Doing as I please is merely an unattainable dream for me. Not daring to hope means no disappointment, and thus living well. Yes, I live well, growing day by day, gradually becoming cold, gradually lonely, slowly growing accustomed to loneliness, accumulating my strength bit by bit. Externally, I gradually become gentle, gradually smooth. Internally, I gradually become cold, gradually accustomed to coldness. The deceased nanny once stroked my hair and said: "Yes, this is a true emperor!"
But why are there so many sympathetic tears in her eyes? Are those glistening tears shed for me?
That autumn, the nanny also passed away. I did not see her last face. The imperial physician said she died of illness. Ha, such a sudden illness.
That woman, the Empress Dowager, said that when the old nanny died, her face was distorted, too unsightly for me to see.
Distorted face? How painful that must have been! I truly wanted to hold her hand and gently ask: Is it as painful as when I was teething and bit your nipple?
But a tomb door separates us now, and I can no longer hold your hand, can no longer ask you anything. Your hand that often caressed my hair, what is it doing now? Your eyes that often gazed at me with tearful light, what are they looking at now?
From now on, whose knees can I rely on?
This world now has only me left. "Lonely one," I increasingly understand the meaning of how previous emperors referred to themselves.
I wander through the empty palace, stand on the unobstructed grassland, feeling the coldest wind of late autumn. I should become more accustomed—accustomed to such biting wind, such biting air, and even more biting people. Then, become accustomed to such a biting self, while smiling the most gentle spring breeze on my face.
The imperial city is my destiny. I know I cannot escape, it is predestined that I will spend my entire life as a false, lonely person.
She breathed rapidly, her gaze blurred, her cheeks flushed, breaking down my last line of defense.
At that moment, the desire was a feeling so deep in my bones.
At that moment, listening to her muffled moans, my heart suddenly calmed. She was mine. Finally, I was no longer alone!
But the next day, after the morning court, when I went to find her, she was gone. Asking the servants who had seen her, I traced her path and discovered she was with the person in flowered clothing.
I was actually careless!
The person in flowered clothing was extremely beautiful. With one appearance, they could topple the world; with one musical note, they could drive everyone crazy. With a delicate physique and elegant bones, majestic and handsome, they embodied the beauty of both women and men.
If not for me, they would have been the Qi Prince's beloved. So, they were very good to me, obedient and compliant. This was the only person who truly listened to me, yet also a chess piece I had to use.
No choice. In this life, I was destined to have no friends, no lover, no heart.
Mu Xiaoxiao slowly woke up, her mind still filled with the chaotic dream fragments. Before her transmigration, her aunt forced her to do chores, and her cousins spoke sarcastically and even hit her. But at school, Mu Xiaoxiao was the fierce leader of her gang! She seemed to have dreamed about her life after transmigration, with numerous handsome men… gentle Xiao Tiantian, domineering Xiao Tiantian, arrogant Xiao Huahua, delicate Xiao Huahua, charming Xie Xiaobai, gentle Xiao Yue, uh, the Xiao Yue who was hit by a vase for Lan Yuechu…
Mu Xiaoxiao sat up angrily.
Zhao Changping, sitting by the bedside, was startled: "Xiaoxiao, you're awake!"
"Are you thirsty? Hungry?"
Sweat, Mu Xiaoxiao rubbed her eyes - "Zhao Changping, who's that woman next to you?"
"It's Linger, don't you remember? Our carriage almost hit her on the road. She was there the night you were unconscious and even played the zither. Mu Xiaoxiao, you're not having intermittent memory loss, are you?"
Mu Xiaoxiao punched him: "You're the one with memory loss! Jinx!" She scanned them and their tightly clasped hands, finally realizing what was happening. Mu Xiaoxiao shouted: "Zhao Changping, you've seduced her! Time? Place? How did you sweet-talk this girl? Confess willingly, or face strict interrogation!"
Zhao Changping frowned: "Not telling."
"Big brother, as fellow transmigrators, you must share some experience..."
Zhao Changping looked at Yang Yinling, his eyes full of joy: "Okay, I'll share my happiness... It was the night you and Lan Yuechu dueled. After you both left, we secretly returned to the west wing, and then, under the moonlight, we pledged: Holding your hand, growing old together." He held Yang Yinling's hand, gave a light kiss, and solemnly said: "Linger, I love you."
Yang Yinling's face turned red as a peony. She quickly kissed Zhao Changping's face and lowered her head, her ears completely red. Such a shy girl made Zhao Changping's heart flutter.
Mu Xiaoxiao laughed inappropriately: "Old Zhao, you're quite skilled! You've already claimed such a beautiful super-hot girl! Alas, you're not leaving any chance for your bros!"
Moonlight Beauty was suddenly attacked on the chin, causing him to rise in pain to confront the attacker. He saw Long Yutian, whom the Su family’s elder had specifically instructed to be respectful towards and not to offend. However, this person appeared with a clear purpose – to take Mu Xiaoxiao. Could he not be defied even in this situation? Who exactly was this person?
