him for anything, yet he says he can’t give it, just an excuse. He doesn’t love me anymore, you see, he can’t even bother to deceive me anymore. Why do we have to part ways as soon as we meet? Is he so eager to get rid of me? Do I pressure him or burden him? I didn’t even dare to send him a single letter… Two years of separation can really sever someone’s feelings, what about mine? Who did he give his first time to? He clearly said it was mine… He gave up, but he told me to wait for him, he said we were going to get married, to be together for life… He just yelled at me twice, he never did that before… Why? Hua Hua, why do you think? Why are you undressing me, what are you doing? I don’t like you pouring water on me, all of you are so inexplicable! ‘Be good, don’t hide, how can you sleep without a bath, look at how drunk you are… Don’t blame Ke Xuan, he’s also helpless.’ Helpless to find another woman? ‘Following him won’t lead to happiness.’ You’re lying, I used to be very happy. ‘Forget him.’ How can I forget? They all think I’m sick, saying I’ve been in a coma for three days, but I was awake. I just didn’t want to open my eyes to think. He came the next night, reeking of alcohol, he kissed my lips, I knew it. I didn’t want to open my eyes because if he knew I was awake, he’d leave. He held me, like before, he was unhappy again. I didn’t dare move, listening to him speak intermittently… ‘You must be heartbroken to be sick, don’t hate me too much, I hope I can still see you in the future, talk to you, don’t ignore me…’ ‘I can’t choose you, do you understand? You could be in danger at any time. And I, who knows when I might not come back, just like my brother… I can’t give you happiness, in this sequence, I can’t take you through to the end, just stop at ‘waiting’…’ ‘Can you hear me in your dreams? I’ll tell you, that night I didn’t sleep, I heard everything you said, really, you said, you love me…’ ‘I kept reciting with my eyes closed, waiting for you to fall asleep, then I got up and wrote it down, put it with the amulet my mom gave me, carrying it every day.’ ‘Xia Xia, Xia Xia, if one day I die, you can’t forget me, remember the prince who made promises to you in France, okay? You can’t forget me… I love you so much… so much…’ He mumbled like he was talking in his sleep, until I really fell asleep. When I woke up, he was gone, I’d pretend not to know. I asked him out, I said we could be friends again, the best of friends, like when we first met. He looked at me in shock, he said, ‘You’re clearly very vindictive, I thought you’d never speak to me again.’ What, at a time like this, he still says I’m vindictive! ‘You three are the exceptions.’ Really. Wearing the clothes of reality, I find them too tight, but in the clothes of imagination, I can move freely. Last night’s rain was endless. I’m icing my eyes, see, you shouldn’t cry before sleep! ‘Five hundred thousand! Who are you kidding!’ ‘Tell me! Did you sell yourself last night for those few hours? I found this ‘XXX Union XXX Address XXXXXX Phone XXXXXX2XXXXXX2′ by the bathtub this morning, is this from your client? But, you should thank your lucky stars for getting this price with just a twist.’ What! You actually trampled on my life-saving fund like this! I snatched the ice pack and the paper, the writing was blurred by water, it looked like some YU’s contact info. I continued icing. ‘That five hundred thousand, just ask Young Master Li, he knows all about it, all thanks to him~’ He was sitting next to me cutting fruit, this guy was at my door at dawn, brought a lavish breakfast and fresh fruit that looked almost like plastic, with glistening drops of water on top, you see how sincere he is, probably to explain last night’s misdeeds to my parents! ‘Uh, it’s like this, my dad kidnapped her yesterday evening, because I… I’ve been getting drunk every day, my dad asked if it was because of her…’ Right, right, then he said it wasn’t! And suggested a thrilling game!! ‘If I show I care about her, she’s doomed, you know my dad, he’d eliminate her…’ I was stunned, is that so? Hua Hua and Ba Ba frowned, not looking at me… I didn’t know this, his dad is actually a psychopath! At that time, his dad said he’d let me run in the backyard, whoever caught me could play with me, if I escaped unharmed, I’d get ten thousand, if not, I’d be killed. I thought he was joking… Li Ke Xuan said it wasn’t thrilling enough, suggested letting me run on the streets, with his brothers chasing on motorcycles, if I wasn’t caught within an hour, I’d get twenty thousand, if caught, I’d be gang-raped… I thought he’d lost his mind, but he was actually helping me, there’s no way I wouldn’t be caught by dozens of men in the backyard, only on the busy streets would I have a chance to escape, those minutes before were him covering for me, and I cursed him for being inhuman… ‘After she rambled a bunch of strange things, she actually said, ‘You’re playing with my life! At least it should be five hundred thousand, numbers like one or two are not something big shots like us would say!’ My dad said she had guts and agreed to it.’ Hua Hua spat out his drink, Ba Ba choked, do we need to be so dramatic… A berry was brought to my lips, I took a bite, oh? My favorite? But it felt like a huge ice block hit me on the head! I stood up stiffly, the ice pack slipped and fell to the ground, Hua Hua and Ba Ba looked at me in surprise, ‘What!’ -.-||| Oh no, I overreacted… I was worried. He didn’t look at me, just coldly stared at the fallen ice pack, he must have noticed, so he put down the knife, turned aside, gripping the berry with white knuckles. So did I, in my hand was the water-blurred paper, piercing through it into my palm were my nails. It hurts! It feels like what’s been hollowed out and pierced through in our hands is our hearts, the tighter we grip, the more blood flows freely!” “I remembered, I have to leave tonight, a nine o’clock flight to Spain for location scouting…” I was pretending, pretending to smile nonchalantly, letting go of the paper and casually calculating expenses on it. But those numbers I wrote were just random scribbles. I didn’t even know what they were saying; I just knew I had to bite my lip to keep it from trembling, hold my breath to avoid sobbing aloud. It was so hard. All I could see were those deeply etched scenes: you silently cutting fruit, silently feeding me. We were too used to each other, right? So why do I want to escape? Under the guise of being good friends, wasn’t I just hypocritically seeking those lost shadows in you? In the afternoon, he accompanied me to get my hair cut, very neat, like a pure schoolgirl. The cut from last night was too unsightly, all crooked and slanting. He stared blankly at the hair scattered on the ground, hair I had kept long since I started liking him. Maybe it symbolized an end. At the airport, “Please, I’m only going for half a month. I’ll take care of myself, I love you guys!!” I blew twenty-seven rapid kisses, then turned and entered the gate as they stood there stunned. I didn’t want to see their reluctant, worried faces; it made me feel insecure. They didn’t know that before I met them, after they graduated and returned home, I was very independent. I just really wanted to depend on them, stick to them, watch them worry and fret. “You might, really be a bit abnormal,” my family all said. Spain is a wild country. I wandered day and night through ancient cities, old paths, rural markets, and peaceful villages, frantically capturing traces left behind. The most ancient dances, customs, culture, and architecture hidden in folklore would force out the most passionate, authentic cries from people! I walked, felt, and painted without day or night. It was so refreshing; I loved this simple set of actions, a baptism of body and soul. Each departure is a new beginning. I know what I want. No matter how dense the foliage, the ground beneath is still speckled with dazzling spots of light, welcomed by the enthusiastic calls of insects and birds. I’ve brought summer back with me, hahaha~ I was pressing the doorbell while howling at the sky. The door opened, and no one could resist my heartfelt embrace. But, this person is so tall! I looked up at him, “Who are you?” He was in a suit, sunglasses, with long hair! “His name is Han Wei,” a deep voice came from inside. Uh… my temperature dropped seventy-four degrees, I stepped back, bowed ninety degrees, “I’m sorry, I might have the wrong door, hehe…” I was about to run, “Little Xia?” Oh no, I almost forgot, Hua Hua and the others must be in his hands. I turned back, expecting to see them terrified by guns and knives, but… “You’re back so early? Wasn’t your flight supposed to be tonight?” They were having afternoon tea… with that man… “What are you standing there for? Mr. Qi knew you were coming back tonight and came specially to see you, aren’t you going to greet him?” These two!! He sat there gracefully, calm and composed, waiting for me, but his eyes clearly told me he was waiting for his prey to walk into his trap. I approached him, crossing myself like a devotee, then bent to kiss his hand, “Very honored to meet you, Godfather.” He raised an eyebrow, pulled me forward, just blocking Hua Hua’s view. “Did you have fun, Wang Xiaohong? Now, what game do you want to play with your grandparents?” I whispered, glaring at him, “What do you want?” “Let’s play a game tonight; someone will come to pick you up, or you can still run.” If I were alone, I’d definitely run! He stood up, very politely said, “I have some business to attend to, please excuse me, thank you for the tea, it was very good,” and didn’t forget to throw a smile that could kill, leaving us as Hua Hua dazedly bid him farewell. “Wow! What kind of luck do you have to get close to him! He’s really the diamond of the business world, a woman’s poison, and so young! Even if he were penniless, with just one smile, I’d give up everything! Did you know? The Jiang family was also acquired by him, and he just invited us to join the Jiang family’s real estate design department, he’s so good to us!” … Yes, so good!! I couldn’t even eat dinner, just kept bathing, calling Ke Xuan whose phone was off, I was doomed… After leaving a note, I got into the car heading to my execution. The car drove into a secluded forest, stopping in front of a stone house guarded by at least thirty or forty people. Next to it was a large truck, surrounded by over a dozen fierce-looking men, ready to live and die with it, showing a do-or-die attitude. This must be his lair, his diamonds might be hidden here! The furniture and decor inside the stone house were simple, like a hunting lodge, yet not lacking in grandeur. “Where is that person?” “The gentleman is waiting for the lady in the room.” I went in, and the door was immediately closed behind me. My back was against the door; this time, there was no escape. My heart was racing, I watched him warily, “Are you scared, darling?” Could one not be scared when about to lose oneself? He put down the papers he was holding, looking at me with amusement. His hair was still wet, wearing only a bathrobe. Undeniably, he was very handsome, the most outstanding man I’d seen so far. “Come here,” he sat on the sofa, I approached, but was pulled and pinned on his lap, an awkward position… A wave of heat came over me, “You’re blushing.” Then my right ear felt a warm, wet sensation, I felt myself trembling uncontrollably, trying to push him away with my elbow, but what was the use? He could hold me tightly with just one hand, obediently, I didn’t even bother to struggle. Men and women are inherently unequal, strength and physique are incomparable! “Don’t be disgusting!” “Haha, are you threatening me? You were the one who begged me to be intimate with you the other day.” “That day was different, and that was just for that day, don’t drag it into this!” Plus, that day was my initiative, now I’m the prey! “After using me, I have no value? You even forgot the promise you made.” He found that torn piece of paper from somewhere, the writing on it was already blurred and scribbled over, crumpled and pierced through, truly a piece of waste paper… Its appearance made me feel a bit guilty, “Do you know how many women outside want to get this piece of paper?”