This was something I greatly appreciated about him, but what I appreciated more was my curiosity: “Shang? This character doesn’t seem very auspicious.” I could always ask countless questions.
I saw the corners of his mouth slightly lift. This was the first time I had seen him smile since knowing him. “Perhaps… it really is like that.”
I stared at his smile, lost in thought. I was curious why he could smile so enchantingly. I couldn’t help but say out loud: “Shang, you look so good when you smile! But why don’t you like to smile?” As soon as I did, he restrained his smile and said flatly: “Because Father Emperor said that as an emperor, one must have dignity, and emotions must never be shown on one’s face.”
Hearing him say this, I suddenly felt he was pitiful. “So being an emperor is so difficult… How about this! When it’s just the two of us, I won’t call you Your Majesty or use honorifics. You can laugh or cry as you wish. But… please raise my salary a bit…” I clearly saw half of his face darken. I quickly waved my hand to explain: “Oh, I was just joking!”
“Did you actually take it seriously?”
His brow relaxed, and a familiar smile appeared on his face. “Deal?” Though faint, it was enough to make my heart race. “Yes! Deal!”
The next day, I lied about going to the toilet and secretly slipped away. I couldn’t stand the suffocation any longer. While wandering, I overheard some palace maids nearby:
“Did you hear? Since the emperor took a consort, he hasn’t favored any of the ladies!” said Maid A. This made me wonder if the emperor could be a virgin. Maid B nodded, “I’ve heard that! Could the emperor be… into men?” I was shocked.
Maid C chimed in, “It’s possible! I think the emperor has taken a liking to the new guard Ling.” I was furious. Why were they talking about me? I was about to confront them when someone covered my mouth and dragged me away.
I bit his hand in retaliation. He let go, and I was livid. “Who the hell are you?! How dare you stop me!”
“Didn’t your mother teach you what civilized politeness is?!”
He was shaking his injured hand, looking aggrieved: “Do you have a conscience? If I hadn’t stopped you just now, the palace rumors would have spread even more! And you dare to bite me?!”
“Why can’t I? Can’t I bite?”
“Aren’t you afraid of me?” He looked at me in shock. “Why should I be afraid of you? Who are you?”
“You… you don’t even know me?!”
I got angry. I hate people who don’t answer directly: “Don’t make me ask again!”
He swallowed. “Dugu Moran.”
“Are you related to the emperor?”
“Yes, you’re not so ignorant that you don’t even know who this prince is, right?”
I was embarrassed. This guy is a prince; no wonder he’s so arrogant! “It’s not that I’m ignorant, but you look so punchable from any angle that no one would guess you’re a prince.” Although I said this, if I looked carefully, he wasn’t bad-looking.
He was so angry that he started stammering. “Hey? What hey? I’m not called ‘hey’, do you think you’re making a phone call? Let me tell you, kid, I’m your daddy!”
” He was so furious that he couldn’t speak, his face turning extremely ugly.
I seemed to have been out for quite a while. If I didn’t return soon, the Emperor might think I’d fallen into a cesspit. “Kid, your daddy is busy! I’m leaving first. If you have anything, go ask your mother!” I threw this remark at Moran and swaggeringly walked away, sweeping my sleeve. Moran stomped his foot, ‘He… he actually called me kid?! How can he be so despicable?!’
I curled my mouth, wearing the Yama King’s godfather’s Zhenzhi-style smile, ‘Hmph, want to compete with me? You’re still too green!’ It seems my Zhenzhi-style smile has made great progress. I’m looking forward to the day I can smile even more spine-chillingly than the Yama King’s godfather! Moran shouted behind me: “Hey, what’s your name?!”
I laughed: “Kid! Your daddy’s name is Ling Han! Remember it well!”
That night, in the study, Shang was reviewing memorials while I polished ingots. In the imperial garden, Moran lay comfortably on a tree, the moonlight shining on his face. He gazed at the moon for a long time, suddenly recalling the person who had made him grit his teeth that day.
Moran forcefully slapped his own head, shaking it: “What’s wrong with me?! He’s a man!”
“I can’t be falling for him, right?! Wow!” Moran accidentally fell from the tree, landing flat on his back. Looking up at the moon, ripples stirred in his heart: ‘Han, are you thinking of me too?’
“Achoo!” I let out a loud sneeze, frustrated. What situation was this? People sneeze for three reasons—catching a cold, being spoken ill of, or someone thinking about them.
“Han, are you sick?” Shang asked, a hint of anxiety on his brow. I quickly shook my head, “No, no! You’re overthinking!” He didn’t listen, instead putting down his pen, standing up, and placing his hand on my forehead.
My heart was racing, unaccustomed to his gentleness. By reflex, I pushed his hand away: “I told you, it’s nothing.” I felt guilty, not daring to look at him, lowering my head to pretend to be focused on polishing the ingots. Why was he being so kind? Could he really like men? No way?!
Shang seemed disappointed, sitting back in his chair to continue reviewing memorials. I felt the room grow cold, the distance between us widening, my heart overflowing with an unprecedented sense of guilt. Could I have hurt him? Maybe I misunderstood him?
(Alas… this is all the moon’s fault!)
This matter has become so complicated! Our relationship, our distance, and the ongoing stalemate… It’s painful.
[Volume One: Encounter – Chapter Six: Father’s Visit.]
Our relationship remained strained for several days. We barely spoke; he wrote, and I polished. During the morning court today, I stood beside Shang and saw my father making eye signals at me, which embarrassed me. What was he doing?
After the court, my father followed the Emperor into the study. Along the way, he continued with exaggerated gestures. After the Emperor sat, my father pulled me to sit, and we sat in silence for a long time.
Shang then stood up: “Han, since your father is here, you two should spend time together. I’ll go for a walk.” After he left, my father clasped my hand: “Han’er, I heard from the Emperor that you’re sick. Do you still feel unwell? Want to take some time off and go back home to recuperate?”
“Father…!” I interrupted him. I just sneezed; was this necessary? “Han’er, you should quit this job! The palace is complex and treacherous.”
With no one to serve you, your father worries about whether you’re eating or keeping warm. Our family isn’t short of money. Come back to the mansion with me!” His eyes were full of reluctance.
Oh, how I wished to resign and enjoy the life of a young lady at home. But I can’t take someone’s salary for nothing. I’ve only been working for a few months, and the money hasn’t even reached my hands yet! I’m not reluctant to leave because of money, but because of little Shang. My position in his heart is still quite significant. If I leave when he needs me most, it would be unrighteous.
“Father, this is the imperial palace, not an inn. It’s time for Han’er to learn to be independent. Always being served by servants isn’t good for him. What if I’m not there in the future? Then these hardships still have to be endured.” I had no choice but to present my reasoning to persuade him.
Fathers want their daughters to be happy. “Dad, don’t worry, I’ll arrange regular leave to come back and see you. You can go back now, okay?” After my words, Dad softened and agreed.
“Then Han’er, remember to tell the emperor!”
