Lai Hui pushed open the hospital room door, and a burst of laughter came from inside. She stepped back to check the room number, confirming it was correct. Puzzled, she walked in to see Xie Jiayi standing by the window with his arms crossed, a smile still lingering on his lips, while Xu Ya was sitting next to Xiao Yu, who was massaging her mother’s hands, laughing at something. Xiao Yu, sharp-eyed, noticed Lai Hui at the door and greeted her with a smile, “Hui is here!” Three pairs of eyes turned to her simultaneously. Jiayi, seeing her confusion, walked over, took her hand, and led her to Lai Ruoyun, saying, “I came by two days ago, didn’t I, Aunt Yun?” “How did you know this place?” Lai Hui subtly withdrew her hand, relieved to see her mother seemed normal. “You didn’t tell me where, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find out, right?” Jiayi turned to Xu Ya and added, “Xu Ya insisted on visiting Aunt Yun, so we came today.” Xu Ya gave her a sideways glance, jokingly scolding, “You brat, you didn’t tell us about such a big deal and hid away. I haven’t even settled the score with you!” Lai Ruoyun, rarely in a good mood, worried that Lai Hui might be upset, quickly said, “Why bring that up now? I didn’t expect to live long enough to see you both. Hey, Xu Ya, tell me another couple of your jokes!” Xu Ya grinned, addressing Lai Hui, “Alright, I won’t hold it against you — Aunt Yun, if you’re happy, I’ll come every day to tell you jokes until you ask Xiao Yu to kick me out, how about that?” Lai Hui playfully smacked his head, “No need to wait for Xiao Yu, I’ll kick you out myself!” Jiayi chimed in, “I’ll get the broom!” Xu Ya huffed, “You two are ganging up on me!” Then, turning to Lai Ruoyun, he said, “Aunt Yun, tell me, isn’t it unfair that they’ve been bullying me since school, and it’s still the same all these years?”
Lai Ru Yun burst into laughter, saying, “That’s ridiculous. No matter how many years pass, as long as Xu Ya is around, there’s always joy!” Jia Yi said to Lai Ru Yun, “He’s just good with words!” Xu Ya retorted with dissatisfaction, “And what about you? You stay silent but take all the advantages!” Lai Hui burst into laughter, saying, “This is what they call biting whatever you want, and ending up with a mouthful of fur, right, Mom?” Jia Yi pinched her neck from behind, and Xu Ya glared at her menacingly. Both of them yelled at her simultaneously, “Stay out of it, go do whatever you’re supposed to be doing!”
It seemed like they were still in that dim little living room where a Qiong Yao drama played on the TV, with a plate of sliced watermelon on the small table, its red flesh and sweet aroma filling the air. Xu Ya would tell jokes, making her and her mother choke on their laughter, while Xie Jia Yi would slyly bury his head and devour the watermelon, leaving the most seeds in front of his seat by the time they left. Their mother would collect these seeds, wash and dry them, then salt and fry them for snacks for their next visit. It wasn’t always watermelon; sometimes it was peaches or plums, brought by their mother or themselves. That small living room was always filled with the scent of fruit and laughter.
Her vision began to blur; Xu Ya’s and Jia Yi’s smiling faces seemed veiled in a white mist, drifting away, becoming increasingly ethereal. Her head throbbed painfully. If one has never experienced happiness, they would not know pain. It was because of those vivid memories of happiness that the sudden loss felt so jarring; it was because these memories were stirred up that she doubted whether she had been living at all these years. Suddenly, a hand she knew all too well gripped hers from behind—gentle, delicate, the hand that had always been there to comfort her in times of sorrow. She blinked her moist eyes but did not pull away this time.
At ten, Jia Yi and Xu Ya said their goodbyes. Lai Ru Yun said, “Wait for Xiao Hui outside, she’ll leave with you.” They nodded, exchanged some words of care, and left. Lai Ru Yun watched Lai Hui tidying up the bedding and said, “Jia Yi broke up with his girlfriend. That child probably won’t give up. Xiao Hui, think it through.” Lai Hui paused, her hand on the blanket, and forced a calm tone, “There’s nothing to think about; it’s been years.” Lai Ru Yun closed her eyes, saying no more. As Lai Hui was about to leave with her bag after cleaning the hospital room, Lai Ru Yun called out to her retreating figure, “Xiao Hui, if you really aren’t considering it, throw away the photo in your wallet!”
Lai Hui’s figure trembled, and she turned back, asking, “How did you know?” “A while back, I asked Xiao Yu to buy something; your money was just short, so I had her take some from your wallet, and she saw that photo—the one you once displayed at home and then threw in the trash. I noticed you’ve even laminated it for protection. Xiao Hui, if you’ve really forgotten, why keep it?” She paused before continuing, “Though you threw it away in front of me, your uncle saw you rummaging through the trash that night. The hospital bins are so dirty, Xiao Hui. He saw you, wearing a mask and gloves, crying as you searched through that filth; he couldn’t bear to ask what was wrong.”
Lai Hui could say no more, staring at her mother who had exposed her secret. Her heart felt pierced, all the bitterness and sorrow flooding out, unstoppable. In the hospital corridor, Xu Ya leaned against the wall, his thumb tucked into his jeans pocket, the four visible fingers tapping his thigh gently. Jia Yi asked, “How’s Xiao Yu doing?” Xu Ya avoided his gaze, replying awkwardly, “She’s fine!” Jia Yi then asked, “Are you giving up on Lai Hui?” Xu Ya looked up with a bitter smile. “I’ve never given up on her. No matter how many years pass, she’s always in my heart, but I can’t force her. Loving her doesn’t mean she has to be in my arms. As long as I can see her smile when she’s happy and comfort her when she’s sad, that’s enough.” “What about Xiao Yu?” Jia Yi suddenly asked. “You know?” Xu Ya forced another bitter smile. “I guessed. That day, you came to my place early in the morning with breakfast but didn’t say why you were there. I guessed then!” Jia Yi didn’t show anger or betrayal, just calmly stated the fact. “After you fought with her, she often came to me, first to complain, then… we are both pitiful people unable to find love. So, I won’t apologize to you. As for whether we’ll be together, we haven’t discussed it yet.”
Xu Ya turned away, his forehead against the cool wall, unsure of what was happening. The world seemed chaotic. He had come to A City to find Lai Hui, only to realize he was still watching her from behind, like a shadow. His unexpected connection with his cousin’s friend was beyond his control; perhaps it was mutual pity for their loneliness, or primal urges deep within, or simply the comfort of being close and sharing warmth. Xu Ya’s head hit the wall hard, tears streaming from his wide eyes. “You can despise me, but I hate you too. Not only do you mess with Lai Hui, forcing me to back off, but you also don’t cherish Xiao Yu. I can’t stand seeing her cry, can’t stand seeing her abandoned. I hate that she sleeps quietly at my place during the day, only to rush back to you when you’re off work.” He turned abruptly, his eyes bloodshot, grabbing Jia Yi’s collar, his teeth gritted. “We’re the closest cousins, yet here we are, two men sharing one woman, two men loving the same woman. Do you know how vile this is? I really hate you! But I also hate myself for not being you! If I were you, I wouldn’t have left Lai Hui; if I were you, I wouldn’t hurt Xiao Yu now, or go after Lai Hui again!” He pushed Jia Yi away and walked off without looking back. A nurse passed by, indifferent, as scenes of life and death played out daily in the hospital. A man in tears was nothing out of the ordinary.
