“It was that bastard who harassed me, I didn’t let him succeed, and I certainly didn’t steal her man!” Zhang Lin sat on a hospital bench, tears still fresh on her face, clutching Lai Hui’s hand tightly, she exclaimed excitedly, “I really didn’t steal her man, my mother stole someone else’s man, I would never do such a thing!” After her outburst, she buried her face in her hands and sobbed. Lai Hui hugged her compassionately; when her parents had divorced, it was public knowledge, and this child had grown up amidst rumors and gossip, likely enduring a lot of humiliation from a young age. Lai Hui thought about how she and her mother had always been objects of pity in the neighborhood, with teachers also looking out for her, but what about this girl? People probably thought ‘like mother, like daughter.’
“Lin, stop crying, I believe you, but you shouldn’t be hanging out with those people; they’re not good!” Lai Hui said.
“I know most of them aren’t good, but I’m not smart, I’m bad at school, my family can’t afford to send me to college, my parents are always fighting, and my classmates look down on me. For a while, I was so lonely I almost forgot how to speak. So, I ended up hanging out with them, thinking, what’s the difference between me and them?” Lai Hui listened, gently wiping away Zhang Lin’s tears with a tissue. From her eyes, Lai Hui saw a mixture of surprise and admiration. She smiled and said, “There’s a difference between you and them. At least today you knew to protect me, but you were too reckless. If something had happened, your life would have been ruined.”
“I was desperate; she was stronger than me, I couldn’t beat her. When I saw her about to slam you onto the table, I just reacted and hit her with a stool. I’ve never hit anyone before; I learned that from watching others fight.” Zhang Lin turned her face away in shame, whispering, “Actually, when I was very young, I always remembered I had a cousin, and when you finally came back, I couldn’t just stand by and watch someone hit you!”
“Hmm?” Lai Hui responded, surprised.
“My parents’ relationship was actually bad. They said my dad regretted the divorce because he lost his job. When they fought, he blamed my mom for ruining his life. I wasn’t good at studying, always at the bottom of the class, and my dad was embarrassed when he went to parent-teacher meetings. He’d come home and yell at me, saying my mom gave birth to a disappointment, unlike Aunt Yun’s son who was always first or second and never caused any trouble. He also scolded me, telling me to learn from you and not to have a pig’s brain.” As Zhang Lin spoke, tears of sadness rolled down her face. Then she laughed, “Some classmates came to ask me if you were my cousin. I nodded, and they were all so envious. I remember when you graduated from middle school and came back to our school to give a talk. You stood on the stage in the auditorium, sharing your study experiences. I listened so intently, I remembered everything you said, especially that one line – ‘We should find joy in learning; if we can’t, then don’t force it, find your true interest outside of school.'”
Lai Hui vaguely recalled that incident, but she didn’t remember that particular line clearly. As a teenager, she often acted out to get attention and got scolded by the principal for such remarks.
“What did you think when you heard me say that?”
“I thought it was spot on. I’m not cut out for studying, so I found my interest in singing. I practiced a lot at home, but because my grades were bad, I never got a chance to perform at school events. After high school, my parents couldn’t afford to send me to study singing. Then I met those people, and since singing at their KTV was free, I spent all my time there.”
Lai Hui fell silent, understanding that Zhang Lin admired her to an almost fantastical degree, perhaps because she lacked familial care and peer friendship, she had fallen into a world of her own fairy tales, hoping that the ‘perfect’ cousin would one day notice her and care for her, thus remembering and living by her words as if they were gospel.
She gave a self-deprecating smile, knowing that if Zhang Lin knew she had done things she would never do, her dream would be shattered, and worse, she might become disillusioned and distrustful of everyone.
“Do you want to learn singing?” she asked Zhang Lin.
“I dream of it, but I know it’s just a dream, so I only think about it!”
“If you cut ties with that crowd, I’ll send you to learn singing!”
Zhang Lin’s eyes, so similar to hers, widened in disbelief.
“But I’ll only cover your tuition. You’ll have to earn your living expenses yourself. Are you willing to go?” Lai Hui laid down the condition.
Zhang Lin touched her face, realizing her dream was within reach, and finally nodded.
“I’m willing, I’ll pay you back after I start working!”
“That’s for the best!” Lai Hui grabbed a lock of Zhang Lin’s blonde hair, frowning, “But dye your hair back, don’t advertise that you’re a delinquent!”
“I’ll dye it back tonight. What color do you like? Should I dye it the same color as yours?” Zhang Lin asked, her voice humble like a devout disciple seeking guidance from a deity, her eyes seeing Lai Hui as even more divine than any statue of Buddha.
“Dye it black.” Lai Hui’s voice suddenly turned cold. Seeing Zhang Lin’s startled reaction, she softened her tone and added, “One day, my hair will all turn black too!”
