He was still sleeping, his tiny mouth slightly open. When I got close, I could feel the warm, soft breaths, and the sweet scent of a newborn. If I lightly placed my finger near his mouth, he would latch on and suckle, tickling me. He’s mine now. One day, a month later, I was hanging laundry in the front yard of the house I rented, while Er Yu was enjoying the spring sunshine in his crib nearby, his little feet kicking. Occasionally, I would tease him, and he would laugh, toothless, “So ugly…” I pouted and frowned at him, and he laughed harder, flailing his arms and legs, so adorable. “How can you say your own son is ugly?” I turned to see Gao Miao. “You’re here?” “Yeah,” he looked at me for a long time to make sure I was okay, then walked over to play with Er Yu. That’s when I noticed someone else behind him, standing still at the door, staring at me, eyes red. “You also…” came. She walked towards me, step by step, and slapped me hard across the face. “Hua Hua…” “You! How could you do this!” Her tears and hoarse voice spilled out. “What do you think we are to you!” Er Yu started crying too, two women and a baby, what a mess. “You’ve scared him, let’s talk inside,” Gao Miao picked up Er Yu and took him to the garden. Hua Hua’s wet eyes followed them, and I knew what she was thinking, but I had my reasons and my determination. “I’ve made it through, don’t worry so much,” I said, finding it hard to imagine such a tall, mature woman pouting in front of me… “How did you manage to stay so skinny right after giving birth?” “It doesn’t matter as long as he’s chubby and healthy.” “I’ve decided to stay here and take care of you, you can’t refuse! At least for two months, until your body recovers. You have no idea, when Gao Miao told us you’d disappeared, we were relieved, thinking Qi Yufeng had found you…” “So you knew he had put a tracker in your phone and didn’t tell me!” Good thing I was cautious, never talking for more than 10 seconds on any call, or I’d have been caught! “Uh, your house has a buyer.” Trying to change the subject? “The buyer is Qi Yufeng.” I already knew! “Uh, hehe, yeah…” “You guys are really my good friends.” “He offered more than the original price!” “OH! Really? Then it’s settled~” Both women laughed in a somewhat nauseated way. Life forces one to adapt… baby formula is expensive, and my little one, he’s a fish swimming in milk!
When we arrived in Sweden, I felt like I was at my breaking point, though it was just a bad cold. There was a fragility that left me at a loss; I was just… worried I might disappear, lose my weight, unable to touch anything… I held Er Yu tightly as he slept.
