Xiao Susu smiled softly, hugging her son, finding it difficult to explain her stagnant state to such a young child. She truly had no experience in pursuing someone. Accompanying him to and from work, eating together, visiting scenic spots, working together in the study, occasionally sharing a small kiss… She felt she had completely integrated into his life and was trying to pursue him. Initially, she was truly delighted, discovering he seemed to enjoy her company. But as time passed, she realized he treated her like “family” rather than a “lover”.
If he were a “lover”, he wouldn’t be so polite, so measured, so caring yet lacking that bit of… passion…
Like the intensity that had frightened her seven and a half years ago, or that night a month ago in Shanlinxi—without deliberate provocation, yet erupting like a blazing flame, burning wildly…
She had thought familial and romantic love were the same, but this was clearly a wrong conclusion. Otherwise, why would her heart feel so empty? Living together, receiving his care, yet somehow feeling an underlying unease?
With Feifan not around, her doubts remained unresolved, left only for her to explore. Always wanting to repay his kindness, she found herself constantly seeking more from him.
Could he see she was pursuing him? Or did he see it and deliberately ignore it, deciding to treat her like close family, providing a complete home for their son, having already decided he no longer needed love? Or… no longer needed her?
Why, after opening herself up, must she face so many questions? Allowing herself to think, endless doubts and emotional entanglements followed.
Yet a life as calm as dead water, while safe, was terrifyingly lonely. So she had stepped down from her ivory tower, unable to turn back, afraid of the heart-gnawing loneliness and helplessness. She could only move forward, step by tiny step.
Did Tang Hua still want her? Would he show her love beyond mere familial affection?
