Slap! The small orange-yellow bedside lamp glows softly. Qin Na looks at her worriedly.
“Food?”
“Huh?”
“Didn’t you say you were hungry and went to buy food?” Qin Na’s eyes sparkle in the lamplight.
“Food?” Yu Xiaoyao pauses, “Oh! I was so hungry I ate on the way.” She turns her face away.
“Xiaoyao.”
“Go to sleep.” Yu Xiaoyao walks to the bed, turns off the light. “I’ll wash my face and come back to keep you company.”
“Xiaoyao, if something’s on your mind, tell me. We’re good sisters, don’t keep everything bottled up.” Qin Na stares in the darkness.
“No, nothing. What would I hide from you?” The nasal sounds in her voice betray her. Yu Xiaoyao grabs the basin and quickly opens the door, tears falling instantly.
Burying her head in cold water, so no one will see me cry.
Song Chu carries his coat under dim street lights, with sparse vehicles passing by an overpass. She’s not here. Have we lost each other?
“Wow! Xiaoyao! Wow!”
Yu Xiaoyao wraps herself tightly, ignoring the noise.
“It’s snowing!” More excited than Shenzhou 7’s launch.
“Oh.” Yu Xiaoyao lazily raises her eyes. What a beautiful snow!
“Why did you drag me out?” she stands at the roadside, angry. It’s so cold!
Qin Na glares at her. “Please! Don’t be so unromantic, look how beautiful it is!”
If everything were this pure, it would be simple. Yu Xiaoyao still shrinks back.
“Take this!”
“Hehe!” Yu Xiaoyao nimbly dodges.
Slap! The snowball hits someone’s back, precisely on the spine.
Ah? Qin Na, who did the bad deed, pouts, waiting to be scolded. The boy turns around.
Such chocolate-like skin. But his eyebrows are furrowed, eyes wide! So scary! Qin Na closes her eyes.
Yu Xiaoyao also breaks out in a cold sweat. Suddenly, the boy reveals an incredibly bright smile.
“Senior, how do I get to the PE department?”
Huh? Qin Na is stunned.
Yu Xiaoyao freezes, then quickly reacts. “Fifth teaching building, third floor.”
“Thanks!”
Oh. What’s going on today?
A snowball hits directly on the face.
“Qin Na!!!”
……
Song Chu stands by the window, lost in thought.
A small hand tugs at his sleeve. He turns to see Lin Yichen’s beautiful, pale face. “Sorry,” she says, looking outside at the snowy landscape.
“What sorry?” he asks, noticing the pain in her eyes, which are filled with melancholy similar to Xiaoyao’s. But while Xiaoyao’s sorrow stems from Ji Ran, Lin Yichen’s is because of him.
“I’m sorry for putting you in a difficult position, Chu, truly,” she continues. “I tell myself that you love Yu Xiaoyao—she’s pure, kind, and good-hearted. And I know I’m not worthy of your love. But…” She buries her head in his waist, tears staining his clothes. “But I can’t stop loving you, so I stay by your side, asking for your care. I hate myself for wanting you!”
“Yichen…” Song Chu’s obsidian-like eyes mist over.
“But what should I do?” she asks, her tear-stained face hopeful yet pained. “I wanted to love you secretly and be happy, but I can’t bear the days without seeing or hearing you. What do I do? I hate this version of myself!”
Suddenly, she pushes him away and runs out.
“Yichen…” he watches her disappear.
What to do?
Lin Yichen disappeared.
Song Chu accompanies Yu Xiaoyao daily at the library, cafeteria, and dormitory. Everything appears normal. The sky after the snow is deep blue, with clouds resembling large cotton candy.
On the long tree-lined path, by the yellow-painted bench, Yu Xiaoying shielded her eyes from the bright sunlight. Song Chu stood quietly beside her.
“Song Chu. Aren’t you worried?” she asked.
“Why should I be? She will come back,” he replied confidently.
“You should go.”
Time stood still.
“Do what you truly want to do! That’s what Song Chu is like!” Yu Xiaoying smiled, sunlight shining on her skin.
“I…”
“Go for it!” She patted his shoulder. “Chu, it’s time to make a decision. I have never truly done anything for you; I have always been selfish.”
“Xiaoying…”
“Nana asked, ‘What is Xiaoying to you?'”
“She has always been my dream.”
“And Lin Yichen?”
“She is a responsibility.”
The sunlight warmed the piano room as Yu Xiaoying’s fingers awkwardly danced on the keys, the melody of “Alice” echoing.
Still so terrible! Never able to play as brilliantly as Ji Ran.
What am I in Ji Ran’s heart? What is it?
“Xiaoying.”
Lin Yichen leaned against the door, looking even thinner in her loose red coat. Seeing Yu Xiaoying’s surprised look, she smiled weakly.
“I always come here when I see you feeling down. Am I disturbing you?”
“No…” If Qin Na were here, she would definitely call her hypocritical, but Yu Xiaoying smiled quietly.
Lin Yichen stared blankly at her, her clear pupils reflecting Yu Xiaoying’s quiet smile.
“The reason Chu always loves you. Is it your smile?”
Yu Xiaoying had not genuinely smiled since Ji Ran left. “No.” She put away her smile and answered coldly.
Lin Yichen awkwardly lowered her head, fiddling with her buttons.
The piano room fell into a deep silence.
“Do you have anything else?” Yu Xiaoying asked.
“Can I?” Lin Yichen’s voice was as small as a whisper.
“What?”
Lin Yichen looked up, sunlight shining on her flickering tears. “Can I beg you to please give Song Chu to me?”
Yu Xiaoying stood there, her heart pounding heavily.
She could barely hear Lin Yichen, but tears on her face deeply disturbed Yu Xiaoying’s heart.
“Can I?” she begged, crying.
Can I give up self-respect for love? Can I beg my so-called romantic rival for the person I love?
“I refuse.” Yu Xiaoying answered coldly.
Lin Yichen looked at her in a daze. After a long time, she slowly stood up. “Sorry for disturbing you.”
She walked towards the door, like a puppet drained of energy.
“What is Song Chu to you?” Yu Xiaoying asked bitterly.
Lin Yichen turned around. Mentioning Song Chu, her face radiated happiness. “Chu is like a dream to me. A…” she smiled bitterly, “forever unattainable dream. What about you? What is Chu in your heart?”
Her radiance when mentioning Song Chu made Yu Xiaoying feel jealous.
Yes, what is Song Chu to me?
“I hate you.”
“?” Lin Yichen looked at her in surprise. Yu Xiaoying, who was always distant, would never say such an emotionally charged word. Hate, she smiled bitterly, “I should hate me.”
“I hate you being next to Chu,” Yu Xiaoying said cruelly.
Lin Yichen stood in shock, her face pale.
The two faced each other.
Winter sunlight shone on their pale faces.
After a long time…
“Xiaoying, Yichen?!”
Until Song Chu’s hesitant voice rang out, the two seemed to wake up from a dream.
“Come with me.”
Song Chu, who had just stepped into the doorway, hadn’t yet come to his senses when Yu Xiaoying pulled him out.
“Hey, Xiaoying, I just saw Yichen…”
Yu Xiaoying glared at him, causing him to swallow his words.
They walked along the school’s long tree-lined path, now sparsely populated. The familiar bench lay dust-covered, everything seeming unchanged yet completely different.
Yu Xiaoying stopped.
“Speak.”
Yu Xiaoying told Song Chu to run, pulling him along. Her cold fingers gripped his tightly, beads of sweat forming in their palms. They ran swiftly, the familiar campus scenery retreating, eventually circling around the school hand in hand.
They stopped again at the tree-lined path, and a vague unease settled in Song Chu’s heart.
“Speak,” Yu Xiaoying gasped.
“What?”
“Dreams and responsibilities, which one do you want?”
Song Chu’s heart raced, his sweat turning cold. He attempted to read her emotions through her eyes, but they revealed nothing.
Yu Xiaoying fixed her gaze on him. “Give me an answer, Chu.”
“Speak!”
“Dreams,” he managed to reply.
“So, if I tell you to never acknowledge her again, to be indifferent to all her joys and sorrows, can you do that?”
