I grabbed the eight bunches of bananas beside me, quickly peeled about ten, stuffed the fruit in my mouth, and accurately stuck the peels on their faces. They couldn’t see and fell into chaos, their knives clattering to the ground. Hmph, got you! I quickly picked up the knives and threw them far away.
After removing the banana peels, they discovered their weapons were gone, and their hearts sank. They quickly fled. That coordination is your weakness!
Escaping in the same direction makes it easier to deal with you! I’ve always believed in returning one inch of bullying with ten inches! If I don’t take these guys down today, I’m not Ling Xiaochan!
Using my elegant lightness kung fu, I secretly overtook them, crouching on a rooftop. I estimated their landing spot, “Hmm, right here! O(∩_∩)O haha~” I cunningly scattered banana peels on the roof, munching bananas while I watched.
Just as I expected, the pig-heads all fell for it! Everyone collapsed, and I struck a victory pose, kicked them off the roof one by one. It was more satisfying than kicking in the World Cup! I suddenly thought of something fun and jumped down from the roof to get to work.
I stacked the pig-heads into a ‘mountain’, which I called ‘Pig-head Mountain’. To consider the pig-head leader’s dignity, I placed him at the peak. I clapped my dust-free hands, “Mission accomplished!” After all, taking down more than ten people without any weapons is no small feat!
Before long, an old general arrived with a group of soldiers. Seeing the ‘Pig-head Mountain’ I personally constructed, his jaw dropped with a “Clang!” I patted his shoulder: “How’s that, General? Impressive, right?”
The old general looked at me in disbelief: “You took care of these assassins all by yourself?” He could hardly believe it—thousands of imperial guards couldn’t handle this demonic assassin organization, yet this little child managed it, and unarmed. I nodded: “Yes, what about it?”
The old general asked, “How did you manage to deal with them?” I bent down and picked up a banana peel from the ground: “With the peels of eight bunches of bananas!” I felt a bit proud, and that pride was indescribable! Everyone looked at me incredulously, and I quickly added, “I’m not lying! It’s true! Who told these brainless pigs to provoke me?”
Later, I learned that those “pigs” were actually a first-level killer organization from a demonic cult that the military had been chasing for months, planning to assassinate the emperor that night. I had managed to take care of them with just eight bunches of bananas, inadvertently making a great contribution and undermining the old general’s confidence, leaving the imperial guards without face.
[Volume One: Encounter, Chapter Nine: Victory Banquet.]
Due to my meritorious service, someone proposed holding a victory banquet for me. I had no objections since I hadn’t had a proper feast since coming here, and I didn’t want to miss this opportunity. However, the palace rules were strict—one couldn’t forget “etiquette” even at a banquet!
If I had known, I would have opposed it. The tempting food made my mouth water uncontrollably. Shang had warned me not to eat without dignity, as my wolf-like devouring could scare numerous officials and nobles. I could only sit aside, pretending to be indifferent to the food, occasionally picking up dishes to eat with restraint.
I thought, if eating is not allowed, surely drinking is okay? But what strange custom requires one to drink at the banquet? I don’t drink alcohol, but what if someone toasts me? Shang said I can’t refuse a toast, as that would be disrespectful!
It’s a victory banquet, so why is it so dull? I was the one who took down those assassins with eight bunches of bananas, not Shang! Just when I was feeling bored, the old general walked up to me with a cup of wine.
I glanced at him disdainfully and said, “Old man, you’re toasting the wrong person. Go toast the emperor!”
The old general replied, “I’m here to toast Ling Attendant. If Ling Attendant doesn’t mind, would you care to have a drink with me?” I was stunned. A toast for me? The feeling of being toasted is quite nice! “Alright! Ling will have this drink!”
I didn’t care what was in my cup and gulped it down in one go. Ah, is this the legendary top-grade Daughter’s Red wine? Delicious! The scenery before my eyes began to blur, and the old general appeared doubled.
“Ling Attendant truly has a great capacity for alcohol! This old man admires you!” he said, a mix of pride and guilt evident in his voice. I burped, “Uh! Actually, old man, you’re not bad either! Your shadow clone technique is… truly divine!”
I stood up and snatched a wine pot from a palace maid, gulping it down again. As expected, it was Daughter’s Red! I love this wine! I became addicted to drinking and almost finished all the wine at the banquet…
After the banquet, I alternated between drunken rambling and vomiting.
Shang, who had finally escaped, supported me back to his chambers. “Urgh…” I vomited on him again. “I… I want to drink more… urgh…” Shang, at a loss, carried me and said, “Han, pull yourself together. Why drink when you know you can’t handle alcohol?”
He carefully laid me on the bed, gently wiping the vomit from my mouth and cleaning my flushed cheeks with a damp cloth. I turned over, and my hat fell off, letting my black hair cascade down. I felt very hot, as if my body was on fire, and began removing my clothes.
When Shang returned after changing me into clean clothes, he saw me with my hair down, my upper body now only in a thin undergarment. He was stunned for a moment, then turned away, trying not to look. Although he knew Han was a woman, he never expected her to look so captivating without male attire. His heart raced, and he lacked the courage to turn around.
“Urgh…” I vomited again. Shang’s heart ached, but he couldn’t ignore me. Steeling himself, he closed his eyes and walked to the bed, helping me wipe my mouth and face. After finishing, he was about to flee quickly, but I grabbed his hand: “Don’t… don’t leave me. I won’t allow you to leave!”
Shang began to feel troubled, not knowing what to do.
Staying seemed inappropriate, and leaving didn’t feel right either. Just as he hesitated, I pulled him onto the bed…
(Ah, due to Xiao Han’s drunkenness today, I’ll be reporting for everyone… Is Xiao Han really okay like this? To know what happens next, please vote!)
[Volume One – Encounter: Chapter Ten – Exposed. Leaving]
Shang, pulled onto the bed, didn’t dare to move, as if doing so would bring fatal consequences. Han suddenly grabbed his hand and bit it hard: “Damn Mo Ran! Call me daddy!” After shouting, she fell back asleep. Shang felt frustrated, wondering if she was truly asleep and why she was so reckless. He couldn’t understand why she was calling out to him and why he felt so unwilling in his heart.
(The next morning~~ Someone like a ghost drifting by~~)
“Wow!!!!!!” Looking at Shang sleeping beside me, I screamed as my gaze fell on my belly wrap. Shang was startled awake, asking sleepily, “What’s wrong?” I wrapped the blanket around myself: “Did you eat me?” Shang looked curious: “What do you mean by ‘eat you’?”
I trembled, pointing at his nose: “Tell me! What did you do to me last night?!”
” I only remembered going crazy drinking daughter’s red wine at the banquet and then passing out. Beyond that, I couldn’t recall anything. How could I not have thought about the potential consequences of drinking? God! Buddha! Amen! Shang looked at my near-hysterical state and said helplessly, “What could I have done last night? I was the one pulled onto the bed.”
