Dealing with Tigers

“Maybe one day he’ll also want to build a castle, for himself and the ones he loves. I want to give him this place, let him express himself freely, maybe it’s also personal for me. When I was young, I really wanted a place of my own, especially an island in the middle of the sea, away from the land, away from them, with the vast sea in between… I’ve arranged everything; when he comes of age, this island will be his. But you, actually, I know, what you really want is a small house, simple and warm, within your control.” He sat on the windowsill, patted the spot next to him, and I sat down, asking how he knew. He smiled and started listing, “You like collecting, like white houses by the sea, like paint-stained palette knives, you lack security, have OCD, are lazy, don’t like changes, can’t handle hot things, eat ice the fastest, like to be in a hurry…” I tilted my head, leaned on his shoulder, listening gently, tears rolling down to dampen my hairline, as he continued in a soft voice, detailing every little thing… until he laid me down, took off his coat to cover me, and led Er Yu outside to play. He thought I had fallen asleep again. I opened my eyes, staring at the ceiling, murmuring to myself, Ke Xuan, how can we manage to leave no trace? I want to hide them deep, lock them tight, never to be opened or seen by daylight, along with the tears, I won’t let them fall for you anymore. Today is the last time; I’ll wipe them on your coat, give them back to you.