Crazy Smartphone – Part One

How could Lin Feng not feel guilty? He was just scared by the news on TV, and when he looked at Wang Xiaoyun’s phone messages, his heart sank further. He remembered the content of those messages, the cringy sweet nothings, the vulgar words, which seemed to have come straight out of his own mouth in his dream last night! In the dream, he was romancing the school beauty all night, nearly consummating the relationship, and the target was none other than the class monitor, Wang Xiaoyun! Did he send dream talk as text messages? No need to guess, it must have been that damn phone’s doing! Oh, my dear beauty, I thought of you as a beauty, not to harass you! You’re really going to be the death of me… 012 I am innocent, seeking votes and collection, oh heavens! These messages, these disgraceful messages, these cringe-worthy messages… thankfully, he didn’t sign his real name! How did Wang Xiaoyun know these messages were from him? No, she didn’t know for sure, just guessing. But why would she guess that? Could there be a slip-up about the beauty’s intelligent system inside him? It shouldn’t be, Wang Xiaoyun and the classmates were just guessing, they must be just guessing. Otherwise, this morning in the classroom, those guys would’ve confronted him directly instead of just making excuses to ask around! No wonder the class was so lively today, turns out his harassing texts weren’t just sent to one person! Wang Xiaoyun was one thing, the school beauty was indeed worthy of her title, so harassing her didn’t feel like a loss. But the other recipients…! What a beast I am! My tastes aren’t that varied, are they? Those senior girls with their sack-like figures, the thought of them even gives me nightmares, and I actually went out of my way to harass them? No wonder someone wrote a full blackboard of love letters like a lovesick fool, no wonder those fierce women kept throwing flirty glances at me today. It’s no surprise they’re amazed that such a flashy thing could happen to an unknown guy like me! Sigh, a woman’s vanity! Having someone secretly in love with you, that sense of superiority, which girl wouldn’t yearn for it? Those poor, unsold items finally realize they have admirers too; if they don’t take this opportunity to show off, how would they live up to this affection? I’m done for, no wonder the head class monitor was so hostile today and even ‘invited’ me for a private ‘date’; I actually put her in the same category as those unsold goods, she must hate me to the core! What to do? How to clean up this mess? Should I confess everything to her and hope for leniency? Anyway, I’ve had a crush on Wang Xiaoyun, the head class monitor, for a long time, why not take this chance to confess my feelings? But on what grounds? In the eyes of others, I’m just a purebred toad, while Wang Xiaoyun is a swan soaring in the sky. Confess to her? I’d be humiliated to death! One must know one’s place, so… maybe I should just… forget it… It’s all because of this damn broken phone! It actually sent my sleep-talking as anonymous texts. Wow! From now on, won’t I even have the right to dream? Big Beauty, Big Beauty, you’re too harsh, aren’t you? Such resentment! No way! Big Beauty, Big Beauty, this broken thing has been nothing but trouble, it’s only been one night, and you’ve not only stolen women’s underwear but also sent out crazy anonymous harassment texts. If this continues, I might not become the Chinese version of ‘P’, but rather a real perverted underwear thief or a flower-picking thief. I need to think of a way to fix this quickly. There’s no such thing as a free lunch in this world! This suddenly acquired awesome game equipment might just be a trap set by those cunning game developers to lure in poor gamers like me for beta testing, using us as human guinea pigs. My unconscious actions like stealing underwear and sending harassing texts might have been controlled through some backdoor in the Big Beauty system! That mysterious shadow at the window last night might have been an observer sent by them, secretly recording my every move and word after installing the Big Beauty AI system. Maybe right now, there are eyes watching me… Lin Feng’s forehead was sweating, his back felt cold, and all his hair stood on end. It must be true, someone must be influencing my emotions through Big Beauty! Otherwise, why would my mind be such a mess all day, filled with all sorts of disgusting thoughts, even reluctant to part with a few pieces of women’s underwear this morning, and now, when looking at Wang Xiaoyun, I keep unintentionally stealing glances at her chest, even feeling a bit impulsive, wanting to touch them. My audacity wasn’t this big before! But after carefully observing everyone around, the private room is semi-enclosed, and the only place where someone could see inside is from the door, and there seems to be no one there! Is it just my imagination? Maybe there’s no one secretly watching me, and it’s all just my imagination playing tricks? No one wants to harm me, no one is bored enough to do such high-tech experiments just for fun. Maybe I’m just under too much pressure and overthinking. Perhaps Big Beauty’s existence is just a dream within a dream, and I haven’t woken up from reality yet? No, no, the pain feels so real, and Wang Xiaoyun’s anger is so tangible, how could it be a dream! Big Beauty is real, I just haven’t understood her yet, haven’t fully mastered her. Maybe all these strange things are due to my mishandling? Why rush to deny her? I should trust her… no, I should trust myself! Yes, I should trust myself! Believe that I can surely master the use of Big Beauty! To untie the bell, one must find the bell-ringer. It looks like I need to find time to consult with the game developers on how to uninstall this awesome game equipment in real life. No, no, I should ask them for some upgrade patches to improve the control of this thing, that would be best. Why do I feel so weak? Why is my head so dizzy? The sky… why is it going dark… “Hey! Are you okay, Lin Feng? Lin Feng??” Suddenly, a cool sensation on his forehead, Wang Xiaoyun’s delicate hand was placed on Lin Feng’s forehead, and his pale complexion eased a bit. Lin Feng had just been battling with his inner demons, trapped in a whirlpool of thoughts from which he couldn’t escape, barely opening his eyes to see Wang Xiaoyun bending over him, her face filled with concern, calling out to him in distress. Young and vibrant, Wang Xiaoyun had a well-developed figure, and despite wearing loose school uniform, when she bent down, her collar inadvertently opened wide, revealing a glimpse of spring beauty to the pure-hearted Lin Feng sitting on the bench. With a buzz, all the blood in his body seemed to rush to one particular spot, and he felt his nostrils expand as if two streams were about to shoot out. “Uh, I’m very pure…” Lin Feng blurted out, then his vision went black, and he collapsed into Wang Xiaoyun’s arms. Wang Xiaoyun had no idea that her unintentional exposure had caused Lin Feng’s blood pressure to spike; seeing him suddenly faint, she became even more panicked, screaming for help. The restaurant was crowded with patrons, and upon hearing the cries for help, the place was instantly filled with people. A few young men, seeing a pretty girl in distress, displayed heroic spirit and assumed Lin Feng was some sort of lecher, and without a second thought, they grabbed him to give him a beating. Fortunately, Wang Xiaoyun hadn’t lost all reason in her panic and quickly explained the situation, and the crowd then helped lay Lin Feng down on a long bench, trying various methods to revive him. “Girl, what’s wrong with this boy?” “I… I don’t know either!”