“Everyone would care. If you love me, you’d care about my past relationships too, but Lai Hui, I’m not the naive young man I was in my early twenties anymore. Now I know what’s most important to me. As long as you’re by my side, nothing else matters, really!” He separated her hands, holding them in his own, and continued, “I’ve thought it through, Lai Hui, marry me. I’ve applied for an overseas assignment from the company. Let’s go to a new place to start a new life, and when people here forget about you, we’ll come back. Okay?” As he spoke, he was already kneeling on one knee, his face pressed against her palm.
Lai Hui’s heart skipped a beat; she hadn’t expected Jia Yi to think so thoroughly. How could she not be moved? Going to a new place, starting a new life, she could forget Yu Qian. “Lai Hui, I know you still have feelings for him, but I don’t mind if you use me to forget him. Life’s road is long; you once loved me, and one day you will again!” Jia Yi said, his tears falling into her palm, hot at first, then slowly cooling. “I love you, Lai Hui. I can remember everything about you. I want to love you well while we’re young, so that when we’re old, I can savor the memories. Please, marry me!” She also cried silently; such words would move anyone, let alone someone she had once loved. She thought that one day, when she recalled Yu Qian, he would be just a vague outline, while Jia Yi and their children would be by her side. Wouldn’t that be happiness? If she didn’t agree to Jia Yi, if she didn’t try, how would she live the rest of her days? Yu Qian’s image was still so clear in her mind, impossible to erase, and she would have to face his happiness with someone else alone. How desolate would that be? If someone recognized her identity one day, would Yu Qian drive her out of the city for his child? Her head ached from these thoughts, and she slid off the sofa. Jia Yi caught her just in time, holding her tightly. Lai Hui cried in his embrace as if mourning the love that had passed.
After a long while, she calmed down and nodded to Jia Yi. “Let’s leave, together!” The Kassel branch in Germany was short of staff, and Jia Yi had already applied, awaiting approval from the head office. To avoid suspicion, Lai Hui resigned from her job, and Jia Yi contacted Kassel University to give her a simple student life again. That city with its castles, knights, and small rural towns was full of dreamlike charm and would surely bring them happiness. Once life had hope, pain healed quickly. Lai Hui was busy learning the language, looking up school information, and helping Jia Yi with his overseas arrangements. Yu Qian was temporarily pushed to the back of her mind; when she occasionally thought of him, she’d glance at the diamond ring on her ring finger, engraved with her name, and she’d shake her head to forcefully remove him from her thoughts.
Jia Yi was also busy, but no matter how busy, he would always pick up Lai Hui at meal times to eat with her; after dinner, he’d hold her while they shopped for things they couldn’t buy abroad; on weekends, they’d take Zhang Lin to hike or picnic. It was the perfect time for spring outings, with Zhang Lin and Lai Hui preparing lunch and snacks, while Jia Yi drove them to the mountains for a view. It was as if time had reversed, and they were back to five years ago, when they were in different cities for college yet inseparable. Jia Yi’s happiness was self-evident, and Lai Hui—should be happy too.
The car stopped downstairs, and Lai Hui and Zhang Lin got out. Zhang Lin, understanding the situation, took the picnic basket and said, “Sis, I’ll head upstairs first. You can come up later, no problem, I’ll leave the door open for you!” Lai Hui playfully slapped her head, scolding, “You little one, always talking nonsense, go on up!” Jia Yi, laughing, added, “Your mouth, no matter how many times you get hit, you never learn. Alright, go on up!” Zhang Lin stuck out her tongue and scampered into the building with the basket.
Jia Yi then circled around the car to stand in front of Lai Hui, tenderly touching her face. “You must be exhausted today!” Lai Hui shook her head. “Not really, it was beautiful there, I had a lot of fun!” “Good!” Jia Yi placed his hand on her shoulder. “The head office has approved it; the transfer order will come down soon, probably next month we can set off!” “Really? That fast?” Lai Hui said with a smile. “I thought it would take much longer. I’ve seen some pictures, Kassel is really beautiful, I can’t wait!” She spoke quickly, as if she wished to leave immediately. “It won’t be long. It won’t be easy to come back once we leave, so let’s make the most of these days.” Jia Yi pulled her closer, then said, “Alright, you’ve walked so much today, you must be tired. Go upstairs and rest!” He kissed her forehead for a long time before letting go, gently turning her towards the building.
Lai Hui took a few steps, turned back to wave goodbye, then looked down at the ring on her finger as she climbed the stairs. Today was the day she and Yu Qian had agreed upon, so she thought of him the most. She kept turning the ring, reminding herself not to think of him anymore.
After Jia Yi’s car drove off, a man emerged from a black sedan in the parking lot. He had one hand in his trouser pocket, looking up at the lit window where Lai Hui’s silhouette could be seen moving back and forth on the balcony. He watched for a long time, his neck getting sore, but the figure never came out. He stubbornly kept his head up, looking at the starless sky, his hand clenched into a fist, remembering Secretary Lin’s words — “I heard she got engaged.” The room was lit only by a desk lamp, casting colorful lights onto the glass table. Lai Hui stared unblinkingly at the “Lover’s Tears” necklace in her hand, watching the transparent drops fall one by one until she felt she had cried enough. Then she put it back around her neck. This was the only thoughtful gift Yu Qian had ever given her, and she didn’t want to take it off before leaving the country.
Opening her diary, she picked up the note with two fingers: “I am at Nanling, always!” It felt as if he was speaking these words directly to her, each one so vivid. As if recalling something, she got out of bed, changed her clothes, and rushed out of the room.
The city was still dazzling with lights. Sitting in the taxi, looking at the city she was about to leave, she suddenly felt the past few years had been like a dream. Yu Qian was just a figure in her dream, and she was still trapped in this dream, unable to wake up. Once awake, she would go back to the life she had planned with Jia Yi. But Yu Qian, who had made her feel so inferior and caused her such deep pain, was just a dream. Should she forget him? Even if she did, wouldn’t she regret it when she remembered the dream that never came true?
After more than half an hour, the taxi stopped. She paid, put on her coat, and got out. Crossing the road to a sidewalk paved with square tiles, there were few pedestrians at this time, and the place was eerily quiet. The sound of her shoes tapping on the pavement was unhurried, and the air was chilly. The cotton trees and bougainvilleas had no scent, their red flowers under the dim streetlights looked desolate.
