Only after the door silently closed did Xiao Susu’s tears fall again. She didn’t know why her heart suddenly ached, just like the unbearable pain when her parents died.
She didn’t know if this was love, or merely her dependency speaking, but now she finally understood that regardless of her feelings toward him, she had invested too much hope, yearning for his embrace, his support, never wanting him to let go of her hand.
She didn’t want to return to days filled with emptiness and despair. Living in this world must mean having something in one’s heart, being needed by others, right? Living passionately each day with some expectation.
She had never dared to hope for anything, always obediently enduring without considering whether she could desire something, demand what she was willing to bear, and even refuse instructions forcibly given to her because she disliked them.
She wanted him! Though unclear exactly what she wanted—perhaps tenderness, perhaps love—he was unaware.
What could she do? What could she possibly do? Perhaps he no longer wanted to waste time on her!
Recalling the past seven years, she desperately regretted repeatedly missing opportunities, though not intentionally. When he tried to offer his heart, hoping she would accept, she only panicked, mistaking him for a bad person and unintentionally trampling his feelings. Now, he might have already given his heart to another woman who knew how to love and respond to him.
Remorse and self-loathing overwhelmed her. She covered her face, tears flowing between her fingers—punishment she deserved.
Who taught her to always miss opportunities, walking with the most uncoordinated steps, repeatedly receiving heartache…
Flowers bloom out of season, wind blows yet flowers remain unaware. Each heartbroken, swept into merciless flowing light, what can sighs resolve?!
At 4:30 AM, Dufei Fan’s dying voice came through the phone: “If you want him, go pursue him. If you feel you’ve crushed his heart, carefully pick up the pieces and mend them. If you feel you’ve let him down, compensate. It’s not complicated, just chase him. I… I’m going to sleep, don’t say I’m not… enough… of a… friend… beep…”
