Damn! Another guy with an attitude that pisses me off! “I just love to stir things up! Who are you to stop me? If you’re not happy, I’ll dig up your grave another day! Then I’ll blow up your ancestors’ tomb with a bomb!” The two ghost officers took a sharp breath—how fierce! Sure enough, my Yama King godfather is still good to me: “My darling goddaughter, don’t waste your breath on them, let them handle it as they wish.”
“But I want to help this beautiful lady live! If I’m going to live, I might as well live well! In my previous life, I was neither rich nor noble, didn’t become the campus beauty queen, couldn’t even be a class beauty, so at least give me a chance… Godfather~~” I used the little girl’s ultimate skill of acting coquettish to the fullest.
Yama King godfather couldn’t resist my persistent nagging and surrendered! “Fifteen thousand taels of gold?” “Deal!” I readily agreed. Fifteen thousand taels of gold to be a beautiful woman in a period drama—totally worth it! The beautiful lady’s touched gaze landed on me. See? I told you I’m kind-hearted!
I counted on my fingers and then looked up at Yama King godfather: “So you still owe me ten thousand taels of gold!” The two long-ignored ghost officers’ faces turned extremely ugly, finally realizing they had provoked someone they couldn’t mess with. Ghost Officer A quickly pulled Ghost Officer B and fled.
After my godfather processed my reincarnation paperwork, I shouldered my gold bundle and headed towards the Bridge of Helplessness, only to be stopped by Yama King godfather: “My darling goddaughter, where are you going?” “Of course, to the Bridge of Helplessness!” I was frustrated. Are there more procedures? Why is coming back to life so complicated?
Yama King godfather smiled apologetically, “You can’t go to the mortal world from there. I’m a bit tight on funds recently and haven’t paid Meng Po her salary, so she’s on strike and the bridge is closed!” I gave him a contemptuous look. I despise people who make others work without paying them!
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m helpless too. But you can go down to earth through your Jade Emperor godfather!” Yama King godfather suggested.
Fine, for the moon’s sake, I won’t hold a grudge. (Moon: “What does this have to do with me?!”)
Holding my VIP pass, I skipped into the heavenly elevator. Before entering heaven, I called back to Yama King godfather: “Godfather~ Remember to slowly pay back those ten thousand taels of gold!” The elevator door closed, leaving Yama King godfather stunned.
[Volume One: Encounter – Chapter Three: Small Constable of the Clear Water Yamen]
“Godfather~~ Jade Emperor godfather~~” I ran into the Lingxiao Hall, causing the Jade Emperor godfather to spit his tea onto Moon God’s face. “Your Majesty, I’ve completed the task for you, yet this is how you reward me?” Moon God wiped the tea off his face with his sleeve.
The Jade Emperor godfather asked, “Weren’t you going to collect a debt? Why are you back?” I nodded, “Yes. After settling the debt, I came back. By the way, godfather, how’s that thing I asked you to do?”
The Jade Emperor godfather smiled at Moon God, saying, “Just completed!” I exclaimed, “Oh! Your efficiency is not bad!” I patted his shoulder. “Now quickly send me down to earth!”
Hearing I was going to earth, the Jade Emperor godfather became excited, snatching the paperwork from my hands and stamping it with his jade seal. He then stuffed an exquisite jade hairpin into my hand and dragged me out of the Lingxiao Hall.
“Going down to earth is simple, just a kick away!” This damn godfather kicked me right in the butt, sending me flying! “The jade hairpin is for contacting me! Call me if you need anything!” I’d rather not have the hairpin than be kicked! What’s the use of my VIP pass? Damn Jade Emperor godfather!
I drew a perfect parabolic arc, experiencing free fall completely. Luckily, landing on the ground was surprisingly painless. Is this how easy reincarnation is?
I opened my eyes, finding myself lying on a hard bed. The room’s furnishings were simple. I was disappointed; looking at the beautiful girl’s face, she must be from a rich family. Who would let such a noble young lady sleep on such a hard bed? I reached beside the pillow – phew, all my gold ingots were intact, and the jade hairpin was still there.
I struggled to sit up and looked down – oh my! No signs of being a woman! Could I be… a man? But the beautiful woman I saw at Yama King’s place was definitely female, and the documents clearly stated she was a woman! What’s going on?
A brother at the door dropped his teacup, snapping me back to reality. The young man seemed excited to see me “resurrect,” rushing over to hug me tightly, as if afraid I’d disappear. “Brother Ling! You’ve finally woken up! You scared me to death!”
I was nearly suffocating from his embrace. Enthusiasm is good, but too much is not. “Hey… could you… let go… I’m dying…” “Oh!” He let go as soon as I spoke. “Little brother, can you tell me my name and what I do?”
The young brother widened his eyes, looking at me as if I were an alien. “Brother Ling, are you… okay? You were just injured by a thief, right? How could you not remember these things?” I roared, “Don’t make me ask again! I absolutely hate trouble, and asking me the same question twice is the thing I hate most!”
“Yes!” He immediately stood at attention, respectfully answering: “Your surname is Ling, given name is Han, and you’re a constable in this yamen!” His response sparked my interest in one question: “How much is my monthly salary?”
“Ten taels.” The two words he uttered made me collapse in frustration. “What?! Only ten taels?! This tiny amount isn’t even enough for me to eat, drink, or even use the toilet for a month!” The young brother frowned. “What can we do? Our yamen is famous for being a ‘Qing Shui Yamen'”
Not only us, even Lord Zhao’s shoes are patched and worn repeatedly.
“Damn! He’s being too thorough in being an honest official! Stealing a bit of silver won’t kill him! Why should we be poor and clean-handed just because he wants to be an honest official?” I was angry. “An honest official is naturally better than a corrupt one, but I still feel unfair for you, Brother Ling!” the young brother said with a tone of regret.
Damn, my martial arts must be amazing! Hehe, I loved what this young brother said! So, I decided – I’m quitting this job! I’ll go to the palace and ask the emperor for a salary! “Young brother, I’m currently suffering from amnesia, so can you tell me your name?” The young brother hesitated, a trace of disappointment seeming to hang on his face, “I’m Xiao Yuan. Brother Ling, how could you forget even me?”
I patted Xiao Yuan’s shoulder: “No, I didn’t forget, I remember now! Okay! I’m leaving, not working here anymore. I’ll come back to see you when I have time! But I advise you to find another job soon! With this work and this salary, you’ll eventually become skin and bones!” I picked up the bundle and jade hairpin and left, turning back at the door: “Young brother! Take care!”
“Slap!” I hit the honest official’s desk, scaring him half to death. Serves him right! How dare he give me such a low salary!
“Give me double this month’s salary! I’m telling you, I’m not working anymore!” The honest official straightened his hat, looking pitiful. “But I’ve already given this month’s silver to my wife!”
I laughed, imitating the King of Hell’s daughter’s eerie laugh. Hmph, trying to play this game with me? Even the King of Hell hides personal money, let alone you! Not giving? I’ll search! I punched him into a national treasure panda, knocking him out.
