“You don’t want to! Have you ever tried to live one more day? No! You just want to be relieved quickly, to move into that damn cemetery! Go ahead and die, I’ll take the child and die with you, we’ll all be relieved together!”
Yuluo was already by his side, she lay on top of him and began to cry. After crying for a while, she raised her head, “Fang Yuzhe, everything I said is true, I’ve already decided to do it.”
“No matter how you push me, I’m powerless!”
“You can do it, I believe you can!”
“Tell me how I can do it! I’ll do everything you say! But if there’s still no way, you and the child should live well—”
“No! There’s no room for negotiation. Either you live, or we all go to the other world together.”
“Are you crazy? Are you trying to drive me to death?”
“What if I drive you to death? Your life isn’t worth much in your own eyes anyway!”
Yuluo firmly refused to let Fang Yuzhe stay in the hospital, and even Fang’s father couldn’t persuade her.
“Dad, let me go back.”
On the first night back home, Yuluo hugged Fang Yuzhe in bed and spoke some nonsensical words.
“Recently, I’ve been reading medical books. One book says the human body is like a country, the brain is the central government, blood vessels are transportation hubs, the digestive system is an energy station, the liver and kidneys are sewage treatment plants… basically, each organ corresponds to a department crucial to the country’s survival.”
Fang Yuzhe didn’t understand her meaning, he was only worried she might do something foolish and didn’t know how to dissuade her.
“If it’s a country, it has an army. Your body has an army too – white blood cells, phagocytes, and other powerful things I don’t know the names of! They can kill invaders and protect your life!”
“Maybe my army has been defeated.”
“No! It’s because you, the general, don’t know how to encourage them. You must believe they will win, that they are invincible, just like you said about weeds, with tenacious vitality!”
“I know you really want me to live—”
Yuluo stopped talking. She shook a small plastic bottle full of pills near Fang Yuzhe’s ear, “Know what this is? One hundred sleeping pills. Now let’s play a wake-up game. Every morning, I’ll wait for you to wake me up. Otherwise, I’ll swallow these pills and sleep with the child to keep you company!”
Xia Yuluo got out of bed.
Fang Tiancheng was sweating outside. “Yuluo, you can’t do this!”
“It’s nothing, Uncle Fang. I’ll prepare some breakfast for Xiao Zhe. It’s almost lunchtime!”
Fifteen days was the limit set by the doctor for Fang Yuzhe. He was in good spirits, perhaps forgetting the significance of this day, or perhaps deliberately acting to make Yuluo happy.
That night before bed, Yuluo warmed milk for Fang Yuzhe to help him sleep, and he obediently went to bed early. Just before falling asleep, he kept hugging her and said a sentence that touched Yuluo – “If I can wake up tomorrow, I can wake up the day after tomorrow.”
Xia Yuluo knew he remembered this day. He finally said a confident word.
Only those who have experienced it know how thrilling the daily wake-up game can be.
On the sixteenth day, Fang Yuzhe woke up, not more painful than previous days, so he was happy, feeling that heaven had granted him an extra twenty-four hours through his own efforts.
Heaven’s generosity continued in their fearful sincerity – the seventeenth day, eighteenth day, twenty-third day, thirtieth day… The time had doubled the doctor’s expectations, so they felt there were infinite possibilities, and the small victory doubled their confidence.
But on the thirty-third afternoon, Fang Yuzhe suddenly started having headaches, then violent vomiting, quickly becoming so weak he could barely stand. When Fang Tiancheng wanted to take him to the hospital, he refused, weakly holding Yuluo’s hand, saying: “I swear I tried, I really did my best—”
The doctor was found at the Fang home and quickly diagnosed acute food poisoning, possibly from problematic seafood at lunch.
After an IV drip, the symptoms gradually eased, and Fang Yuzhe slept and woke up smoothly.
Xia Yuluo sat by his bed, unable to stand up several times, her legs weak like noodles. When Fang Tiancheng came to see his son, he hugged her sympathetically, seeing her trembling slightly, her face even paler than his son’s.
The next day, Fang Yuzhe fully recovered. Unwilling to stay in the room, he asked Yuluo to take him to the yard. As they reached the stairs, she suddenly felt intense abdominal pain, followed by warm liquid flowing from her.
When Xia Yuluo looked down and saw the quickly seeping liquid was blood, she already knew what had happened.
The housekeeper behind her, seeing this horrifying scene, suddenly screamed – “Yuluo, you—”
“It’s nothing,” Xia Yuluo calmly interrupted, her face showing extreme nervousness.
“What’s wrong?” Fang Yuzhe asked beside her.
“Oh, I cut my arm.”
“Where?”
“Don’t touch it. Auntie, please help Xiao Zhe downstairs. I’ll apply some iodine.”
As soon as Fang Yuzhe’s arm left Yuluo, she held the stair railing and squatted down, her lips white and bloodless.
Under Xia Yuoluo’s request, the entire family kept her miscarriage strictly confidential. Fang Yuzhe had no concept of pregnancy, and when Yuoluo said her body would only show changes at six months, he believed her without doubt.
This life-and-death game that concerned his survival consumed Fang Yuzhe. He would often sit silently for half a day or even a whole day without saying much.
“What are you thinking about?” Yuoluo asked, slightly worried.
“Nothing, I’m just fighting without distractions,” he would always say casually, not seeming depressed.
Now, Yuoluo no longer needed to shake the medicine bottle every night to wake Fang Yuzhe. More often, he would kiss her before bed, saying he’d wake her in the morning.
Sometimes Yuoluo would feel afraid of this peaceful life, always worried that happiness would suddenly stop. She hoped they would still have a chance, and although the doctor said she shouldn’t get pregnant this year, she was prepared to take the risk.
As for his condition, apart from blindness and that one instance of fainting, Fang Yuzhe had no pain or excessive sleepiness. But at least it could be determined that his inner peace was profound, perhaps deeper than those who claimed to be enlightened.
Fang Yuzhe once told Yuoluo at dusk: “I’m beginning to understand respect for life.”
Yuoluo felt this wasn’t about clinging to life, but a deeper meaning perhaps only those who have fought with death would understand.
Their wake-up game continued, waking up each morning with gratitude and hoping for the next morning. Day after day, fifty days had passed, and the previous deadline seemed ridiculous. Fang Yuzhe jokingly asked Yuoluo how long she thought he could persist.
“The next morning is tomorrow, and life has countless tomorrows.”
Xia Yuluo was overjoyed. However, Fang Yuzhe looked unhappy, “Yuluo, isn’t this what they call a final burst of light?”
Xia Yuluo’s face instantly changed, and she angrily pushed him – “What did you say? Fang Yuzhe, apologize right now and take back what you just said!”
“Why are you angry again?”
“Are you going to say it or not?”
“Okay, okay, I said it, I was wrong, I was wrong! But I really did see something just now!”
Those who had already walked to the dining table waiting to eat quickly returned.
“What’s going on, making Yuluo cry. Don’t cry, sister-in-law. It’s Fang Yuzhe’s birthday today, just tolerate him this once!”
Xia Yuluo wiped her eyes and said angrily: “Next time I definitely won’t tolerate you!” Then she still hooked Fang Yuzhe’s arm and helped him walk to the side.
A male student shook his head and said: “My girlfriend gets angry and doesn’t talk to me for three weeks. Fang Yuzhe, I’m so jealous of you!”
