I listened blankly, with nothing remembered in my mind, but the sentence “Unless you die, if you die, perhaps you can return to your previous body.”
“If I die, I can go back?” I repeated dully, as if my soul had been stripped away, with a sudden impulse to die immediately.
In fact, from beginning to end, I never belonged to this world. I shouldn’t have come, shouldn’t have lived here. So everything I’ve endured is my punishment for coming here.
Since Cang Lian left that time, he truly fulfilled Ran Yan’er’s words, as if he was really avoiding something. He never stepped into this bedroom again.
He just ordered people to take care of my daily life meticulously.
I don’t know if he inquired about my condition, but I’m clear that he was avoiding something, perhaps afraid that his persistent attachment had suddenly disappeared.
Days without anyone disturbing were good. I was content being alone in that empty room. There were musical instruments, chess, books, and paintings, but I didn’t want to touch things I wasn’t interested in.
They say when people are idle, they easily get lost in wild thoughts. This is very true. Now, besides my consciousness drifting, I’m idle and thinking randomly, completely falling into a hazy state. I think it’s probably because I’ve been too bored.
A maidservant entered, preparing food for me. Meals are the same to me, without any feeling. I don’t know when I should eat, and fortunately, they serve me, otherwise I might die without anyone knowing.
“Miss, if you’re bored, you can walk around. The King hasn’t restricted your movement. You can go anywhere in the palace!” she kindly advised me.
I looked up at her blankly, my hazy eyes focused on her: “Can I walk around? Then I’ll go out later, it’s quite stuffy here!” I went along with her suggestion.
Looking at her face, I couldn’t tell if it was an illusion or I was near death, but I felt this person talking to me looked like Xiao Wu.
That delicate face, sincere eyes, worried expression.
“Are you Xiao Wu? Hehe… how nice, you’re not dead!” I was already unconscious, laughing foolishly at that blurry figure.
