My eyes lit up, “I’ll gamble! Let’s skip the five rounds and start right away! My gambling luck is exceptional; I guarantee I won’t lose a single round!”
We sat at the gambling table, playing mahjong and poker, losing track of time. Before long, the Jade Emperor lost his entire mountain of silver ingots and owed me 800,000 taels of gold (1 tael of gold = 2000 RMB, 800,000 taels = 1.6 billion RMB). “Ha! Thirteen Orphans! Well, since you owe me 800,000 taels of gold, let’s call this round a draw!” I confirmed my generosity.
The Jade Emperor collapsed onto the table. “Oh my! This girl is terrifying! Not only did she not lose, but she also took my mountain of silver!”
“Oh, is that so? Then please settle the bill. It’s exactly 800,000 taels of gold, thank you.” I smiled, realizing I’m about to be rich!
The story continues with negotiations about the debt, leading to the Jade Emperor proposing to adopt me as his goddaughter to avoid paying the full amount.
“So, I’ll leave this matter to my godfather! But how about the 300,000 taels of gold you still owe me?” My words disrupted his mood. “My darling goddaughter, someone owes me 150,000 taels of gold, so you can collect from him, and I’ll repay the rest later!”
“Okay! Who is this person? I’ll go collect right away!”
Money is money, no matter who gives it. The Jade Emperor saw me laugh and also laughed, but with a somewhat sly expression. He leaned close to my ear and said: “He is… the King of Hell.”
“Hmph! I thought it was someone else! Why be so mysterious? Making my curiosity run wild!” I pouted angrily, wrapped the gold ingots on the table into a temporary bundle, slung it on my back, and prepared to leave.
“Hey, my darling goddaughter, where are you going?” The Jade Emperor called out. I rolled my eyes, “Of course, I’m going to the underworld to collect debt from the King of Hell!” The Jade Emperor was stunned: “Do you think the underworld is a hotel you can just visit?”
“Do I need to pay a toll or something?” “No, for your sake, here’s a VIP pass, for taking the elevator to heaven.” The Jade Emperor stuffed a pure gold card into my hand.
“This card… how much are you charging?”
“No charge! We’re family!” he replied, pushing me out of the palace. Only after seeing me walk away did he breathe a sigh of relief: “Phew~ The sooner I send this terrifying little girl away, the sooner my peaceful nest is safe!”
I hummed a little tune, holding the VIP pass and running into the heavenly elevator. Arriving quickly in the underworld, the first person I saw was White Impermanence. “Wow! Are you going to eat me? My flesh isn’t tasty! Wuwu…”
“Don’t be afraid, I’m not going to eat you! I just want to ask you a question, and if you answer correctly, you can enter the King of Hell’s hall…” White Impermanence said in a spine-chilling voice. My suspended heart finally relaxed, “Okay, ask away.”
“What does little white plus little white equal?”
“Little White TWO!” I was happy to be asked this question because I knew the answer. “Correct… please follow me…” I immediately got goosebumps—oh my, this was a standard Sadako-style female ghost voice! “O-okay…”
I clutched my precious bundle and followed White Impermanence. Suddenly, White Impermanence said: “You know little white plus little white, but I think you need to ponder what little white plus little black equals…” I trembled, for despite my unconventional thoughts, I still shared the ordinary fear of ghosts.
White Impermanence startled me again: “We’re here… the King of Hell is inside… I’m leaving now…” White Impermanence looked at me and slowly floated away.
I swallowed, mustered my courage, and pushed open the door to find the King of Hell playing poker with Black Impermanence. I was stunned; gambling seemed to be the most popular entertainment in the three realms.
“Excuse me…” Before I could finish, the two glared at me, forcing me to swallow my words.
“What?! Can’t you see I’m playing poker? Go register somewhere else!”
Just because you’re the King of Hell, you can act like this? “Damn it! I have a pure gold halo, why would I need to register? I’m here to collect a debt! What are you standing there for? Can’t understand me?”
Black Impermanence was scared away by my shouting. The King of Hell sat stunned for 5 minutes. “When… when did I owe you money?”
I was thrilled; I actually scared the King of Hell speechless for 5 minutes! “You owe my Jade Emperor godfather 150,000 taels of gold, and he owes me, so I came to collect!”
“What proof do you have that the Jade Emperor owes you?” The King of Hell didn’t believe a Jade Emperor would owe a little girl 150,000 taels of gold. “You’re so nosy! Why ask so much? Believe me, I’ll cause chaos in the underworld again!” Though I raised a seemingly powerful little fist, my feet trembled uncontrollably.
But the King of Hell was exactly the type to fall for this.
Women can be truly terrifying! This little girl’s fierce appearance reminds me of my wife when she was young. So fierce as a child—what will she be like when she grows up? Better not to provoke her!
The King of Hell swallowed, saying, “You… don’t cause trouble, I… I’ll give it to you…”
I followed behind him, covering my mouth to hide my laughter—this is called ‘fierceness conquers the world’! When we reached a large door, we heard a voice from inside: “Beginning identity scan.”
As King Yama took off his lower body for the scan, he said, “Identity confirmed, please come in!” He quickly put on his pants and walked through the door. I was stunned: “Scanning… scanning your buttocks?!” King Yama smiled, “Hehe~ This way, his wife can’t easily confiscate his secret stash of money… safer than keeping it in the bank…”
I glanced into the room and was petrified. The massive room contained not a single coin, only a large black hole on the wall and a white paper on the ground. I was blown away by the realization and patted his shoulder: “Sir… just accept it and move on! Your secret money has been confiscated; you can save again!”
I picked up the note from the ground with curiosity. “Ahem… I’ll read it, please listen carefully. – You bastard, actually daring to secretly save money behind my back?! These silver coins, I’m confiscating them! Punishment: sleeping on the living room couch for three days! Hmph! … These seem to be from your wife.”
King Yama collapsed on the ground, his self-esteem shattered. His wife was truly talented. Sympathizing with him, I decided to help reduce his debt. “How about this! You become my godfather, and I’ll consider it as exchanging ten thousand taels of gold for me, how’s that?” I was truly too kind!
“Really? Is it really possible?” King Yama looked at me with teary eyes. “Really! Don’t make me say it twice.” I helped him up and left that sorrowful place, arriving at the Hall of King Yama.
“Godfather, have some tea.” I handed him a cup from the table. He frowned, saying, “But this is ink…” I quickly put down the cup and stood obediently beside him.
King Yama suddenly brightened, saying, “My precious goddaughter, how about we play some Mahjong!” I was speechless; he was still gambling despite having no money. “But godfather, do you have money?”
King Yama raised an eyebrow, “Of course! Who would be stupid enough to keep all secret money in one place? I just have more hidden in a secret room!”
I couldn’t help but marvel at King Yama’s superior secret money hiding skills. He was truly amazing, and both he and his wife were formidable! Though his wife might be slightly more impressive since he’s more afraid of her. But I didn’t care about their prowess, as long as there was gambling: “First take out the money and set the number of rounds before we gamble, otherwise you’ll renege on the bet again.”
