I’m temporarily settled in Lyon, a French city with 2,000 years of history, where ancient Roman, medieval, and modern industrial civilizations merge. Almost all cultural heritage here is still the stage for people’s lives. Here, I’m both capturing scenes and enjoying myself; it should help with prenatal education, right? Gao Miao can easily find me because I need to submit my drafts, but someone else has a hard time finding me. He says, “Do you know…” That’s his opening. “I don’t know.” “Of course, you don’t know. Qi Yufeng has been quite manic recently.” Every time Gao Miao comes, he’s forced to cook for me, looking handsome in an apron, busy in the kitchen, talking to me, a true homemaker. Such scenes are heartwarming, and I sigh every time, “Brother San Shui, marrying you would definitely be a blessing!” And then he, he would come out with a cleaver, “Marry your head!” Chasing me to chop… “Are you even a woman! Too lazy to cook! Eating takeout all the time is unhealthy! You heartless single mother!” “Brother Gao! For the sake of my unborn child, please put down the cleaver!” “Tell me! Are you going to cook the nutritional meals I prescribed?” “I’ll cook! I’ll cook!” “Will you dare to sleep on your stomach?” “No! No!” “Alright, come sit down.” He pointed at the couch beside him with the cleaver, sitting down himself. “You, you’re not cooking anymore?” A fierce glare from him made me shut up and resignedly sit down…
“I more or less understand the relationship between you and Qi Yufeng.”… “A few days ago, he went to find Jin Yang.”… “He outright asked where you were hidden, and Jin Yang didn’t understand the situation. Qi Yufeng told him to name his price, saying he would pay double to buy you back.” Damn! He really thinks I’m a commodity! Gao Miao patted my back to calm me down, “Don’t get excited, I haven’t finished.” “At that time, Jin Yang probably understood what was going on, he refused, even stirred up trouble, which led to Qi Yufeng hitting him, now he has panda eyes…” Here, both of us couldn’t help but laugh. I said, why does this good-looking doctor keep provoking Qi Yufeng to beat him up? A masochist? I chuckled mischievously, patting Little San Shui, “Your little Jin Yang seems to enjoy it~ You need to work harder…” Before I could finish, he slapped me with the back of the knife, and I was in disbelief. He actually hit a pregnant woman? Even gangsters have rules: no hitting the elderly, pregnant women, or children, but he, he did it! I fainted on the couch in shock… After kicking my upturned butt, he went back into the kitchen to continue chopping vegetables… I got up, hiding behind the kitchen door, watching him. Er Yu, remember him! “I just wanted to say, Jin Yang asked me to tell you he’s on your side. Who told that guy to be so arrogant.” I think it’s him who’s more arrogant, this strange doctor who once caused me so much trouble, now joining my support team?
Walk gently, I must walk gently. There’s a child in my belly. On the damp street, I open my umbrella. It’s going to rain. The raindrops make a sound as they hit the umbrella, and the pedestrians continue on their way, accustomed to the rain that comes when it wants.
Occasionally, there were a few startled cries and hurried footsteps as people dashed to find shelter under eaves, looking worriedly at the sky where the rain was coming down in sheets. They must have been tourists. Living in France, one must get used to this weather. Once, I was one of those who would walk in the rain, knowing that the sun would soon come out to dry my wet hair. But now, my body isn’t just mine alone; I must stay healthy. I always carry an umbrella when I go out. A taxi stopped in front of me, the window rolled down, and the driver asked with a thick Lyon accent, “Are you Miss Liu?” “Yes,” I nodded, and he got out to help with my luggage, politely holding an umbrella for me, opening the car door, and helping me in before returning the umbrella. I thanked him. Taxi drivers here are all like this, and very “loyal.” The driver you book will not pick up other passengers en route; they make sure you’re the one who booked the ride before letting you in.
Glancing outside the window, I saw the apartment where I had lived for over half a year, and the withered plant on the windowsill silently bidding me farewell. I moved into a hospital, cutting off contact with everyone, quietly, alone, waiting for the separation of two lives, welcoming his birth. During this time, I once again deeply felt helpless. I knew there was no one, yet I still strained to listen for any sounds around me. But there was only the sound of nurses’ and doctors’ footsteps, no familiar faces, no one I wanted to see, no one I could rely on, not a single soul. A sense of loss and helplessness overwhelmed me like never before. I couldn’t cry; since I chose to become a single mother, I must face it, try, experience, and accept it because Er Yu only has me, and I only have him. This is what it means to be mutually dependent. I had once been dependent on my sister, living carefree, thinking I was happy, but I was merely the one being protected. She sacrificed so much for me, never letting me see her cry, hiding her tears. I naively thought she was as carefree as I was, until now, when everything has shattered. But for you, I must learn, just like my sister did for me. I will bear all the burdens; you only have the duty to be happy, understand?
Just before giving birth, the nurses and doctors wheeled me into the delivery room, urging me to relax, telling me it would be over soon. Yet, in this tense moment, my mind played an advertisement for a game: In a delivery room, a woman was panting hard, doctors cheering her on, and then, with one mighty push, the baby shot out at high speed, the umbilical cord snapping from the tension, the baby crashing through the window, flying through the clouds, aging rapidly, its sparse baby hair growing thick then thinning again to baldness, its body descending as it aged, until it finally landed in a grave, wrinkled and toothless, with liver spots. “Live is short. Play more. Bye.” But the real process of childbirth… it was excruciating! With my eyes tightly shut, I pushed with all my might, tears and cries meaningless now, I was just afraid I’d crush Er Yu’s head! That pain was truly incomparable; no wonder they say that mothers who have given natural birth don’t call anything else pain. That’s why I chose natural birth, but now I’m even more afraid of pain! Once bitten, twice shy! But if it’s for him, to touch that little wrinkled bundle again, I’d do it.
